Goodbye my friend

i think this is really good
with some good editing and music it could be a good ballad type song

I was there,
to love you lots.
I’ve done my job,
so now its goodbye.

i think this is really good keep working

Hello, I've just read your lyrics and they're really good. I can easily put a rhythm to them in my head and it flows really well. Keep writing, Moonstar x

i'm really impressed that you did this on the spot.

You were there,
when I wanted.
but for now,
go your own way.

there is some negativity to it. it's like you've used that someone you're writing about.


I can’t hide,
the pain I caused.
pushing you away,
leading you astray.
I can't hide,
the pain I've caused.
so save that argument,
for another day.


and


I was there,
to love you lots.
I’ve done my job,
so now its goodbye

these two stanzas are contrasting each other. in the chorus you're saying that you've led the person you're writing about astray, and that you've caused her pain and stuff like that...

but in the second stanza, you've said that you were there loving her, but didn't that chorus say that you were hurting her?


"time to go,
leave you behind
in this world
my great friend. "

the words in this stanza are used by many already. try something new.

**anyway overall i think you're talented. i'm not a good writer myself, but i'm just expressing my ideas. hoped it helped a lot..

keep on writing. you rock.

--therese