It's so easy to get lost
inside a labyrinth of days.
With no clear roads to go by, you'll get lost
inside a cloud of haze.
Wishing on the inside for a sign to tell you
where you need to go,
walking by a river where the salty water
always seems to flow.
And on the inside, your heart strains to find a map,
a scribbled indicator to tell you where you're at.
Oh, you're just a wanderer
walking down abandoned gravel roads.
Where the path begins and ends,
you never seem to know.
And as the days roll by, you wonder why
it matters anyway.
Content to listen to the wind,
inside you know you're gonna be okay.
You had the wrong perception of the way
that you thought things should be.
And as your life progressed, you discovered
you just needed to be free.
All the little things you thought were so important start to fade
as you listen to the river from the shadow of a rustling tree's shade.
Slowly your mind loses grip on the notions of lost maps.
Names of streets don't matter if you understand that
There's music in this world that you can only hear if you're listening.
And as your life slows down, you realize what you were missing.
The vibrant hues of colors that you didn't see when life was rushing by
are crystal clear as you lay in the grass, staring at the sky.
Whoa, nice piece. Personally, i like the last stanza because sometimes we don't notice the small things since we're always or most of the time focused on other stuffs. But when we take even a short break we'll see the beauty around us which our Creator made,..
=)
Hi, Creative!
Your song is very pretty! You have a lot of really well-done imagery. It's so pretty, and you paint the picture very well! I can see it very clearly. It just blew me away!
I really like how you opened the song. We jump right into what the title refers to, and that sets up the rest of the song to explain the point of it. It's an awesome setup! The bold part I wasn't quite sure about. This is really, like. stretching it, I know. But when I think of being lost in nature, the first thing I'd do is find water. Where there is water, there's people. So the line didn't quite fit, in my opinion. Could just be me. xD
So when I write songs, and I get stuck, there are a few default lines I use. One of them is "I love you." Another one is "I don't know," and I think you fell into that trap here. xD It's such an easy rhyme to use, but it's used so often, you gotta make it count if you want to really use it. So the bold part didn't make sense to me where it was! When you're on a random path, you don't know where it begins and ends unless you were at the beginning or at the end. For instance, there's a bike trail near my house? I don't know where it starts though because I can just hope onto the trail from my house. I don't know where it ends either. It's just there, so there's really no way of finding the beginning or end unless I traveled the whole path!
Then the italicized part was just another default line, it felt like. Though honestly, I feel like this also encompasses what the song is trying to say, in which case, I'd like to see a little more meat of the song build off of this line. It's alluding to a story/situation I'd like to get a better feel for!
The first line here was really awesome. xD Seriously, it was well-worded. So cool. The second one got a bit awkward for me to read. And actually, the most nitpickiest thing ever is that the speaker was walking. Not sure when they were standing/sitting. It's honestly probably nothing to worry about though. xD
This was extremely pretty. Like... *really* pretty. I loved it. So, so good. I just have one request-ish suggestion-type thing, and that is to allude to the music bit more in the song (which sounds weird out of context... music/song. anyway.)
But that's all the suggestion I have. YOu seriously have fantastic imagery though. I wish I could paint such a beautiful picture. Very well done, and I hope I get to see more from you!
Keep writing!
Jabber, the One and Only!
As a fellow passionate lyricist, i'd be happy to share an opinion
A minor suggestion would be to remove the "The" before Salty Water, it would shorten the sentence, which is essential with lyrics, I think it would better the flow as wellFirst of all, I loved the flow, I felt like I was walking along side this protagonist down his life path.
I did think it could have been a tad more varied, when it comes to acoustic songs, the lyrics need to suit the musical portait, however, I found the fourth stanza a little predictable, nothing major, but still noticable, that's not your fault, it is easy to do this with lyrics, but you will BLOW people away by making up lines no one else could possibly think up.
I'm not really one to judge lyrics (I'm a short-story and novel writer) but this seemed pretty good! I judged it from a poem-standard, because I know a little about poetry, and I thought it was pretty neat. I did have to look up the meaning of 'labyrinth', but it's nice to learn new words. Good writing. Keep it up. :)