Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
*This story is underneath my folder titled “The Parrish family”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1470. Enjoy!*
Introduction
Lucille Lysander had a sparkle in her sand-colored eyes, and honey in her voice. She was a sweet girl, a loving girl.
At least, that was what her parents thought all their lives, before their tragic, bloody, mysterious deaths.
Poor Lucille, orphaned at the age of fourteen. Whatever would she do? Where would she go?
She had no place in the world…
Chapter One
Lucille watched the houses go by as the train chugged on. Some of them had families going back home after a trip. They all had grins on their faces and seemed to speak kindly to each other.
A girl your age should WORK! There is no time to sing, no time for joy!
Lucille shook herself out of her thoughts. The words of Mom meant nothing. She was gone. Lucille was on the train, on her way to a new life.
Everything would be okay.
Chapter Two
FLASHBACK
“Lucille, would you QUIT that racket?!” Mom screeched.
Lucille flinched at her words, but ignored them. Mom couldn’t come upstairs, she was in her room. Lucille could sing all she wanted, it was her right.
Footsteps grew louder on the stairs. Lucille continued her sweet song, letting the melody fill the room.
“LUCILLE-“
Mom stopped her words. She stood next to the ajar door, watching Lucille with sorrowful eyes.
“Lucille, no…not that song…no…girls are supposed to work…” Mom trailed off softly. She stood stoically at the door, hands slightly shaking.
What made her so tense?
“But I don’t need to work.” Lucille replied calmly.
Chapter Three
The train’s engine broke Lucille out of her memories. What lay in front of her window was a train station, again, filled with eager families that cared for each other.
She grabbed the brown leather suitcase that sat next to her and made her way out of the train.
A life in New York would perhaps be nice. Lucille thought as she stepped into the grimed, industrialized Earth.
Chapter Four
Lucille walked down the sidewalk, searching for a place, any place, to stay.
One flier taped to a lamppost caught her eye. It was gold, with red, swirling letters, big enough for anyone to see. Crimson curtains adorned the border of the flier, which read as followed:
“CARVER CIRCUS IN NEED OF PERFORMERS!
SINGERS, ACROBATS, JOKERS, FREAKS, ANIMAL TAMERS! ALL ARE WELCOME, AT ANY AGE!
CARVER CIRCUS IS CALLING YOU!”
At the bottom of the flier was an address of where to go.
Lucille grinned, sand brown eyes sparkling with joy.
Chapter Five
After much walking, she had made it. With the flier clenched in one hand and the suitcase in the other, Lucille had made it.
She made it to Carver Circus, with its striped tents and flying flags.
It was calling for her.
Chapter Six
Lucille walked throughout the circus, watching the many colorful clowns and bedazzled performers practice their magnificent tricks.
They’re all a family. I could be PART of this family!
“Halt, wanderer!”
Chapter Seven
Lucille turned around to face the owner of the voice.
Standing right behind her was a young man in a sparkling black suit and matching top hat, with black hair curling over his dark face. He held a tall cane with one white gloved hand.
“Tis’ I, Santiago Carver, the man of the hour! And you?” The man asked.
Santiago Carver…he’s the ringmaster…he’s the leader!
“I’m Lucille. I want to sing in your circus, if you’ll have me.” Lucille said. She knew not to expect things, but it was good to try.
“Well then! Right this way! Let me hear your beautiful, tinkling voice!” Mr. Carver said, pointing to the way with his cane.
Lucille smiled and went in the direction he pointed.
Chapter Eight
“So, what can you do?” Mr. Carver asked. They were both in the tent, sitting on soft, floral-print armchairs.
“I can sing.” Lucille said.
“Sing me a song!” Mr. Carver said, gesturing with a hand for her to go on.
Lucille took a deep breath and sang the words that Mom didn’t want to hear, the very words that she sung to Lucille ever since she was a child:
“I work throughout the days
Waiting for the one who will take me
Is true love still around?
Is there magic to be had?
