Bang it goes

This poem owns a strong message. You're good at expressing emotions. Absolutely amazing!

Relate. Yes, it's hard for us to go to this kind of situation, but still life goes on. "Yeah it's like that. If you love something let it go and maybe just maybe it will return." Don't be mad but, I bet to disagree a little bit. If we love something, we don't just let it go away. It depends on the situation, right? If we're comfortable and we trust something or someone deeply, we shouldn't let it walk away from us.

The only thing here is that, a person may go somewhere and leave us alone in the middle of nowhere but he/she will come back if it's really God's plan for him/her to come back in your life. There's a huge space between someone else's time and place.

Yes, it can really makes us CRAZY. This is love. This is life. We need to accept everything that's happening to us. We're making our own story. If we start some things, some feelings, no one's responsible for that except you, yourself. Every second is a choice. If you're acting and feeling crazy right now, it means that you chose it.

So, better be a better decision-maker.

Btw, this was an awesome poetry of yours. I really loved it though.

First of all, I would like to congratulate you on writing a really nice poem. The concept drew in me - hook, line sinker.

I know you mentioned this one was about relationships but I relate this to more of my own mind.
Kind of a different perspective.
I know it's about romance and relationships but it still gives you this nagging feeling.
The words BANG BANG BANG gives me flashes of my own mind
Images bombing my head.

"And I can't sit here and try act like I didn't look for a remedy in the next boy." - From this line onwards, it makes a lot of sense you're talking about romance.
But really romance can be a mind game(in a fun way) with all those thoughts scrawling over you.




You could work on some punctuation and also the setting of the tone.
"These feelings - these emotions."
A hyphen here could add some impact, a pause. More depth. That's an example of adding depth and drama with punctuation.

When I read it at first glance, it feels like a rap song. A little on the humorous side, a little upbeat and uplifting.

I really think you can add some impact if you plan out the tone or sketch it out a bit in your mind.

I think if you write it from the perspective of narrating freely the story of a breakup in a comedic way to a friend and then obsessing over it, it can really breathe in more life to it.

But then again, it's me and my suggestions.
I like reading stuff with a lot of hype or energy.

Again work on the structure of the poem.
How it looks overall, how you pace it etc.
What's the inside message, what it looks on the outside. Think from the point of an observer when composing and also from the point of the character.


On a final note, I really like the the concept. I personally think if you make a couple edits, you can really bring out more out of this. You should really keep writing. Something tells me you could go for fusion styles. The way you added energy to romance and a plethora more.

It's hard for words to describe. All I can say is, awesome poem. Keep writing. I hope you enjoyed my critique and don't worry, you'll keep improving. Mishaps and a little errors are signs of solid improvement, so keep moving forward! Keep writing awesome writer!
I look forward to more.