z

Young Writers Society



In-Limbo

by drama_queen


This is my first script, so feel free to tear it apart. It was sort of inspired by some stuff I read on here, so please don't sue me!

In-Limbo

CASSY enters stage from right. She turns on her stereo loud and locks the door. She is holding a bottle of pills. She tips them into her mouth and takes a swig of water. She lies on the small bed, back to the audience.

The lights dim and music fades until it can just be heard. A thin, see-through black curtain is lowered between the former scene and front of the stage. The lights go on. CASSY is on all fours. She lifts here head and DEATH enters stage from left.

DEATH

(Offering CASSY and hand to get up) Hello, Cassy! How are you? (Looks at clipboard) Not too good, I see. Let’s take a look at your file then. Okay… ah-huh, wow! Chronically depressed. Divorced parents, bullied at school. Oh, and what’s this? A cutter! Well, I’m surprised I haven’t seen you sooner!

CASSY

(Confused) I’m sorry, where exactly am I? And who are you? And why on earth are you wearing that ridiculous cape?

DEATH

Of course, of course. I always forget about this part. (He sighs) Not even the people I see everyday remember me, but I guess that’s the way it is. (Brightens up) I’m Death, and you’re in-limbo.

CASSY

Sorry, I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.

DEATH

(Pointing to original CASSY) That’s you. You’re lying there right now. You took a few pills, and ended up here. In-limbo. Ever wonder how people who kill themselves all the time never do? That’s because they always end up here, where I give them a choice. They can either go back to earth and live out the rest of their miserable life, or come with me for the rest of eternity. All suicides get the option.

CASSY

So I’m here because I tried to kill myself? And now I get to decide whether I want to live or die? I’m sorry, but you’re obviously a freak, so I’m going.

CASSY tries to leave, but can’t find a door.

CASSY

(Frustrated) Okay, what the hell is going on here? Are you some stalker person or something?

DEATH

(Sighing) No, I’m not. It’s like I told you. I’m Death, you’re in-limbo. Now if you’ll kindly make up your mind, we don’t have much time left, as you’ve spent a lot of time asking stupid questions.

CASSY

You’re a freak, you know that?

DEATH

(Sarcastically) Ouch. That hurts. (Normally) Now can we get down to business, please? You’ve basically got two options, live or come with me. And you’ve only get five minutes left to make that decision, and if you can’t make it in time, you’re coming with me.

CASSY mumbles something incoherently and sits down. DEATH snaps his fingers at her.

DEATH

Come on! We don’t have all day, here!

CASSY

I don’t know! What do you think I should do?

DEATH

(Impatiently) Make up your bloody mind, that’s what you should do!

CASSY starts crying. DEATH sits next to her.

DEATH

I hate the criers! Listen, I’m not supposed to be telling you this, but it says here that if you go back to Earth, you’ll continue to live the same crappy life you’ve always had – crappier, actually, because you’ll have to see a therapist every week. If you come with me, you’ll live forever with all the other people who were totally fed up with life.

CASSY

Do I go to heaven or hell?

DEATH

(Laughing) You believe in that, do you? I don’t get many of you up here. There’s no such thing, it’s just eternity. It’s not that bad, you won’t only see the suiders. Most people find old friends or family and set up with them. What do you say? And you’d better make up your mind, because there’s not that much longer left.

CASSY looks at the earth her. She stops crying.

CASSY

Everyone back home hates me. Even my parents got divorced because of me. I can’t do anything right.

DEATH stands up and helps CASSY up.

CASSY

Come on, I don’t want to ruin anybody else’s life.

DEATH and CASSY exit left. Earth CASSY, who you could see and hear breathing, stops. The lights fade. Fin.


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Points: 1040
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Mon Jul 06, 2009 5:59 pm
thaddaeusj wrote a review...



This was a pretty good script for it being your first. I just have a few things I found wrong.

First, I know you mentioned that the parents were divorced because of her, but that didn't really help. I think you should add in her explaining how it was her fault. Also I think that you could end it better. Something that went through my mind was that when Cassie left her mother/father could enter and be really upset, maybe even apologizing. Then maybe you could hear Death laugh and Cassie scream. I think that might make it a little better of an ending.

Another thing is that I don't think the breathing thing at the end is necessary. I understood from the dialogue that she was gonna be dead if she went with him.

One final thought, why would he be rushing her and having the final result (if she didn't decide) end with her going with him unless where he was going was somewhere bad?

These are just a few thoughts. Hope they help and were not too confusing.




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Points: 690
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Sun Jul 05, 2009 4:09 am
thedudewhodonttalk18 wrote a review...



Hey, Drama Queen. You've got an interesting story here. Just a few things here.

I wanna hear more about Cassy. Give us some sort of backstory or flashback. Something that will make the audience have sympathy for Cassy. Also, just my opinion, but, when the Cassy is faced with this decision, maybe she should think about it more thoroughly. Make it a harder decision.

But, you got some wonderful ideas here. The topic is definitely something we can all relate to, in one way or another.

-Chris




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Points: 1361
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Mon Jun 08, 2009 5:06 pm
nixonblitzen wrote a review...



Hello, Drama Queen! This is pretty well-written. I didn't find any spelling or grammar errors. I do wonder why "in-limbo" is hyphenated. Why isn't it just "You're in limbo"? Unless you mean to say that "in-limbo" is an adjective rather than a place? Then I supposed it would make sense.

Ever wonder how people who kill themselves all the time never do?
What does this mean?

Logistically, how would this work out as a play? Would there just be two actors as Cassy & the audience would hopefully not be able to tell the difference? Also, it seems like the audience wouldn't be able to hear Cassy breathing at the end, unless she breathed like Darth Vader or something.

When I finished this, I thought to myself, "What's the point?" I, as a reader, didn't really understand what you were trying to accomplish with this scene. The characters are kind of flat. The dialogue is interesting at some points, but I didn't leave it feeling moved in any way.

Sorry to be so harsh! I think there's room for improvement. It's definitely a good start!
-Rachel





We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
— T.S. Eliot