Call me selfish, but I still want you
Take me to a faraway place
I’ll wait patiently for your arrival
My prince, my monster, my dear, my fear
No matter what you are
My heart only belongs to you”
Mr. Carver didn’t reply. He tapped his mouth with his finger, thinking deeply.
Will he let me in? I hope that he lets me in, I can’t spend another night outside. Lucille thought worriedly.
“Tis’ the most wonderful thing my ears have ever heard…enjoy your time here, Lucille.” Mr. Carver said.
Lucille grinned, sand-brown eyes full of joy.
He let me in! I’m going to SING!
Chapter Nine
FLASHBACK
Simone sat on Lucille’s bed, watching with bright eyes as she sang. She tried to sing with her, but her voice cracked often, so she just watched.
“You can sing too, you know. You don’t have to sound good, you just have to have fun.” Lucille said once she finished.
Simone shook her blond head vigorously.
“No, I want to watch.” She said.
“Alright. You can join me if you change your mind.” Lucille said with a smile.
Chapter Ten
Mr. Carver said that Lucille would start singing the next day. In the meantime, she could spend the night in the circus, since she had no place to go.
Lucille walked to the tent she was supposed to sleep in, her heart lighter than it was before. She had a home. She belonged somewhere. She was important. She-
Who were those two girls with smiles on their faces, watching the show?
Chapter Eleven
Lucille ran up to them. She might as well talk to people that were happier than her, so she would be able to smile.
Perhaps she might be able to take the happiness of the girls as her own…
Chapter Twelve
“Hello! How are you?” Lucille asked once she was next to them.
The girls turned to face Lucille. Everyone around them was watching a performance that she did not card to see.
“Are you talking to us?” The older girl asked.
“Well, yes.” Lucille said.
Her parents used to say that she needed to be direct when she was talking to people, because sometimes, they didn’t know that she was talking to them.
It was one of those times again.
“Oh! Well, we’re great! We’re just watching our Dad perform!” The girl said brightly.
“Your Dad?” Lucille asked. The circus performers seemed like dolls, she never imagined they would have lives of their own.
“Yes! He’s the clown! You can watch with us, if you want.” The girl said.
“Sure. I’d love to.” Lucille said.
Their Dad was still alive. Their Dad performed at a circus. He had time for fun, but hers didn’t.
They should be lucky.
“Pardon me! I forgot to ask you what your name was.” The girl said.
“It’s Lucille. Yours?”
“I’m Desmaire and this is my little sister, Helen.” Desmaire said.
Helen cheered with the audience, too captivated by what was in front of her to hear their words.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Desmaire said with a grin.
“You too.” Lucille said.
Just like Simone, Helen had a sparkle in her eyes.
Chapter Thirteen
After the show had ended, Desmaire and Helen ran up to the clown, grinning and laughing as he spoke with them. Lucille turned around, about to walk away, but Desmaire called out:
“Lucille! Come over here!”
Lucille ran towards her, a question in her mind. Why would Desmaire call her over?
“Dad says that you can stay with us if it’s okay with your parents.” Desmaire said once they were face to face.
“Yes! It’s fine with them.” Lucille said happily.
No need for them to know the truth. She could have a family for once, joy with her for once.
Chapter Fourteen
FLASHBACK
Lucille, Simone, and Mom were at the dinner table, eating their food. Dad’s chair was empty, just like the other nights.
“Why doesn’t Dad eat with us?” Simone asked.
“Dad’s at work. We have to work to do things, you know.” Mom said.
“I don’t like it.” Simone said sadly.
“That’s life.” Mom replied.
Lucille stabbed her fork into the bowl of spaghetti. Nothing went right. The only one who stayed and listened was Simone.
Lucille had to change things.
Chapter Fifteen
Lucille was at the dinner table with Desmaire, Helen, Frederick and Lilac. Lilac looked at her like a mother would at her own child, Helen and Desmaire treated her as a sister. The food was warm and delicious, but it did nothing for her aching soul.
Frederick, the clown, without all his makeup, without his costume, was just another man. His brown eyes held distrust, his brown eyes held fear.
Could he possibly know?
