Hi! I'm Bubba, and I'm 8 years old. This is my poem.
~~~~~~~
A mighty wind
Stirs in the heart
Of the forest,
Indeed,
It was winter
In the wild wood.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Hello! I'm "Van" and I'll be reviewing.
So I really like what you've written here. It's quite simplistic in idea, and the simple language and setup mirrors that wonderfully.
The only thing I'd recommend doing is:
You essentially have two sentences here, so I'd just put a period at the end of the third line (the one ending in "forest") to make the punctuation make sense.
Thanks for posting, and keep up the good work!
Vanadis
Oh my God, you're eight?! WOW. I'm Kat, by the way! Nice meeting you.
So, I really liked this. Very simple, and for an eight year old, amazing. It has a very nice flow and the word choice gives a lot to its simplicity, which is something I really like in these kind of poems.
My advice? just keep writing. If you can do this when you're eight, you'll be amazing in the future
Drop me a PM if you ever need anything, and thanks for posting!
- Kat
Good job! I am very impressed at the quality of your poetry at such a young age. I think you should expand on this poem. Maybe talk about other things that could be occuring in the woods? Good job! Keep writing!
I enjoyed this. The imagery was really good; I could picture the scene you presented. Nothing was wrong with it, other than the present tense that changed to past tense. Other than that, I liked this poem a lot. Really good talent for an eight year old. When I was eight, I didn't even know how to write poetry. I love this work, thought, no matter age you are
Hi,
Welcome to YWS!I hope you like it here.
I really enjoyed this. It's a lovely idea, and it's laid out very well and moves nicely from beginning to end.You have a good sense of the sound of the poem, which is great. The only change I'd make is saying "is winter" instead of "was winter", as you've started out in the present tense.
Keep writing, and do send me a message if you ever need a review of your poetry.
Just to let you know, there's a rule here that you review three pieces for every piece of your own that you post.
Hope to read you again soon,
Jas