This is the story of the love between two people. He met his death two years ago. He was flying back home, as any man in love would. His plane had an unnoticed malfunction. They were too far over the ocean before the problem was detected. No place to land, no hope for survival.
The plane crashed only thirteen days before the big day. Emails were sent out, guests were notified, food orders were cancelled, the dresses were returned.
The only things that could not be refunded or sent back was the cake and flower arrangements.
The cake was discarded on the balcony, picked apart by the birds. Twenty dozen cream-colored roses withered in their apartment- disregarded and abandoned.
Only now it was her apartment.
It all sounds like a bad dream to an outsider looking in this tragic occurence. There was once a happier time- a time she desperately longed for- and still does.
But nightmares exist in our past just as they do in our present.
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140,172 Literary Works • 673,034 Reviews
I edited it, you guys, tried to add a little suspense!
Please let me know your current comments on it!
This premise is somewhat bland. You need to give the reader a reason to continue reading. Right now, her fiance died and she was left alone. Although that could become a great story, you need to spice it up. Give the reader a layer of uncertainty. Besides that, I hope that you continue writing and turn this into a wonder story. Keep me posted. Happy Writing!
Nice, I would like to find out what happens next. Great descriptions on how things change do to the crash.
This is a really great start. You have a very nice writing style. I can't I'm "hooked" yet, so since this is the preface you could try to add a sense of mysteriousness that really draws the reader in.
Maybe give some clues about what will happen next, a cliffhanger of sorts. I'm also kind of confused about the "______" in the second paragraph. What does that mean, exactly? Forgive me if I just totally overlooked something.
Very great job! I can't wait to read more.
Snow- the _____ was just a blank because for the moment I haven't decided what the destination will be. Thanks for the support and advice! Do you have any ideas of how I could incorporate a cliff hanger?