Published January 3, 2011
Just something I came up with in like 10 mins right now. Tell me whatcha think!
Hope you enjoy.
We are what we eat
Does it mean that
We eat what we are?
What if I ate a pear?
Would I be a pear?
Would I pretend to be a pear?
Would I be round
With smooth skin bound
Around my inner flesh, aged brown?
Would I live upon a tree
Atop a branch to see,
My fellow pears all free
Like a pear?
And what if what I ate
Were something like a phone
As far fetched it may seem
A phone is never alone
It always listens and may talk
It's always carried, never walks
Would I ring and quiver
Would I sing and shiver
Every time my name is called?
Would I open and close
And get my daily dose
Of my master's nose
Like a phone?
Do I need to eat
My own skin and meat
To be what I see myself to be?
Now there's a rumbling in my gut
I think I'll just give up
And go and eat some nuts.
Wait what?
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Thanks for the reply! I think you're right, so I added the AND.
Glad you liked it!
Ha ha! I love the ending! It quickly turned the poem from interrogative to comical. This saying has been used a lot and can get boring, so i like that you expanded on it and gave it a new feel.
This sentence just felt like a run-on to me, so I added a transition.
My favorite stanza!
Nice poem!