want

Hey again dropout!
I like the kind of rhythm you establish at first, the consistency. It's easy to relate to.

"Right behind your back"
I feel like this doesn't fit that well. I wouldn't use "right" here, because it would be used more like "right in front of your face" rather than "right behind your back". You may want something more like "secretly behind your back" or something along those lines. You could also switch it so that the narrator does it to that person's face rather than their back.

I get the awkward break, and how you made the line itself an awkward break. That was kind of funny, but a bit confusing. It doesn't particularly relate to the rest of the poem in my view (unless you can clarify). Break could mean a line break like that, a break from a job, to break an object, or even to take a break from an activity. There is little context there, other than its awkward like the line break, but that doesn't fit with anything. Is there any way you could clarify this a bit?

Anyway, another short but nice poem. Keep it up!

-Falco

Hi dropout212
I love the poem. The main reason probably being its so simple and completely without context that any reader can relate it to a personal experience. Personally, I found I could relate to it perfectly. I have often felt this way.

I like the way you gave it the title want. Yet through the poem express many conflicting emotions. the first being boredom, maybe passiveness or something with the monotony of the morning ritual. two, the anger or arrogance and hate and three, the one I could probably identify with most is shame, self pity I guess because of how awkward it is. I have no idea if this is what your intentions were but I found the poem great.
Tick tock

interesting...your poem hides something...its not giving it all or leaving it out clear in black and white. But its simple at its best. It makes me want to read it over and over again just to understand. Making me try to relate the poem and the title to get answers to your message. Making me curious even more. Your stuffing a story or scene into one little white blank space with few words linking each other. Superb!

Hiya

I like the simplicity in this, and the emotion I feel when I read it.

There's a couple things that I think could be improved.

First, Cola and a ham sandwich seem like an odd breakfast. I also don't see why it's important to the poem. Other than I guess it adds to the casual kind of tone, which is a tone I like. But the inclusion of those foods feels unneeded to me.

I also don't understand why you italicized "occasionally." If you want to put emphasis on it, know that it already has emphasis by being on its own line. By putting it in italics, I feel like you're emphasizing it further than it should be, and I'm trying to squeeze some extra meaning out of it, but I'm not coming up with anything.

I like your "awkward break."

The end line leaves me questioning, and not in a good way, I think. I'm not sure if this is just something I want, so feel free to disagree with it, but I think this poem needs a little more depth in it. As it is now, I'm getting some emotion, which is good, but I don't really know what I'm feeling or why, and it's not strong enough. I think you could definitely do better in this respect. Figure out what you're trying to say. If you're writing about something personal, make it more universal. That way you won't feel like you're baring yourself to the world stark naked and vulnerable.

I hope my review helped! Let me know if you have any questions!
Keep writing!
~fortis

I've noticed that the collective titles of your poems, if combined and rearranged, form "I really want." Awesome. XD

Anyways, onto the review...

Well, this is a pretty decent poem. Perhaps not the most mind-boggling thing I've ever read, but I still liked reading it, and I thought it wasn't half bad. The theme of the poem is quite nice. It is nicely communicated by the poem, is eye-catching, and I find it great how well you tie this poem around the theme and clearly display your message. In particular, I like the conflict, and how it contributes to the theme. It's interesting seeing the MC's conflicts with himself/herself as he/she struggles with their identity and this person, who I must assume is somebody near and dear to the narrator. Or, rather, was; that's another central idea in your poem, concerning the broken relationship between the MC and this person. The MC seems to have spent exactly 3 months away from this person, and they hardly ever meet each other anymore. Obviously, the narrator still has a few mixed feelings. He/she's is making what I assume to be a rude gesture after the narrator's friend passes, but, afterwards, also thinks about their self-awareness, and somewhat apologizes for whatever it is, I'm assuming, that broke them up. The MC seems to have a lot personal conflicts, and I'm impressed by the way that you communicate them in the poem. In all, the narrator's interior conflict is nicely built and interesting to read, and works nicely to communicate the theme of the poem.

Furthermore, I liked a lot of other aspects in this poem. It flows nicely, smoothly proceeding from one point to another and another with each and every passing line. It might not be a detailed poem, but it communicates a lot in only a few lines, which is fantastic in a poem. In the space of a couple of dozen words, we can quite clearly see the narrator's regret and anger mixing together and formulating the conflict, the narrator's life and some of the things they do, and a little bit about the narrator's personality and behavior. Beyond that, I especially like the lines "that it/'s an awkward break." Not only does this help to show a part of the narrator's life - the awkwardness of the moment - but it is itself an awkward break. However, in the case of the latter, not a bad kind of awkward. It's a decent one, and was a neat touch in this poem. In particular, you managed to both convey a point and incorporate a small spacing aspect that helped to illuminate this poem even further. Therefore, nice job!

I enjoyed this poem. It is creative, vivid, and thoughtful, and communicates quite the powerful message. I liked reading this from start to finish, and I'm captivated by the theme and premise of the poem overall. Well done!