Spring
My heart leaps at the slightest
Smile. It flutters mutters flutters
Every so often.
Your laugh is like
A cold; contagious yet
A pleasure to have
And I realise
I love
I wish
I want
I need
************************
Summer
Our minds are one, so are
Our bodies; entwined like
Two snakes-
A long forgotten coil of
Rope, and like rope
Our bond is strong
Stronger than steel
Stronger than us
It endures
Love.Live.Long
************************
Autumn
Your smile dims. Why
Don't you smile? The world
Is not as pretty
Not as joyful
As it used to be
Are you too busy?
Are you unwell?
Or am I over thinking
As usual?
The leaves fall and the tree awaits
New growth
************************
Winter
You stare; you glare
Your sight, it burns
Where we went wrong, I am not
Sure, but it was nothing big
A tasteless joke
A senseless word
A smile-less face
And the world broke apart
You glare at me, willing me to burn
But every time you do,
Something in me
Freezes
Solid
************************
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Hi! So for starters I really really enjoyed this poem, and I liked a lot that you compared the seasons to the changes in a person. I think you beautifully captured the progression (though it may be sad) of a relationship to the end of the year. I think that you captured how it's a cycle, but that there's always a happy beginning once again, just like with the start of every spring.
I know I personally can relate to this poem because I went through a really bad break up over a year ago, but I could look in me and feel everything you had described, with every changing season. I think it's wonderful how the topic is universal, everyone has experienced a heart break but everyone experiences it differently. I think you were able to capture the emotions of someone in pain very well.
I like that as you progressed you used -less a lot more. Everything was lessening and the love was lessening. It's a really sad sentiment but I think you wrote this poem every beautifully
Gee, thanks a lot
And about your break up, I hope you're doing ok now.
This poem is good. I like how when the season changes so does the relationship. It's like a gradual change. I'm not good with punctuation and that kind of stuff so I can't really review about that. The way you separated your lines is different than what I'm use to seeing. It's not bad, though. I like it. Keep up the good work.
~Lauren
Thank you
This was a pretty interesting peom. The form, how you seperated your lines, and the way you written it was different. I also like how you compared and represented the donwful and the relationship with the character's boyfriend or girlfriend. The relationship starting nice in pleasant in the spring and cold and harsh in the winter. At least that is how I saw it. It was interesting and you did a great job!
-Redbox
Thanks a lot!