12+ Violence

Girlhood and Goblins

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*In the spirit of Valoween, I am posting this song/poem based off the 1986 movie “Labyrinth”. This is underneath my folder titled “Labyrinth 1986 fanfics”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=1155. Oh and the last two words is actually the title of a song from the movie, except “her” is “you” in the actual song. There are other references to the movie in the song too. Anyway…enjoy!*

Sarah’s a girl all caught up in her dreams

Just a girl who wants to feel seen

So many rules and so many responsibilities

Why does joy have to end so suddenly?

That screaming baby won’t keep his mouth shut

He’s her little brother and she has to take care of him like a mother

Oh, why can’t she live a fantasy?

Dance with creatures that rip off their heads

Fall through a twisting hole of helping hands

In a labyrinth that isn’t really a labyrinth

Friends with a coward whose got heart

Leading a scared beast to safety

And fighting alongside a noble-spirited fox

That could all be hers

If she just let the Goblin King keep him

The Goblin King of the labyrinth

With his magic crystals of many promises

And his most lavish balls of many masks

The peril and the pretty

The agony of freedom

Horror and happiness

All of it, just for human, mortal Sarah

Sarah, still holding fast to her childlike hopes

Reaching towards a brother she never really wanted gone

And oh, how her heart yearns for all that glorious adventure!

Who wouldn’t want to sink into the Goblin King’s arms?

Tall, blond, and dashing, he’s almost like a Prince

But he can be cruel

Just as he can be kind

And he does not know what real love is

Try as he might

He’s moved the cosmos and raised Hell

He’s made it hard enough to hurt

But easy enough to go on

He made a glittering ball of masks and mayhem

Again, all of it for Sarah

No one else but Sarah

He became her Dark Prince

And although she loves it so

She loves her brother more

To leave him in that wonderfully strange world

It’d break her heart more than anything on Earth ever could

Because while growing up has not the mystique of a fairytale

It has the magic of the mundane

The Goblin King’s a soft and seductive fantasy

But his love will never be as real as her family

And at the end of the day


He has no power over her

Her dreams were always hers

She can have her desires without leaving her loved ones behind

Everything she’s ever wanted

Was home this whole time

The Goblin King must retreat back to her mind

His immortal heart broken

But memories of her will never be a blur

Because he’ll keep watch of her with his crystals

Within her

Comments & reviews · 3
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WAAHHHH HI THERE IM REVIEWING THIS NOW!!

WAHHH I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH EEEE

I SHOULD PROBABLY TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK TO BE HONEST

okay I love this. Though this might not actually be a review because I was going to review and then I decided I don't have the brain power but I love this so much like actually. So yess.




ANYWAY my brain is in overdrive at this point, love the poem, i'm gonna sleep now byeeee


--Eli

Hiya creeperfeverdreams!!

Back at it AGAIN!!!! Hop here with a review!! This is like your third notification from me!!! Are you sick of my username yet, lol? Anyway, AGAIN I'M EXCITED TO READ THIS BECAUSE IT'S A POEM!!!!! So what are we waiting for??? Let's jump right in!!!!!!

OMG WAIT A GOD DARN MINUTE I'M LITERALLY SO THANKFUL YOU JUST MADE ME FIND A MOVIE I'D BEEN TRYING TO FIND FOR THREE YEARS THAT I WATCHED AND ENJOYED WHEN I WAS LITTLE. NO JOKE I WAS LOOKING EVERWHERE FOR THIS MOVIE AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS CALLED. I'M LITERALLY IN YOUR DEBT HOLY CRAP.

SORRY. ANYWAYS LETS CONTINUE.

This poem also just got like 10x better since i know the context for it. I really do think this just is a genuinely good reflection of the movie. You just portray it so well!!!

I was going to do a longer review but now i'm too excited ToT

Sorry TToTT

Have a good day/night!!

Love,
Hop

lol I%u2019m glad I could help you find a beloved movie. <3 Labyrinth is very cool. ^v^

Thx for reading!

User avatar
CrimsonTears
Review

Hello hello! It is I, CrimsonTears (or Crim for short)! I am here to read and review this amazing piece! Typically, I read and review as I go and so as usual, that is also how I will review your work here! Let’s dig in, shall we!

As always, I like to start with the title and genre the writer has chosen.

Girlhood and Goblins is such a fascinating title! And the fact that this is a genre of Fanfiction/Supernatural makes me even more interested in reading this! And might I add, Labyrinth is one of my favorite classic movies, so bonus points for that (and I don’t typically read much poetry so this should make you very happy!)

Anyways, moving on into the actual review here…

Sarah’s a girl all caught up in her dreams
Just a girl who wants to feel seen


I like this a lot because for those who have watched the movie I have heard a lot that people don’t think Sarah is portrayed as a girl well enough and instead a older yet younger young woman. But in all reality, she really is just a girl and really does just want to be seen even though in the movie at first it is instead portrayed that she is just selfish and doesn’t want any responsibility up until you see her bedroom and notice how much of a free imagination she has and just wants to enjoy her own world.

Dance with creatures that rip off their heads
Fall through a twisting hole of helping hands


This I think is also written very well because once again the first impressions of Sarah are proven to be incorrect in the movie as yes it seems Sarah’s imagination is innocent enough but it actually is quite vast and very detailed like this.

The peril and the pretty
The agony of freedom
Horror and happiness
All of it, just for human, mortal Sarah


This is beautifully written and I believe accurately sums up the desires the Goblin King tried to present to Sarah. You also write this in a way that doesn’t give spoilers but seems to describe everything. Very well written!

He became her Dark Prince


I really like this line too because it just shows even more to how young Sarah really is and how innocent her mind is in the story. The Goblin King in the movie (though I’m not sure about the actual book itself) is a man and yet how he is presented to Sarah makes her so fascinated of him. Whenever she looks at him she is obviously intrigued, but also on a mission to save her brother so pushes those feelings away so I think “Dark Prince” is the most accurate way to describe the person he was to her.

The Goblin King must retreat back to her mind
His immortal heart broken


I’ve told this to quite a few people and I’ll say it here too. Every time I watch the movie I catch a new detail or observe a new thought and reading your poem made yet another thought come to my mind! The movie portrays her imagination so well that it seems she is teleported into another world altogether and not instead a dream or a moment of daydreaming. But in all reality, none of what she saw or experience was real at all and truthfully was all in her mind something the directors of the movie did very well to show. Viewers get so caught up in the story that they forget this isn’t a real world she was sucked into and rather she created. Your poem lines her beautifully show this true from the movie and I like this detail very much as it’s not something I have thought about until you mentioned it!

Some critiques I have is…
1. Though I love the entire poem, I feel like the last line of the poem leaves it unfinished. The poem got so much detail but the last line ”Within her” seems like it could be missing something to make it complete like the other lines.

2. The title is "Girlhood and Goblins". While I believe the girlhood part of the title is presented thoroughly, I feel like the Goblins part doesn't hit as on point as the first part.

But now for the highlights!
1. I don’t think it needs to be said, but I’ll say it anyway in case it wasn’t obvious, lol! I LOVE THIS POEM. Again, I am not one who delves into poetry very often but you had me all the way. I love how you provoked thoughts and emotions from how beautifully this was written!

I wonder how it hasn’t gotten more attention that it 100 percent deserves!

Overall this was a great read and I hope to read more of your writing soon! Especially fanfictions!

Have an amazing rest of your day/night!
Crim signing out!



The most important service rendered by the press and the magazines is that of educating people to approach printed matter with distrust.
— Samuel Butler