Just Standing

by cuco9999

Published March 1, 2010

I stand here
Microphone in my hand
I see everyone looking at me curiously
My worst enemy snicker's rudely
Followed by the teachers dirty looks
I take a deep breath
Nervous as a soldier about to fight
I don't care what they think
I'm giving my speech to the school
I see them staring now
I open my mouth and decide to give my speech

Comments & reviews · 6
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Bryr Review
Bryr wrote a review Review · Mar 1, 2010

I don't like the use of the metaphor 'nervous as a soldier about to fight' I think it's overkill. I would use something like 'nervous as a matador about to fight' which would be funnier, and would feel more like you were going to win. soldiers never win.

defendthelegend wrote a review Review · Mar 1, 2010

wow

what an original idea. I write poetry, but this is one of the first times I have come across something like this. People tend to write less of these poems now a days :/ It is nice to see that some people still write them XD

I agree with the others though it needs to be a bit longer, and especially between the last two lines to make it flow better XD

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MiaParamore
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MiaParamore commented Comment · Mar 1, 2010

Thank you cuco.

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cuco9999 Comment
cuco9999 commented Comment · Mar 1, 2010

Just write about a moment and how you are truelly feeling use some metaohors and simile's put it in versus then you have a poem I made this in 5 min

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MiaParamore
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MiaParamore commented Comment · Mar 1, 2010

Zets is right but cuco you are truly talented. Nice poem and keep it up. Poetry is one department that I am weak in. Can u help?????

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Zetsubougakusei Comment
Zetsubougakusei commented Comment · Mar 1, 2010

Maybe you can add a few more lines about your nervousness?
You know, to describe it a little more.
Other than that its really good!



In a world too often governed by corruption and arrogance, it can be difficult to stay true to one's literary and philosophical principles.
— Lemony Snicket