This is some lyrics, that could be used for any occasion, for succeeding, but I wrote them because I have just passed my piano exam so this is how I felt going through it all.
I’ve done it x3
I’ve made it through
I’ve done it x3
I’ve made it through
Instrumental
At first it was easy
No effort needed
Nothing was in my way
no long holidays
no more exams
just me and the day.
But it the end it all payed of
Whatever I did was right
I managed to succeed
When I tried
Even though failure was in the bags
I held my head up high
Shrugged it all off
And now I know why.
But as time went on
I was left behind
and things were in my way
trouble came and went
exams did too
and then there was no time for play
But in the end it all payed off
whatever I did was right
I managed to succeed
When I tried
Even though failure was in the bags
I held my head up high
shrugged it all off
and now I know why.
I thought it was all over
Relaxation at last
but this is only when
all the trouble starts
I’d mucked up my practise
my time had been lacking
now all I could do was sit and prey
But in the end it all payed off
whatever I did was right
I managed to succeed
When I tried
Even though failure was in the bags
I held my head up high
shrugged it all off
and now I know why.
I’ve done it x3
I’ve made it through
I’ve done it x3
I’ve made it through
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Canary word: Present
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Bonjour mes amis, hello hello, and I'll be reviewing you today! Let's begin, shall we?
A few misspellings: "But in the end it all payed off."
I don't get this line in general. You're talking about how it was easy, then how it all payed off in the end? It doesn't really fit. I'd put off the refrain until the end of the second verse; it fits better.
I don't feel any rhythm going through this stanza. It seems clunky and slow-moving compared to the rest of the song, and also, there's no rhyme. Try and smooth it over a bit.
Oh, and a misspelling/typo - "prey." "Pray" is talking to God, "prey" is killing and eating something. ^^
Nice job, and keep writing! ^^
-Hawkie-