IN THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS
Everything they say has a beginning and every beginning has an end but this year rolled by pretty fast. There was hardly enough time for the holidays to sink in. I guess time was in its perpetual state of hurry. Now it’s almost that time of the year when chickens wish they were never born. It’s Christmas time!
I used to wonder what the fuss was about. To me, Christmas was only that time of the year when mommy cooks, (normally during the year the cooking was left to us girls), and when I would get new clothes. The general excitement would have been understood if business men were only excited about their end of year profit or people were just happy to see their missed relatives. Christmas had no real meaning to me, but who can blame me, I was only five.
I had a friend who shared this similar perception, though his were a little extreme. He didn’t see the need for any holidays at all. No new years eve, no Halloween days and certainly no Christmases. He found them absurd. According to him, dates and calendars are just self-imposed restrictions on time by man.
I liked holidays, anything that kept me away from school. I liked Christmas because it brought everyone gone during the year back home. Like I mentioned earlier, mommy always does all the cooking for Christmas, we girls just helped with stuff in the kitchen. Mommy would cook delicacies, from fried rice and chicken to pounded yam and ‘egusi’ soup. My dad would buy chickens prior to the day and we would feed them till they were fat and ready for slaughter. I never had the heart to stay while their throats were being slit.
This Christmas, my dad brought home this particular chicken; it was a red headed. As usual, it went through the normal preparation process. With throat supposedly slit, we plunged it into the pot of hot boiling water to make the feathers easier to remove. To our utmost shock, the chicken jumped right out of the pot as its butt touched the hot water. We were stupefied for a while because we all thought it was dead.
With its head dangling by just a piece of flesh, the defiant chicken dashed for the door and unto the streets. We suddenly came to when we realized dinner was running away, we chased after it. But the chicken, given a second chance at life, ran for its dear life, it flew through fences, dodged and dribbled troops of four-legged superior humans who wanted so desperately to kill him. I had never seen any chicken as courageous as that one. With blood trickling down its neck and the humans behind in hot pursuit, the chicken ran like a maniac.
It was a funny site and attracted the entire neighborhood. I, for one was tempted to feel sorry for the chicken but then I thought; what was the chicken thinking when daddy brought it home, that it was going to be adopted? I mean, doesn’t he know that his species are the most craved for during this time of the year? Now it’s pulling this James bond act and almost ruining dinner. To cut the long story short, the chicken slowed down after losing lots of blood and we were finally able to catch it. Dinner tasted good.
Fifteen years after that incident and I was thinking, Thank God, I’m not that chicken, whose destiny had been stamped from birth to die. I had my life and no matter how rough the year had been, I was not being barbecued or hunted for dinner. I had the most prized possession God gave to humans, that is, Life and I had a choice in keeping it. Therefore I found every reason to be thankful. Right then and there, I realized Christmas was about sharing the joy of simply being alive with others, there’s always a reason to be thankful and to get in the spirit of Christmas, no matter how miserable you think your life is.
Even though this is coming a little bit too early, Happy Christmas, and A merry new year in advance!
Thanks for reading!
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,853 Reviews
Hello there dolwright! I, Murtle, usually known as Kyllorac, will be reviewing you today, on this very fine Review Day.
With that said, onto the review!
From the first paragraph, this piece struck me as being a bit preachy, which is a shame because this could be a really funny and touching piece. Not all stories need lessons or morals boldly attached to them, and a lot of stories tend to work better when the lessons and morals arise naturally from the story. If you think about stories like Aesop's Fables, the morals are never actually stated, but you can figure them out anyway because the story itself demonstrates the morals so clearly.
I think this story here could really benefit from a similar approach. All the references to the "true meaning of Christmas" could be taken out, with the exception of the last one where you realize what Christmas meant to you, and the story itself wouldn't be harmed. The first paragraph and the stated lessons could similarly be cut.
Basically, tell the story as just a story. It is, after all, the story of how you found meaning in Christmas, and so the meaning you found will naturally arise from the story. There's no need to state that you found it, or even what the meaning was, and doing so makes your readers feel like they're getting pounded over the head with such.
I'd suggest working in more about how you feel about the whole experience, throughout the entire experience. Right now, you focus a lot on how you felt about Christmas before the experience, which is great and really helps make the story relatable, but you don't really cover how you feel during the chase, or what it was about the chicken's plight that made you have the change of heart about Christmas. If you were to expand upon those feelings, then this story would be much stronger, because then your readers would be able to go along with you on your journey of realizing the importance of Christmas, rather than just being told an otherwise-forgettable statement.
Stories make things more memorable, and your story is definitely memorable. Unfortunately, the lesson isn't. So expand your story a little more, and make it give rise to the lessons you want it to teach. It will make those lessons much more memorable.
Hello, Dolwright.
Firstly, I wish a merry Christmas to you too, and I have, by way of an early gift, a review for you. Let's look at the positives first:
I like the humour. It's nice and gentle - not roaring-out-loud humour, but soft jokes that make you smile, and that works really well with the piece. I think it has a nice message at the end, and I completely agree with the point of 'being alive with others' as the spirit of Christmas, and how simply beautiful that is. The section about the chicken was rather amusing (albeit slightly horrifying at the same time!) and I quite like the way you linked it round at the end.
However, there are a couple of little grammatical and arrangement-orientated nitpicks that I need to point out, just so this piece reads a little better.
I don't think you need the last sentence - 'It's Christmas time!' would be more effective.
With the last bit - the 'did I mention chicken bit' - I think it should look like this:
Or you could just stick a comma after 'soup' - and remember the question mark at the end.
Have a comma instead of a full stop between 'blood' and 'I' - otherwise it doesn't make sense.
There's a bit of lacking punctuation here, I think. I'd write it like this:
That's just how I'd do it - you don't have to arrange it like that.
Capital letter - it's a name.
There are a few more little grammatical errors in terms of unneeded capital letters and misplaced or lacking commas, but I'm sure you can sort all that by having a read through. I feel I've pointed out all the major little things.
Anyway, good job! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!
~Dark
Hi! i wanted to say that i like your topic and the added humor in your piece. Those made me smile while reading.
I'm happy that you found your own reason and the essence for celebrating Christmas, and for sharing it to us.
Nice job..
God Bless,..
=)