Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,565 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Hello! Just a warning I have not read the first part. With that said, this was an interesting poem, I liked it! At first I really liked how the dialogue was in italics, but then the majority of the poem became dialogue, so I would recommend having less dialogue or making it a regular font because otherwise it's distracting. There are some grammar issues that need to be resolved but other than that this is a great poem! Hope to read more!
-picklesole
Hello~
So first of all, this would be better if this was made as a story. Its really good but i don't think this could be consider as a poem, on my opinion, because its very long. I think it would be better if you shorten it. I know that writing a poem is limitless, and there are a lot of writers who write long ass poems; but its rare to find a good one.
I suggest you summarize the scenery, like what really happen. Its better if you keep it simple and short.
Thank you