uncertainties
I do not know who I am.
(I do not know who I'll become)
or if I'll become anyone
for that matter.
I do not know if I will ever finish
anything worth finishing.
There are so many days, so many
missing days, so many days
filled with numbers and forgotten words.
I know black and white is easiest
to understand, so I apologize
for being grey.
I am not always like this,
forgetful and alone, but there are so many
questions and uncertainties
hidden in this page.
(Look beyond the words,
not between them.)
My soul is always out there
waiting, on the keys,
and you say I never talk
but you
never listen.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
It wasn't bad, but I felt it could use more imagery. It got better as it went along, though... the first stanza was like all theory and abstract words strung together, and it sounded kind of cliched. It didn't really pull me in. The last bit was better, but I still felt it needed something more concrete.
I wasn't digging the first stanza too much. Maybe it was the parentheses that threw me off? Or the over-repetition of "days" and "I do not know"?
I absolutely loved the other three stanzas, except I don't think you need a comma in "waiting, on..."
Keep writing!
Every other line was supposed to be indented. X( it didn't come out, and it seems a bit choppy now. w/e. tell me what you think.