Young Writers Society

One crisp winter Saturday morning, the wind was certainly nipping at anyone's noses if they were to be unlucky enough to have to go out. I of course have no reason, as I am an antisocial person except for the few people I have let in. Sometimes I even wonder if they care at all. Oh well, I should be used to people not caring one bit as they do horrible things to me. Dammit, the memories are coming back. Fuck. Not this again. The memories pop up as nightmares, except I am not sleeping.

I see the gym of my 6th grade year, it was the place where my bulling was the worst. In this one its a day the lead person in the gang of bullies, I believe his name was Elijah Sanders, starts yelling insults at me with the whole class laughing. No one did anything to stop it. "Fat ass bitch." He said, and by now I believe it. He calls me this every other day, along with other things like "Slut", "Hoe", "Bitch", "Annoying", "Liar", "Ugly", "Gay", and "Fag". All everyone ever did is laugh, and then wonder why I screamed and ran behind the stage to try and escape it, of course it never worked. Some of the bystanders, the ones that want to look like they didn't do anything wrong would come and see if I was ok. Eventually the teacher would come back and force me to go back out there and participate in class. Where they would throw the dodge balls at me with full force in the face, even if I was already out. Or they would laugh at me as I tried to run as fast as I could. And no one would do anything about it, not even the ones whose job it was to make sure it stopped. 

Another one. I'm walking home on the first day at my new school my 7th grade year. This guy shows up when I am almost to my house, right near the park. He is on a bike, and is yelling at me. "Maybe if you didn't eat so much MC Donald's then you wouldn't be so fat." This makes me angry and I start to run after him. He starts to laugh at me, slowly running while he is pedaling on his bike away from me. "Maybe if you weren't a pussy you would come back." I yell to try and make myself better for what he has done. It didn't work and tears start to fall down my cheeks as I finish my walk home. After that, the guy only occasionally talked to me, and it was only "Give me back my Ds." whatever that meant.

I blink my eyes and look everywhere, trying to make them stop. Those aren't even the worst ones. The worst ones are traumatic events that happened because of my mom. I don't even want to think about them. 

My phone starts to ring, something very unusual. It is an unfamiliar number but I answer anyways, wanting to know how other people got my number.

"Hello? Who are you?"

"No matter who I am, who are you miss?" the person on the other end of the call said. The voice sounded masculine with an accent I could not detect over the line, maybe British?

"My name is Alex..."

"Well Alex, I heard from sources unspecified that..."

"If you don't tell me who you are then I will hang up right now." I interrupted him.

He stopped talking, but I knew he was still there. I could hear his breathing.

"Aren't you going to answer me?" I asked rudely.

Another pause from the man.

"Goodbye sir." I said and then immediately hung up.

In the corner of my eye, I see a colorful pamphlet slid under my door. This is starting to scare me, but I go and see what information is in the pamphlet anyways.

Do you have memories that you want to forget? Any tragic events that you wish never happened to you. Well if the answer is yes, call this number for more information. (765)- 635-1290.

So much for trying to get more information about the mysterious caller. I am debating whether to call the number  to possibly be able to get rid of some memories. There are dangers to it I know, but I think it would be worth it. I call the number and they said to meet at 9763 N. Aimstram St. at 10 am tomorrow.

*Time Skip*

I walk into the clinic if you could call it that. It had dark and dreary white walls that were turning grey. The floor was a sickening yellow green color. The chairs were hard and wooden. The person whose name tag read "Jess" behind the counter was not very happy to work here. 

"Hello? You must be Alex right?"

"Yes?"

"Come this way miss, the doctor is waiting."

I follow, shaking and maybe even whimpering a little. Walking into the room, I notice immediately that the temperature was very cold, almost as cold as it was outside. I hug myself, trying to keep warm. The doctor, well the man in the white doctor's coat, greets me and something seemed off about him. He seems as if he couldn't feel anything at all.

I sat down on the medical bed thing and half payed attention as he was explaining all the things that could go wrong. I really didn't care anymore. I just want the memories gone. I want to be able to trust my boyfriend Jake without always thinking he is lying to me or he is just using me for his own personal reasons.

"Now Alex?"

"Huh?"

"Are you ready for the procedure?"

"Yes, I want some of my memories gone."

"Ok, now I am going to hypnotize you. Is that alright?"

"Yes. Do whatever you have to get these memories gone."

