Warmth,
The mood is warm
But I am not
I feel a breeze
Inside
I decide to ask
What do you want?
Love it says
Love at first sight
A subtle light
A starry night
The coolness fades
As memories wake up
Dreams take their place
I take a sip from my mug
Warm,
But not fully.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,014 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
i like this poem a lot. it feels like you are explaining love as a warm feeling inside of you. and just like all things it has its ups and downs. like how you said "i take a sip from my mug. warm, but not fully." i think this means that you have a love for someone deeply and with that love you feel warm feelings but sometimes it gets cold and isnt the way it used to be. anyway, keep up the good work! id love to hear more!
i like this poem a lot. it feels like you are explaining love as a warm feeling inside of you. and just like all things it has its ups and downs. like how you said "i take a sip from my mug. warm, but not fully." i think this means that you have a love for someone deeply and with that love you feel warm feelings but sometimes it gets cold and isnt the way it used to be. anyway, keep up the good work! id love to hear more!
Hello! Waffle here for a quick review. These are some deep coffee shop thoughts, dude! Lol.
"But i am not" capitalize the I.
The rhymes are good but I cannot say the same for the rhythm. It's a bit too jumpy.
As for the title: Lone. Lone what? I am guessing it's lone you? Clarify "Lone".
So, other than that I give it 7.5 out of 10. Great job and keep writing!
Waffle~
nice job on a great first start its a simple concept that has been transformed into something amazing. from what I read its about someone alone inside and out but meets someone who helps to make it disappear, easy to understand easy to read easy to love and that's awesome. I like a poem that can be interpreted in a hundred ways and this qualifies as one of these poem. its short sweet and easy that's my definition of a good poem and you must not I beg you must not quit this is amazing and see a career of an amazing poet shining on the horizon. good luck.