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Shadow's Rising Chapter 10 (V0)

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Author's note:

This chapter contains a prophecy which may be subject to future changes. In the previous chapter Shadow convinced Shear to free the dragonets after he drugged the other dragon guardian to sleep.

Chapter 10

Shadow felt a shiver go through all the dragonets as Shear said those words. She was going to tell them about their parents. They had never been told anything about their families except for what tribe they were from and that they had each been taken for the prophecy. Filled with excitement and nervousness they all gathered around Shear and sat down. Shear took a deep breath and began her story.

“The first thing you all need to know is the full prophecy in its entirety.”

War is rising once again. To finish the fight between dragons and men. In deceit and darkness he steals the minds, of every dragon and human he finds. The corrupt and downtrodden are who he aids. For their freedom and lives is what he trades. The dragon tribes will lose it all, if they should fall into his thrall. A dragon from each tribe might create, a way to avoid this terrible fate.

A child of night cloaked in shadow, to keep relations from growing shallow.

A child of flames gilded in coal, to take them to their ultimate goal.

A child of storms clothed in lightning, to guide them when the road is frightening.

A child of wind cradled by air, to pull them out of deep despair.

A child of cold enclosed in ice, to give them all solid advice.

A child of earth entwined in vine, to make sure no one is left behind.

A child of stone surrounded by gems, to strengthen bonds between good friends.

Together they help dragons unite, to end the war or continue the fight. To each tribe they make their way, but in no single tribe will they stay. The plot revealed they make their stand, to bring about the evil’s end. Alas the dragonets betrayed, with no one left to bring them aid. Now alone at journey’s end, can they truly trust their friend? A powerful dragon with scales pale, will bring an end to their tale. Released by dragonets united, the battle, now, will be decided. The king of dragons and of humans, decides who wins and who loses.

“That is the full prophecy.”

Shadow shivered. He certainly was the ‘child of night cloaked in shadow’. His mother had hidden him in shadow since birth because it was against the rules of the Night Wing royalty for a princess to have children with a commoner.

Shear continued, interrupting Shadow’s thoughts.

“And so, the wings of protection formed to keep the dragonets of prophecy from becoming corrupted by evil. We sent members to every tribe as soon as we knew the timing of the next double full moons though none of us guardians were sent to retrieve your eggs. The messenger we sent to the Flame Wings found an egg that was almost completely black with red spots just like a smoldering coal. Unfortunately, the egg belonged to the fiery and ill tempered queen Sear who had recently lost her mate. She wouldn’t let the egg leave the Flame Wing city and even threatened war. Eventually the messenger struck a deal with the queen and the guardian of the flame temple. The guardian would raise the hatchling in the temple so he wouldn’t be unduly influenced by the Flame wings to hate the other tribes. At least, until the time came when he would join the rest of you. Unfortunately, as you know that didn’t exactly work out as planned.” Shear sighed shaking her head.

“Next was the ‘child of storms clothed in lightning’. Our messenger found Tempest on a high pillar of stone that served as a nest for Storm Wings. Her egg was set on a higher platform and was struck by lighting so often there were scorch marks on the stone beneath. Apparently your mother was a great warrior and quite close to the queen.” Shear said with a soft look at Tempest.

“Unfortunately, she died fighting a giant sea monster while defending other Storm Wings. The queen didn’t want to let you go, but agreed so long as we promised a Storm Wing would help raise you.” Shear explained.

“So, we got stuck with Surge because the queen was trying to help me?” Tempest asked incredulously. Shear nodded.

“Urgh. I guess that was nice of her, but I wish the wings of protection had chosen literally anyone else,” Tempest sighed. Shear chuckled before continuing.

“Next was the ‘child of wind cradled by air’. In the sky islands that are the home of most wind wings, caves are cut out of the sides of cliffs to serve as nests for families. Most of them are cut deep into the mountain and are shielded from the wind, but out of neglect or laziness your egg was left too close to the edge of the cliff and when our messenger found you your egg was being tossed around in the wild winds near the cliffs. I’m sorry but we couldn’t find out anything about your parents Gale.” She said compassionately.

Gale nodded. He was trying to keep his composure and uncaring attitude, but Shadow could feel in his mind how much it hurt to hear that his parents might not have cared about him.

“Next was the ‘child of cold enclosed in ice'. Apparently the wings of protection have no Ice Wings or Tree Wings, so a Wind Wing was sent to retrieve your egg Hailstorm. When he arrived at the Ice Wing capital and told the Ice Wings of his goal, he was told to wait. Then, after a few days, they came to him with an egg frozen in a block of ice and gave instructions on how and when to defrost it so it would hatch on the night of the two full moons. They never said anything about who your parents were and their only condition for allowing you to be taken was that the wings of protection had to ensure that you would return to the Ice Wing city at some point so they could study you.”

“So, I’m basically an Ice Wing experiment? Do you think they’ll tell me who I am and answer all my questions if I go back there?” Hailstorm asked anxiously.