"Now my voice is very soothing, making you fall more and more asleep with every word you hear."

I feel myself slipping off into a sleep. I don't want to sleep, but I can't stop myself. Eventually I slip off for who knows long.

I hear a snap of fingers and I jump up.

"What happened?"

"The procedure should have been a success. But make sure to come back if it was not."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you."

"No problem miss. And before you go, there may be a chance that you have gained access to a part of the mind that no one else can."

"Ok, whatever."

"Heed my warning. You may feel more pain later because of this."

"Whatever. Goodbye now."

I walk out of his office and out of the clinic back to my house. During the walk I ponder, trying to see if my memories of the bulling are gone. They aren't, I can still see them as if they were yesterday. But I am already almost home and it is getting a little late. I find when I open the door that Jake is already here.

"Surprise darling."

He pulls out a ring.

"Baby, you shouldn't have."

"Oh but I did. I love you. I promise never to leave." 

A sensation. I don't know how to describe it except its an out of body version of what I feel inside my head when I think anyone might be lying to me.

"Hey baby, did you feel that?" I ask.

"Feel what?"

He didn't feel anything. Maybe it's just me being paranoid.

"Never mind."

"Oh ok."

"Hey do you know when we started dating?"

"Of course I do. It is March 3"

That tingle again. And that is not when we started dating.

"That is not when we started dating."

"Yes it is."

The tingle. He is lying to me. Oh shit, the tingle means a lie. I start to cry, and he hugs me, trying to calm me down.

"Jake... What's happening? Everything is changing. Nothing is staying the same Jake. I'm scared." I cry in his shoulder.

"I love you, you know that right. I'm going to stay. I'm not going to change or leave you." 

Lies, all of it is lies. Why is he lying to me? What did I do wrong this time? What is making him lie? I get out of his arms.

"Baby, what's wrong? You know I love you."

"Don't lie to me. If you don't want to deal with the constant craziness and the emotion changes like a the flick of a switch I don't blame you."

"Why would I want to leave you baby?"

"Don't lie to me Jake. Please just don't lie to me anymore. I can't take it. Tell me the truth." 

"But I am telling the truth Alex. I'm not lying. I'm not like the people who used to torture you all those years ago, for as long as they did. I couldn't hurt you like that."

"No. You wouldn't, would you. You tortured me in a different way."

"How did I torture you?"

"You broke down my high walls, you were allowed inside my crazy world for so long, for all of these years. You got so close, made me actually feel something for you, made me fall in love with the fake facade that you came up with."

"Bab"

"Just for you to eventually go away and leave me for dead!" I interrupt.

"Alex, stop. I love you. I have loved you since the day we met. Why do you think I am lying about this?"

"Because for some reason I can detect lies now. I get this strange feeling when someone lies. So don't. Tell me the truth Jake."

"Baby, don't." 

"I may be the one walking away, but you were the one that left."

"Baby, please believe me." He pulls me back into a tight hug I cannot escape. "Oh fuck it. Believe whatever you want. I only got this close to you because I fell in love with you but go run away again."

"I'm not running away. I am walking."

"You will be back when you feel weak and powerless against your inner demons. I know you will."

"I'm not coming back Jake."

"And in all honesty I got this close to you to learn your weaknesses to give the information to your torturers."

"What the hell Jake."

"But once I learned what they did and how much you were damaged because of it, I made them stop. I made a mistake Alex. Don't we all. But don't forgive me."

"Exactly, I am not going to forgive you."

"Although I know you will eventually, you always do." 

"Let go of me Jake."

"Goodbye for now. I know you will be back Alex." He says as he lets me go.

"Not this time Jake, this is the last straw." I say as tears fall down my face, blurring my vision, making it even harder to run away from him, and his lies that made me believe in life and that no one would hurt me anymore.

The memories pour in my head again. I can't stop them. They are banging against my head, begging to cause some physical pain, as if mental scarring isn't enough. Thoughts, such bad thoughts are coming into my head. Thoughts of suicide. I've had these thoughts many times before but I never acted on them. That is because I've had a reason to live. I stayed alive because of Jake, but now he is gone from my life. I guess he will learn, everyone will learn. Because I will not ever be coming back. I'm going away. Forever. They will learn when they see me, well my corpse. Don't hurt people, they will do things you will never imagine. Goodbye cruel world, thanks for the horrible stay.