Chapter Sixteen
After dinner and cleaning herself up, Lucille followed Desmaire upstairs, to her room.
“Me and Helen sleep in the same room! Sometimes she bothers me, but other than that, we have fun. You’re going to love it here.” Desmaire said.
Just like me and Simone. Lucille thought grimly as she went up the stairs.
Chapter Seventeen
FLASHBACK
Why did Dad have to leave for work? Why was Mom always so upset, always demanding that she “work like a real lady” and toil away at cleaning?
Lucille walked down the hall with a knife in her hand. She was supposed to be asleep, but she couldn’t sleep.
Not when they didn’t love her.
Chapter Eighteen
Every day after meeting them for the first time was the same. Lucille would sing at the circus, she slept at the circus. Everyone loved her voice, her song.
But Frederick would glare at her, in fact, he hated her. They loved her more than him, they thought that she was a “sensation”.
Desmaire would go on and on about how “fantastic” her life was, as if it were the only thing that mattered.
Lucille tried, but in the end, what did being good ever do in the long run?
Chapter Nineteen
FLASHBACK
Lucille opened the door of her parents’ room gently. She didn’t want to wake them up, not yet.
She crept slowly to their bed, clutching the knife ever so tightly in her hand.
Lucille raised the knife above Dad and plunged it into his body, blood spurting in the room.
Mom woke up, screaming, but Lucille wouldn’t let her run. She crawled on the bed and stabbed Mom in the chest before she could scream again. Lucille would have to take care of her mouth later…
“Lucille?” A small voice asked.
She turned her head towards the sound.
No…no…Simone couldn’t see…couldn’t see…she was a bad little girl…bad…bad little girl…
Lucille had to help Simone sleep.
Chapter Twenty
“And then, we all went out to the bakery to get Halloween treats! Dad and the other performers paid for everything, it was amazing!” Desmaire said.
It was another day of visiting the family. Desmaire was telling Lucille the story of “last Halloween” when Lilac had taken Desmaire and Helen to see Frederick perform and how afterwards, Frederick took his family and the other performers to the bakery for Halloween pastries. Desmaire was “too old” for Trick-or-Treating and Helen didn’t like the candy that the neighbors gave out, so they all spent Halloween together.
Isn’t that just wonderful? You’re just one big, happy family. Lucille thought bitterly.
Frederick was out performing. Lucille and Desmaire were in the living room on the couch. Helen was upstairs, playing in her room, and Lilac was reading a book in the study. They were all separated, all far from each other. Lucille knew where the kitchen was. She knew where the knives were stored. The three of them trusted her very well, even though they never heard about her personal life.
She just had to grab the knife.
Epilogue
A shame that Lilac, Desmaire, and Helen were all killed. An even greater shame that Frederick was found not only guilty, but insane, for he blamed young Lucille for the crime. He was sentenced to death, because how could such a man live?
Lucille gave them her pain, but that didn’t mean her own past wasn’t still around to haunt her.
Did it really solve anything?
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Haiiii :3
I think this is the last review I'll be able to get in this Review Day >.<
First of all, I really like how singing is both beautiful and sinister here. At first, it feels like her escape from her mother’s harshness, but then the flashbacks make it feel almost cursed, like the song is tied to fantasy, resentment, and the desire to be rescued by something monstrous ~~ The lyrics are especially strong because it captures Lucille’s whole emotional mindset: love and danger are tangled together.
:eyes: Love this one in particular!!
The slow reveal of what happened to her family is effective, too!! Lucille’s thoughts are simple and childlike in places, but that makes the violence more unsettling ~~ She wants joy, family, attention, and softness, but when she sees other people having those things, it becomes unbearable. That line where she thinks she might “take the happiness of the girls as her own” is so interesting in the best way because it sounds almost magical at first, but it’s actually a warning sign.
Frederick is cool as well!! I love that he’s the only one who seems suspicious of her. The fact that he is a clown makes the situation even more twisted: the performer associated with laughter is the one person who sees the horror clearly, and then he gets blamed for it. That ending is mean!! In a good way. It feels like a cruel little fable where innocence is weaponized and no one believes the adult who recognizes the danger.