“I don’t know Hailstorm. I hope that they do but to be honest I know very little about Ice Wings. In fact, the only tribe I know less about is the Tree Wings which is the next tribe I’ll talk about.”

“Aurora, you are the ‘child of earth entwined in vines’. We sent a Wind Wing into the jungle, but he never returned. Then we sent a Stone Wing, and he returned but had no memory of what he’d found. In desperation we sent a team of three stone wings and this time they came back with your egg. They told us that Tree Wings could control plants and so they grabbed a random egg and entwined it with vines before handing it to our messenger. Other than that, the entire group couldn’t remember much about their encounter with the Tree Wings, which is why they remain a mystery.”

“I guess I’ll just have to find out for myself then.” Aurora said determinedly. Shadow smiled. Out of all the dragonets she hadn’t given up hope in the slightest. It also gave him a bit of hope for the future.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Hailstorm said holding up his talon. “Did you just say the Tree Wings chose a random egg and wrapped it in some vines so that it fulfilled the prophecy? Aren’t prophecies supposed to predict the future? I mean, you can’t just choose any egg you want and make it fit the prophecy. Right? Aurora’s egg had to be special in some way.”

Shear shook her head.

“That’s exactly why everyone wants to control you so badly. So long as it fits the prophecy, the Tree Wings wrapping a random egg in vines could have been exactly what was foreseen. In other words, the prophecy doesn’t say HOW something will happen only that it WILL happen. If the Tree Wings hadn’t entwined Aurora’s egg in vines, there still would have been an egg entwined in vines somehow. Whether you were chosen by fate, or chance or even the whims of other dragons the fact remains that you were chosen. And no matter what the prophecy says about your future it is still your choice to make. So, make it wisely.”

Shear gave each of them a serious look to make sure her point was understood.

“And lastly there was the ‘child of stone surrounded by gems’. The stone wing we sent to retrieve you probably had the easiest time searching for you. In the stone wing capital, there is a mine that runs deep below the city. In it there are crystals made of concentrated magic. Our messenger went straight there and found your egg laying in a mine cart full of gems and magic crystals. Apparently your parents were in some dispute about taking treasure that had to be repaid. When our messenger told them of the prophecy, they made a deal for your egg to be taken in exchange for all their debts to be paid. Apparently it took a large portion of the Wings of Protection’s treasure to pay off the massive debt. You were then given over to us along with the gems and crystals in the cart. I’m sorry but that is all I was told. They might have had no other choice, or it could have just been for greed. Either way it was a terrible thing and I’m sorry I had to tell you this way,” Shear said empathetically. Boulder took a moment before he sighed.

“I guess I’m quite lucky then. Instead of being stuck with a family that would sell me for money, I was raised alongside a wonderful new family that cares about me.” He said, smiling at the other dragonets.

Shear smiled with a talon over her heart. She looked almost on the verge of tears as Shadow felt a surge of warmth and affection from her towards the dragonets.

Even after all that’s happened to him. I’m so glad we raised them together. At least they had each other. I wish…

Shear sighed wistfully. She didn’t have time to dwell on it.

“Before you go I should tell you. If you plan on visiting each of the dragon capital cities you should be careful about approaching them. Not all the tribes agreed to give up their prophecy dragonets and some might try to keep you for themselves. Everyone fears the unknown and since you will decide the fate of all dragons they may very well try to force you into turning the future in their favor.”

“If I could give you all one last word of advice from all the guardians it would be this. Fulfilling your destiny is not done in one choice that decides the fate of all dragons, but rather is the culmination of all the small choices made for better or worse every day. So don’t fear your destiny nor rely on it to solve your problems. Rather you should live every day in such a way that you can take pride in what you’ve done. Help others when you can but don’t try to bear the world on your shoulders.”

“You are dragons. You were born to soar. So don’t let the weight of regret or the burdens of others keep you from flying free.”

“Follow your heart and listen to your friends. If you should ever loose your way or find yourself giving in to despair, remember these words. True heroes do not wish for an easy life. They wish for the strength to overcome the difficult life they’ve chosen. So, if you’re in such a place because you didn’t take the easy way out, you’re already a hero. Take heart in that fact and push onward like the heroes you are my little dragonets.”

Shear took a shaky breath in as tears formed in her eyes.

“I know that I was not your true parent, but I hope you all know that I am so very proud of every one of you. I never really realised how fond on you I’ve become, but now that you’re leaving there are so many things I wish I’d done with you,” She sniffed rubbing a tear from her eye.

A few of the dragonets had started to tear up as well. Aurora was sniffling, and Boulder had a somber look while Tempest, Gale and Hailstorm all tried to hide the fact that their eyes were brimming with tears. Seeing them all like this Shadow couldn’t help but feel his own eyes begin to burn a bit. Shear leaned forward and wrapped her wings around all the dragonets and squeezed them tight.

“Alright little ones. It’s time to go. I’ll escort you to the base of the Mountains of Rain and Night. You can start your journey from there so that Quake and any other dragons who may look for you will lose your scent. Then I’ll return here and leave you to begin your journey.”

