Published October 29, 2010
If only you knew that I liked you.
If only the words that I had spoken,
was enough to make you care.
I wouldn't change a thing if you know me.
All I want is, to know that you do care.
I wish you were that person,
who wipes my tears away when I cry.
If only you were that person who loved me.
If only words can explain the way you look at me.
I wouldn't change a thing about you.
All I want you to know is,
that your special the way you are.
I wish you knew how wonderful you are to me.
If only the world would understands the both of us.
If only we weren't so far apart.
I wouldn't change anything if I could.
If only you could take away the pain I am feeling right now,
because your not here.
All I would want is, to never leave your side.
If only...... you can love me the way I love you.
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140,556 Literary Works • 673,434 Reviews
Hey. First off, I have to say that I thought that you thought of a really good theme for this poem. I thought that it started off really well, and that you put a lot of thought into what you were righting. I also think that the length didn't really matter.
The other thing I do have to say though, is that at the start I thought it was really good, and that it flowed well, but then at the end of the fist stanza, you lost the flow completely. I also thought that you say basically that same thing a few times, which could have been good with a different choice of words.
All in all, I think if you just looked over the piece again, then it could be a lot better. Keep writing.
I liked the poem's theme and the words used, but they seem a tad long. Perhaps if they were simply cut in half because I can't tell when it's supposed to rhyme again or not. I like it though, keep writing!