Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Well...this was a properly nightmarish prologue right here, definitely leaves you in a nice amount of suspense right there. It seems like a pretty solid one here at first glance.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Small faes shimmered around me, twirling and dancing around me, tugging me along a worn road. Walking gracefully across the leaf stirred road, I sing about a knight in shining armor coming to rescue the poor trapped princess. My feet came across a creepy ivy-destroyed path. I heard no faes in this new but so awfully terrible place I was brought to. Walking forward cautiously, I tripped, stumbling into a dark form. It loomed over me cackling, sending very bad chills down my back. Is this guy normal? I thought about that for a while. My thoughts were interrupted when a huge smack of pain rippled through my body. I cried out, feeling my blood pour down my back. This guy is so…so sick. He is laughing at my pain. I shuddered causing another wave of pain up my back.
Well...that was definitely a bit of a weird start right there...I do believe it is a bit hard to see exactly where this is attempting to go, but well it does manage to get your attention as reader. We have ourselves some really peaceful description which is then followed by a sudden attack? interruption? by this dude who appears to love causing pain for some reason...well it is interesting.
So Shimmer you came at last.”
Huh? What in the world is a Shimmer?
“Don’t play stupid on me Shimmer. You know of your powers. You are completely aware of them.”He screeched.
Okay...well so far this guy just reminds me of someone that's perhaps welcoming back a old enemy of theirs....and seems quite angry at the person who clearly seems to have no idea whatsoever of what is going on here....well, this is an interesting direction this is going in here.
He flicked his hand sending me flying through the air. Whoa wait a minute. He flicked his hand? He didn’t give me very long to register his hand for long when I was smacked into the wall. I heard an ear splitting screech. Looking around for its source, I realized it was me that screamed. My bones had broken when I landed on the ground. It was… me shrieking in agony. Yet this dream is not real is it? I mean it’s a nightmare right? I wasn’t so sure for this dream was so livid in my mind.
Oooh, well this appears to introduce a really interesting twist into things here, it looks like a) this is some sort of dream sequence or at least our main character either has reason to believe so or what they're experiencing is so out of the ordinary they assume its a dream and also b) this person also has some form of superpower and clearly things the other has some too..and doesn't seem to like this person all that much either...despite seeming to want the other person to acknowledge them somehow.
“So had enough pain yet Shimmer?”He sneered weirdly at me.
I tried to speak but I couldn’t. I was giving the display of a goldfish in a bowl. Open. Close. Open. Close. Aren’t you supposed to be able to talk in your own dream? Unless… is this dude alien? I mean he could be. He certainty acts like it. Great I thought, I’m being by kidnapped psycho freak.
Well...okay, interesting point to end on, looks almost like perhaps we've got ourselves a situation where this person is about to subjected to some further pain here, and is still confused by realizes at the last moment that this is maybe not really a dream which does make for a fairly chilling conclusion there. Definitely a good place to end a prologue at.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, this is an intriguing prologue that you've got here, it certainly seems like a pretty interesting premise here. Anyway, that's about all I've gotta say here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 254788
Reviews: 4107
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