“Will we ever see you again?” Aurora asked sadly. Shear smiled down at her.

“Perhaps. When this is all over I’ll be sure to find you, but I do hope we meet again before then.”

Then Shear released them from her bear hug and got up to lead them out of the cave. The dragonets were all such a loud mess of thoughts, worries and hopes as they followed her up the tunnel that it gave Shadow a headache. He wasn’t sure if he should tell them about his mind reading abilities, but he might have to consider it if they kept thinking so loudly all the time. Then all their thoughts quieted. Shadow looked up to find them all standing behind Shear as she grasped the handle firmly in one talon. After a moment’s hesitation she swung the door open and stepped into the afternoon sunlight with all the dragonets following close behind.

Finally, they were free.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
EllieMae
Review

Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

(GREETING & INTRODUCTION)
Bonjour my friend! Ellie here for a review of Shadow's Rising Chapter 10. Thanks for posting this! Lets get right into the review! Onward!!

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
(CONTENT - my impressions / interpretation)

From my understanding, in chapter 10 of this story, we follow a group of dragonets who each posses their own uniques powers or abilities. They each learn about their own true identity and their own roles in a prophecy foretelling of this war between humans and dragons.

The dragonets are raised in secrecy by Shear. They are introduced to the complexities of their backgrounds and the importance of what they will be doing in this prophecy. They receive advice from shear about their choices and unity.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
(CONTENT - include specific suggestions)

This piece is incredibly detailed and filled with information! My only piece of advice may be that it is a little hard to follow along with if you are trying to read it quickly. I quite enjoy information and dialogue/speech-packed stories. I love the format!

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
(CONTENT - include specific praises)

You are an incredible writer. I love this plot and I am eager to read more :) I love your characters. Thanks for writing!

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
(CONTENT & SIGN-OFF)

Have a lovely night! I love the effort you put into this writing. It definetely paid off! This was a read very well worth my time tonight! Im looking forward to more!

Sincerely, your friend,
-Ellie Mae :D

thanks for the review!
I am glad you enjoyed. This chapter is one I hope to improve a lot since the dialogue is a bit long.
Your reviewing format is interestingly structured. I like the idea of a smore. Really cool!

User avatar
Ventomology
Review

Oooooh prophecy!

Great poem, by the way. While the rhythm and meter aren't perfect, you did an overall good job sticking as closely as you could to them, and the poem structure is very clear. I think it might have looked better if you had actually used line breaks in the first and last stanzas... but I get that the YWS publishing formatting can be a little tricky, and that might have been your way of showing stanza separation.

Also, I'm a sucker for people writing their own in-universe poetry. It's the coolest thing.

First thing: I feel like Shear would say something about the fact that Shadow, a night wing, conveniently just appeared and is probably in the prophecy. And I also think it would mean more for character development for her to point this out instead of Shadow in his thoughts. We always love a reluctant hero, and it's kind of self-important of him to assume he matches the description, when he really hasn't been a self-important character thus far. Maybe some kind of "I'm gonna help! And it sure would be really cool if I was one of you!" from Shadow, while Shear, the nice grown-up, gives us readers all the wink-wink and ties Shadow into her VERY GOOD talk about fate.

I should mention. I love her opinion on fate and self-determinism. It's one of the best takes I've seen in a while.

Moving on:

I understand that there is... so much exposition that does, legitimately, need to be had here. I would like to see a little more action in the middle of all these very long segments of dialogue. It doesn't have to be big. But now that Shadow is here and can see the other dragons and interact with them, I really do want to see some pauses in long dialogue for a breath, or a moment of facial expression change, or for someone else in the group to react spur-of-the-moment. You don't have to wait until Shear has summarized the entire egg history of a dragonet to get to their reactions--they would realistically be gasping or gulping or being sad right away.

I also suspect that Shear, as someone who clearly has thoughts about the prophecy and fate and how these dragonets were raised and acquired, would have a lot of emotion as she tells each of the kiddos about their pasts.

Aside from that, the actual departure in the last couple paragraphs is nicely done. The reactions of the cave-grown dragonets are all spot on, and it's a little obvious, but having a door open to sunlight is such nice imagery for freedom.

This would require major structural changes that might not match your plot so far, but I kind of wish Shadow had a bigger stake in this goodbye than he seems to have. If he's been watching Shear and the dragonets for so long, does he have any thoughts about leaving? Does Shear pull him in at all or make any promises that she'll be a supportive grown-up for him as well, in the event that they meet again?

Hope this helps,
-Vento

Thanks.

This was my most difficult chapter to write for the same reason you mentioned about long dialogue sections. I ended up shortening Shadow's part of the prophecy to cut down on the talking. Perhaps adding more movement and body descriptions will allow me to divide this up.

I tried to speed through this part of the story but ended up skipping over things like Shear's interaction with Shadow. I'll probably rewrite this section and allow it to be a bit longer.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! :)



I don't do time.
— Liberty