Published January 19, 2007
Nails piercing my brain
Glass shattering around me
Metal crunching, smashing together
Crying all around me
Screeching, Screaming
Howling, Wailing, Weeping
It seems like a hundred years have passed
Just when you are about to blow a gasket
The baby falls asleep
We shut off the phone
Take off our shoes
We talk in sign language
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,590 Literary Works • 673,544 Reviews
This member has already been banned for plagiarism.
Yeah, read lots of poetry... but don't copy it. I'm pretty sure I've read this before. It's fine to imitate poetic styles, but it's just plain sick when someone wants to pass off someone else's work for their own. Why?
Travis Wilkins-Smith wrote this when he was 12 years old; it was originally entitled "Asleep At Last" and was published in Stone Soup, March/April 2003.
What Claudette said, read LOTS of poetry. This just seemed kind of pointless, and way too violent. I mean, violence is okay when used in moderation and with a point. I have no idea what you're trying to say here, it just sounds like you're trying to be shocking and it's coming off rather badly.
First off, go read this, Poetry & Punctuation.
I assume this is poetry, right? Though its in the "Other" section?
It doesn't really make much sense. Until the end, then it gets weird with "We talk in sign language."
Yeah, if you are a beginner poet, my suggestion is for you to read poetry. Read lot of poetry. Lots, and lots, and lots.