As she moved up the hill, she felt a lump in her throat, and tears began brimming in her eyes. She wasn’t sure why she was sad. Was it because of her family or her job? But there wasn’t an exact reason to feel sad.
She had taken time off from her busy schedule to spend some moments with herself. She knew something was wrong but couldn’t figure out what it was. Slowly, she completed her trek and reached a brookside. By now, she was feeling hungry, but she hadn’t brought anything to eat when she left the house. She was surprised — for the first time in many days, she felt hungry. Was it the long walk that made her hungry, or was it simply the feeling of being away from all her worries that created this change?
Since she had nothing to eat, she looked around for something edible. She marvelled at how even a short distance could make such a difference. As she was searching, she heard someone calling her name, “Divya.” She turned around to see her colleague Meenakshi, whom she could hardly stand. As usual, Meenakshi was impeccably dressed, with flawless makeup. Divya felt annoyed, as she saw herself as an average-looking girl from a middle-class family who could never keep up with Meenakshi’s standards.
Divya thought, "Nowhere in the world can I find some peace." As she was lost in her thoughts, Meenakshi called her again.
“Hey, Divya! What brings you here?”
Divya, startled, replied, “I’m just here to spend some time with nature.”
“Oh, nice! I’m here running away from my life,” Meenakshi said.
Divya grunted inwardly. "She has a perfect life. What could she possibly need to run away from?"
Meenakshi noticed Divya looking around and said, “It seems like you’re searching for something.”
“I didn’t bring anything to eat, so I was just looking for fruit,” Divya replied.
“Oh, come on! I’ve got a basket full of food. We can share,” Meenakshi offered.
“No, no, it’s okay,” Divya insisted, but Meenakshi grabbed her hand, led her to a tree, and made her sit down. She then forced a piece of cake into Divya’s hand. Divya was stunned by all this and stared at Meenakshi.
“You know, Divya,” Meenakshi began, “I don’t have any real friends. I’ve always kept up this high-profile image, and because of that, no one ever wants to be friends with me. I envy you when I see you with a bunch of friends from your neighbourhood. You’re so lucky.”
Still, in surprise, Divya replied, “I always thought you had a perfect life—good looks, good money. I used to wish I had a life like yours.”
That evening, they shared their secrets and insecurities, along with a good meal.
They both realized that we all live in our bubbles, trying to be someone else, and often miss out on appreciating what we already have. They talked, sang, and laughed all the way back home.
The next day at the office, they pretended not to know each other, planning to meet as strangers again at the brookside.
Life is simple; it’s our thoughts that make it complicated. Have you ever wondered what life would be like if we were honest with ourselves? Just make one change—compliment others when you think they are good at something. I guarantee life will be different—much better.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression
Well looks like a misunderstanding resolved and a beautiful friendship built there. I think it makes for a lovely little tale that at the same time teaches us a wonderful little message.
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
Well this is an interesting start. Looks like someone is going through what appears to be a fairly difficult little hike in the wilderness and is currently a bit low on food.
Well looks like we're running into someone that Divya here really doesn't want anything to have to do with but it also seems at the same time she doesn't really get a whole lot of choice in the matter.
Well this is interesting, it seems maybe things aren't quite as they seem on the surface and on top of that a little moment of friendship perhaps with the offer to share that food. Quite a nice little start there!
Oooh looks like they both didn't quite estimate each other particularly well there and we're starting to see some unlikely connections starting to form here. Well this is quite a nice start.
Well that's a beautiful little message to wrap things up. I think it ties up the little bonding between them really well and conveys a lovely little note for us to take home as well.
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
Overall
Overall a powerful little tale of the value of being honest and how much you might not end up knowing about a person if you never take the time to properly get to know them. A powerful message there.
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate
Hello Divya!
This is DB! What a great narrative! You were able to express an important and relatable message to readers in a short story. I loved the application at the end talking about being honest. It reminds me of the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover".
As for some critiques, the first and second paragraph tend to have the same sentence starters. Your descriptive language is good, but constantly starting the sentence with "She" loses the value of the sentence. For example, instead of "She had taken time off from her busy schedule to spend some moments with herself. She knew something was wrong but couldn’t figure out what it was." you could say, "She had taken time off from her busy schedule to spend some moments with herself. Something was wrong, but she couldn't figure out what it was".
Of course, you are the author and the ultimate decider of your writings! You are a great story teller and connect to the reader.
Keep writing amazing author!
- DB
Thank you so much for the feedback. This was my first story, and I%u2019ll remember it for the next one.
Hello! Ley here to review this delightful work for you. Today, I’ll be using my 'Autumn-Themed Review Template'! We’ll begin with my initial impressions, then delve into the aspects that stood out like the vibrant hues of fall, and then get into the critiques. I hope you find this review insightful, and that you're enjoying the cozy charm of autumn, wherever you are in the world! Let’s dive in!
The First Signs of Autumn
I read through the short story, and I really do love the moral behind it. I clicked on this because the title intrigued me, and I started reading and was immediately hooked. Let's get into the actual specifics, though!
A Golden Harvest
I felt Divya's pain here. Sometimes, we just need to get away from our worries and enjoy what this wonderful planet has to offer. It's a sucky thing when others, especially from your job, find you someplace else. But, by the end of the story, she made a good friend. <3
I loved this <3 The fact that Meenakshi was opening up to Divya shows that they can relate more than Divya'd imagined. I do feel like it was a bit rushed, I would've liked a tad more dialogue between the both of them, despite the short time lapse of them sharing their insecurities. But, still, this part left me feeling fuzzy and warm.
I also really enjoyed these thought provoking questions at the end! These are some great questions, and I believe that it ends this story nicely. Wonderful job!
Wilted Leaves and Crisp Critiques
I have a critique, and it has to do with Divya's inner thoughts, like the one here:
I got a little confused here, because I thought Divya actually spoke this. Maybe try using italics, like this:
To me, this is a better visual.
Cozy Conclusion
Overall, this was a nice and cozy read. I hope to read more of your works in the future! Happy RevMo, have a lovely day!
Thank you so much for the review.