Équilibre

Hey there, Dragon! Happy Review Day! Your title brought me here, it's great.

“I am not telling you again, Ross,” she said, glaring across the room at her younger brother. “Quit leaning on the desk. You’re practically sitting on it!”

“What about now?” He jumped up onto the ebony desk, grinning smugly back at her. She rubbed her forehead in exasperation. He needs to grow up, she thought, wrinkling her nose at his unbuttoned collar and loosened tie. He said it was how David Tennant dressed, but she thought that was just his excuse to be a slob. After all, Tennant was just an actor.

“Ross,” she hissed. “Get off before Father comes in.”

“You’re not my mother, Chalise,” Ross retorted, folding his arms.

Chalise shook her head and ignored the jab. Why did she have to be his sister? Everything else seemed to be perfect. The Colonial room they sat in was perfect, pristine in every way. Beneath her glistened the polished obsidian floor, the darkness broken only by square silhouettes of gray marble. The white recliners and fainting couch sat inside their own squares, meticulously organized around the fireplace. Beyond the couch, alabaster French doors led past the areca (what is this) palm to the patio. Matching windows lined the adjacent wall around a chevron of books. The golden chandelier hung directly above her, adjusted just right so the arms pointed like a wind rose compass into the corners.

And amidst all that beauty and perfection sat her brother, at odds with Order, legs askew and suit a wrinkled mess. He’d knocked a desk chair to one side and sat on top of a stack of papers, crumpling the stack’s visible corner. Imbecile.

“Daydreaming again, are we?” Ross said, chinking the glass flower vase next to him.

“Oh, grow up,” Chalise said, glaring at him.

“You’re such a girl,” Ross said.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means maybe Miss Prissy-priss needs to get some fresh air once in a while, instead of ogling her bloody mirror all the time.” He clasped his hands beneath his chin and piped his voice up. “‘Oh, Milton loves my eyes. He said they were like a perfect, stormy day. Maybe Father will let me go out with him. Oh, I just love Milton.’” He grinned knowingly.

How did the little imp…

“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” Chalise said, eyes narrowing. “And what if Father heard about the ivy?”

Hey there! Kekai, here to review. I picked up this story because of the name; what a cool word! I wasn't disappointed by what I found inside. Your grammar is quite good, and your characterization is impeccable. Even though this is incredibly short, the character's personalities really come through immediately.
If anything, I would simply suggest adding more introductory lines or resolution. The ending felt quite abrupt. Is this a snippet of a longer work? Or did you write only this much for your assignment? I want to know what happens next!
In all, great work. Thanks so much for writing.

Hi there

This reminds me SO much of me and my sister (her being Ross, of course )

You got the sibling rivalry emotions exactly right. Your descriptions were very vivid and well worded. The dialogue flowed naturally.

The only thing I would change would be the end. Although I like imagining what exactly her threat means, a little explanation would have made it so much better. Or at the very least give Ross' reaction. That would tie this whole story up in a neat little bow.

Keep writing!

~WallFlower

Clarice Arrais with a review here!
Jeez...
It reminds me so much about my lil sister and I.
Siblings have this thing: the older try to look after the younger, but the brat always get to the nerves... Mimicking our actions... I always felt like kicking the girl.
Your grammar is good, the shape and execution is neat and well disposed. Your text is rightly right.
But after reading the short story, I missed something. I read, re-read, but it was like you did not focus enough in the threat at the end. I did not feel I was reading a short story, but a chapter in a novel. The thrill you create with the "ivy".
It requires more details to satisfy the reader. It felt like it was incomplete.
But this is the only thing.

Take these in consideration, but valorize your style. Take some advices from people, but never forget how to write yourself into what you are writing. Ok? Keep working!