Reveal A Character

Actions- He's in his own world when he sketches. He blocks out everything else and focuses on just the sketches. He's trained himself to do it; it's one of his best traits. His hand moves swiftly over the pages as he continues to expand his mind. It's his way to relax as he forgets about everything else. His calls for him later on but he doesn't register it. He just needs to sketch.

Thoughts- Charlie always tried to keep those thoughts out of his mind. But for some reason sitting next to her brought them out. All of the heat and flames flash through his head and consume his thoughts. The fire engulfed the house within minutes and he touched the door by accident. He looks at his hand and those burn marks taunt him. Maybe its the way she stares at me... my hands. He questions everything. She makes him remember and she makes it easy for him to forget. At that moment he realizes he trusts her.

Objects/Possessions -The watch is the one thing he won't let go of. It fits his writ so easily that it's become part of him. The one part of his dad that fits him.

Reactions -"WHAT WOULD YOUR FATHER THINK?" she screamed at him. She intended to hurt him and that's what he couldn't stand. How dare she say something like that to him? She always pinned his father on him and he was sick of it. The only feeling he had towards her was anger. She was pushing him away and he was done. Naturally, he didn't say anything at all. But it was his thoughts that could've broken everything. The one thought: I hate you. 

Comments & reviews · 1
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Nook
Review
Nook wrote a review · Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:34 pm

Fantastic! This was a really good character sketch! And I like Charlie...he's deep and has a lot of things going for him right now...

You have some errors that I will now point out:

"His calls for him later on but he doesn't register it."

"I'm guessing it's," His mother calls for him later on but he doesn't register it."

Because, the mother is the only relation I see in the story...

"He questions everything. She makes him remember and she makes it easy for him to forget. At that moment he realizes he trusts her."

How does he come to this conclusion? It's kind of confusing... You may need to rewrite this.

" It fits his writ so easily..."

" It fits his wrist so easily..."

And I have to say, I absoloutely adored the way you poured out this emotions like that. Right now, I don't even care if it's prose or something else...this is just too good!



I will not condemn you for what you did yesterday, if you do it right today.
— Sheldon S. Maye