^^^ My biggest critique is that the chapter structure gives the story a nice rhythm, but the emotional transitions could be lingered on a little more. Lucille moves from wanting the circus family to resenting them very quickly, and while that makes sense for her instability, I think one or two more moments of her feeling excluded or watching Frederick distrust her would make the final turn make sense. Right now, I don't feel enough suspense!!
Oh no!!
I think Simone is one of the most haunting parts of the story, even though she appears briefly. The moment where Lucille decides she has to help her sleep is genuinely chilling ~~ I wanted Simone’s absence to echo a bit more in the circus family scenes, especially through Helen, since you already draw that parallel with the sparkle in her eyes. That connection is really strong and could be pushed even further!! Like, why does she matter in the story?
Really haunting work, as always!! ^_^
- Payton
Thx!!
Hello! Ley here for a review
Today, I will be using my Summer Themed Review Template! I hope you find this review helpful, let's get into it! (I know it's not quite summer yet, but... I'm feeling the heat where I am. So. XD)
A Warm Welcome
I usually love reading your origin stories, but I've never heard of this original character of yours, so I had to check it out! I applaud you for putting so much thought into all of your characters' backgrounds and actually following through with writing the origin stories for them. I knew this one wouldn't dissapoint! Personally, the opening snippet/chapter about Lucille really drew me in -- I wanted to immediately know more about her! My main question was: what happened to her after she was orphaned?
I also wanted to applaud you on the 'voice' in this. You've gotten amazing at implementing an eerie-uncomfy vibe with the narrator's voice-- which really adds to the whole effect! It kept me intrigued while reading, and in all, I never really got bored. Now, let's get into the actual nitty-gritty stuff! What I liked, and what could be improved (in my opinion :] as always, take what is helpful and leave the rest~)
Sunny Moments
LOVE this little addition in-between the dialogue of Lucille, Helen, and Desmaire. I'm sure this was your intention, but it helped me understand Lucille a bit more. It seems like she can be erratic but always follows her dreams, while also having some issues communicating with others. Love this depth in her character -- amazing job!
Again, a wonderful addition in this chapter. It made me even more curious about Lucille's father and what happened to him. We've touched a bit on her mom in the previous chapters, but not much on her father. This was a nice little reminder that she did have a father. I also found it extremely interesting that much of what happens to Lucille in these chapters prompts her to reflect often on her parents. They must have been important to her, regardless of her mom's doubts regarding her singing gift. I personally loved this chapter so much because it tells us so much more about Lucille without actually telling us, if that makes sense. For example:
I mentioned below that I wished I had more information on Simone, and this was a perfect way to do it after the fact. I love how you sprinkled this information about her eyes (and how they're similar to Helen's) at the very end of the chapter to leave us readers with a feeling of mystery and suspense. What is so important about her eyes? Is there an underlying theme? Where is Simone now?
Heat and Haze
I do have a few suggestions! As someone who has never read about Lucille before/isn't very familiar with her story as a whole, I was a bit confused when Simone came into the picture. In chapter nine's flashback-- Simone is just sitting on Lucille's bed, but who is she to Lucille? I got the impression as I kept reading that she's Lucille's sister/family member, but... I don't know. It just seemed a little random? When I was reading the flashback, I actually scrolled back up to see if I was missing something -- so I'd recommend expanding on who Simone is to Lucille in the first paragraph of that flashback, or even spending a little more time on that chapter to inform the reader.
I feel like this was forced and sudden. I was really confused. I didn't know where those negative thoughts had come from or how killing her parents would solve anything, and once again I had to scroll up to see if I missed anything
Overall Vibes
Overall, the concept is amazing! I also really did enjoy the flashbacks every few chapters, as that gave me most of the background and explained why Lucille is the way she is. I just wish I had more understanding of why she was making these decisions and her overall thought process. Maybe I'll learn more about that the more I read about her in any future stories! She's very unique, and you could do so much with her story.
Thx for reading and the review!!
Thx for reading and the review!!