Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
I silently crept back into the classroom, and sat down at the back. Hopefully it wasn’t obvious that I had been gone. For, my seat is right at the back, by the door, so I can easily escape. But this time, I was desperate not to be noticed, for I would be in deep trouble if I was.
After, finishing the boring maths lesson, I headed on down to the great hall, where we had an emergency assembly taking place for all the girls. I didn’t really think much of it, for it was probably something to do with the dancing and acting thing that was due to take place next week.
So I sat down with all my friends and waited for the head to take her place and begin this long lecture about drama. But she didn’t. Instead, the nurse stood up, and walked to the front. She was angry. She started to speak. It was then that I realised that I was soon to be caught. I hadn’t really gotten away with it, during that maths lesson.
Well, this is already quite the rollercoaster. I love how you build up sort of the set up to this whole thing quite nicely and gradually here with the hint of tension just swirling up rather powerfully and dangerously in the background there. It really hits quite powerfully here when this sort of tension seems to be just about to break there and what looks to be this person's worst fears seem to be about to come true.
The nurse started to shout.
“It seems to me that someone has been locking the girls toilet doors”.
Everyone in the hall started to laugh. Anna whispered to me “I knew it was coming some day, I just knew something like this would happen”.
The nurse silenced us again, she hadn’t finished.
“This also means that whoever did, must have been climbing underneath the doors to get out. Is anyone going to stand up and own up? Or are we just going to have to find out another way?” she questioned.
OKayyy that seems like a pretty oddly specific thing to be doing, not to mention it doesn't seem to exactly serve any kind of purpose that I can see. So while this is building up to what feels like a pretty strong climax quite nicely here I'm also finding myself very much confused as to how this act is causing such a stir.
I held my breath. I didn’t know what to do. There was no way that I was going to own up to half the school.
“As no one seems to be willing to own up, I suppose I will have to ask who this pencil case belongs to, for it was found in one of the locked toilets?” she screamed.
Everyone looked at me. I was doomed. Everyone knew what my pencil case looked like. It was easy to spot. It also occurred to me that my name was written on it, so they knew all along that it was me.
“Will Harriett Lauter please come and collect her pencil case?” asked the head. I stood up, and everyone laughed. I was humiliated in front of the whole school.
Well that was certainly a rather powerful one there. We've definitely got a feeling of the kind of horror this person feels here. I think despite the slightly confusing setup the embarrassment in a universal enough concept that you sell powerfully enough that we really do feel it. I think tis a pretty solid payoff moment here and you go get some genuine empathy even despite the confusing means from earlier.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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