nice
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
*shock*
omg...so beautiful....*wipes tear*
do not respond to an e-mail,
long after the fact, and confess
your unadulterated love for
pasta and wild parties and crazy little boys,
just don’t. okay? *Bahahahahahah!HA!*
remember to wave goodbye
next time you speed down an old dirt road
and leave behind a heritage of so many
colors and people and
life and home, sweet home
*pretty*
It's great, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Beautiful stanzas and a deep tone that really hits home.
The third stanza's last line, although I can see what you were trying to do, is a little odd. I don't like the 'okay?' tag question on the end.
But that's my only little nitpick, I can't see much else.
omg. That's really all I can say about this, Brad. It.. a feeling of helplessness. A few lines didn't quite flow, like the last line of the first stanza, but it still works. really well.