A Part Of Me

by danipower0204
  • May 9, 2012
  • Poetry
  • Dramatic
Let the trees burn,
And the sadness within my veins bubble out of my wounds,
So that the thought of your lips be washed away.
 
Let the feud betwixt my quest for joy and my inevitable suffering embrace me,
For my quest for joy is you,
And my suffering is you.
 
Let these words wipe away your eyes, nose and mouth,
Wipe the softness of your hair from my memory.
 
Let me live with the blood of peace,
So that my heart may pump the calmness of joy,
Invigorate me when you’re not here.
 
Let the pollution of your love destroy me,
Like a virus lethal,
The wetness of your lips the only antidote.
 
I wish these words would cure me,
But these are only words, after all,
And you a part of me.
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Cspr
Review
Cspr wrote a review · Fri May 11, 2012 2:06 pm

One word: Gorgeous.

Now, admittedly for the second time today, I'm going to have to be a "bad" reviewer. I can't say much more than I really liked this and I understood what was going on. I consider the latter particularly amazing, especially when the first is added. In general, with unpublished poetry I have a problem finding "pretty sounding" poetry that also is formatted correctly and it has a clear message.

I can tell someone is hurting, in love. It's a testament on how those two things aren't mutually exclusive. Most people seem to assume that "love" is a cure all, but it's not and the way you showed that was done well.

In general, I don't have anything left to add other than, weirdly, it seemed like the emotion flowed from the piece, rather than I noticed particular words. I assume that has to do with the fact it was technically formatted correctly, as far as I can tell, and the words were interesting and some bits catchy, but it was able to fade. The message was able to shine through.

Now, enough with my amazing ego-stroking/fan letter. Let me just say I'm glad you posted it and I hope you keep on with the poetry writing.

-Cas



You cannot understand and disagree.
— P. D. Ouspensky