Published October 21, 2011
My dreams are filled of life and color
My world revolves around you,
You give me hope and power
Our hearts are full of love that’s true.
As I walk around
Holding your hand,
With our feet planted firmly on the ground
I stand.
The sun bearing down on the river
We watch the water stand still,
I want to remember
The way your eyes kill.
Maybe I’ll get my feet wet
Then splash you too,
You get wet
I run away laughing at you.
This all proves one thing
The most important one,
Makes the heart sting.
A phrase with three words
I love you.
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Canary word: Present
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Wow :O you had good usage of sensory detail...I felt like I was there with you experiencing what you were.
This is one of the many things that makes a poem good.
I also like it cause I can really relate to what your trying to say.
I would love to read more of your work.
Give me a holler if you ever need anything reviewed.
Overall, this poems shows so much talent. Bravo!
-Rem
This was I nice poem, but I'd just like to point out a few things. Corrections in violet:
Overall, I thought it was cute. Keep on writing!
overall great poem.
to me the word "doth" makes it flow better