YOUR OUR MOTHER, OUR FRIEND AND OUR LOVE ONE
THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH WORDS TO EXPLAIN WHAT YOU HAVE DONE
YOUR AN INSPIRATION IN OUR LIVES
GOD FORBID, BUT WE WON' T KNOW WHAT TO DO IF YOU DIED
THIS MOTHERS DAY WE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THE TIME OUT TO THANK YOU
WE THANK YOU FOR GUIDENCE, FOR YOUR LOVE AND FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO.
NO WORDS IN THIS WORLD CAN DESCRIBE HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO OUR HEART
WITH GOD IN THE MIDST OUR FAMILY WILL NEVER FALL APART
WE LAUGH, WE PLAY AND WE JOKE AROUND WITH YOU
BUT WE ALSO KNOW WHEN TO STOP TOO.
THERE IS NO OTHER WOMEN THAT CAN LOVE US LIKE YOU DO
WE THANK GOD FOR GIVING US YOU
YOU TAUGHT US HOW TO LOVE EACHOTHER EVEN IF WE DON'T GET ALONG
YOU TAUGHT US THAT IF GOD IS IN THE MIDST THE TRIALS WON'T LAST LONG
YOU TAUGHT US HOW TO BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT WE GOT
SOMETIMES IT MAY NOT BE ALOT.
YOUR OUR HERO AND WILL ALWAYS BE
NO ONE ON THIS EARTH BUT GOD CAN SEPERATE US AS YOU SEE
GOD LOVED US SO MUCH TO SEND SOMETHING SPECIAL LIKE YOU TO BE OUR MOTHER AND FRIEND
WE ARE DETERMINED TO MAKE IT IN THE END.
LOVE ALWAYS,
CHRISTINA
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Welcome to YWS!
I'd like to request you to change the case of your work, Lowercase would be much better. Caps give the feeling of yelling or being shout at. They are also very distracting. So, I think I can enjoy your poem more if it weren't caps. I had to paste your poem in a word document and change the caps, so I could read it and review properly.
Your should be you're. you do this though out your poem.
Your = Your name is Jack.
You're (you are) = You're our mother. Or you are our mother.
Make sense?
Do you mean loved one?
Please use punctuation in your poem. It would make a world of difference in this poem. Over all, I don't like this stanza as it's too flat, and void of emotions and feelings, which I think this poem should have especially. It doesn't really make me see how unique and wonderful the mother you're are talking about. Personalize this poem. Mothers are very amazing people, yet there have been numorous poems on them, what you as apoet have to do is to take that used up idea and create something fresh and unique with it. what is you like most about your mother? What make your mother unique to you? How is she different from other mothers. Help your reader see and feel that your mother is indeed that special and unique. Maybe if you use figurative language, you may be able to give your reader a fresh and unique look on motherhood.
This is a relatively better stanza. but I still wouldn't say it makes me care.
Guidence should be guidance.
Heart should be a plural; hearts.
This stanza has a lot of potential as you're trying to show the relationship between you and your mother. build more on that. Does she laugh when you play with her? What kind of laugh does she have? I really want to know this woman you're talking about but your poem is too vague. Your poem should fir your mother so well that it fits only her.
In the stanza after this, you misspelled 'alot'. It should be 'a lot'. Two separate words. In the stanza after that you say you are very lucky to have had God send you something specail as your mother. how is she special? I've said this before, and I'll say it again, show your mother's uniqueness in the poem. Show us how and why she's special. And remember show us, don't tell us.
It is very sweet of you to write a poem for your mother. I'm sure she'll like it. I hope I was of some help.
Keep writing!
-Zehra