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Lone’s house was now off-limits since her parents got busted for candy grass parties.

"Not gonna lose another," she’d tell herself and I was reduced to glove wearing and cordial invitations.

We almost got caught once but managed to get away using the same roof tactic Eric did.

Just when I thought the recession of my individuality was at it worst, rescue came in the form of a 5”6 brunette.

her deserted one- story house, next to the red pickup she escaped in. She sat on the hood, bathing in the sun in ripped jean shorts and a koala tank.

“Oh I’ve missed you.” She slid off the car and grabbed my arm. Her lips were glossy and dark and her huge brown sunglasses glared from the sun. “Babe, come and meet my friends.” [s]She added[/s] She was bare foot standing on semi dead grass.

A 5”12 Boy Scout-looking cowboy exited the car, his boots clanking on the concrete.

and the same clueless expression was permanent.

Lone[s]’s[/s] looked around with her hands on her hips;

she put her sunglasses on her head and squirted twisting her body around the land.

It had only been three months

I accepted her ability to move on, just not her choice of moving from a potential Rock God to a down- home boy dumber than a bale of hay.

I can't wait to read it!!!!!!! Hey.....you sit across from me in class 4th period don't you?

The chapter is longer and another part cometh!!!!

but in two-and-a-half weeks she was in the back of a red pickup kissing some guy on the neck.

I wanted to be furious with, leaving the way she did.

Now that I look back I couldn't remember his face or smell, just the trail of hickeys and passion marks on my thighs and ankles.

smelling her clothes and lying with Rook in her bed. I'd put on her clothes and became her clone and Rook touched me more. I brushed my hair with her brush and washed with her soap. I was like some morph thing.

Robin wrote:I like how rawly written this is. It's pretty honest and to the point. I didn't see much wrong with it. Just one part you forgot to capitalize Rook and then there was an unnecessary comma...nothing big though. I assume there's more to this story since the length is subject to change and in that case good luck writing the rest

Well if you would have read the first part of the story then it would have made more sense but thanks for your comments and read the begining.

Hello There!
Is this an excerpt of some sort? Well I rather enjoyed it as the emotions were well brought out and the bits of imagery were refreshing.

The font made it rather hard too read. So change the font.

I can't say much about this piece as it was quite short.
Few things though:

Instead I hid at Lone’s, smelling her clothes and lying with rook in her bed.

I like how rawly written this is. It's pretty honest and to the point. I didn't see much wrong with it. Just one part you forgot to capitalize Rook and then there was an unnecessary comma...nothing big though. I assume there's more to this story since the length is subject to change and in that case good luck writing the rest