"So are we gonna do this or not?"
I was stuck working on my Social Studies project with a person I knew next to nothing about. And the strain of being nice to such a person clearly showed up on my oh-so-polite comments. I saw him raise his eyes from the printouts to me..Boring black eyes.
"If you would rather skip out on this,I'm not stopping you" he muttered. Even while sitting down he was almost as tall as me.Like maybe God went 'lol lets see how far i can stretch a human being' while designing him.
"I'm a part of this too." I protested. To prove my point I took the printouts from his hands and scanned over them quickly.I had left it to him to find a topic for our 'Cultural Studies' project ,and I hoped I wouldn't regret it. His entire look, from his shaggy black hair to his tight dark clothes just screamed EMO!!
But BOY was I surprised.
"You decided on a paper on anime?! As in, Japanese anime?!" My voice went a couple of decibels higher than usual. I watched as his eyes, his oh-so-boring black eyes suddenly grew wide and sparkled.
"You know what anime is?!" He screamed back with the same amount of enthusiasm.
"I LIVE and BREATHE anime!!" We shouted at the same time. Then we just looked at each other and giggled.
Five hours later, it was time for him to go home, and we had both forgotten about the project.
***********************************************************************************************************
"...His name is Dhruv" I muttered through the phone, twirling a stray strand of hair with my finger. "He has got the same tastes as me...That's amazing"
"Seriously? That dork?" Claire couldn't control her giggling. Sometimes I wondered why this airhead and I were friends." He looks shady. And have you seen how he hangs around Munroe all the time?He's probably gay."
"You say that like it's a crime." I said." Besides, He can be attracted to oranges for all I care. I'm just glad I found a kindred spirit"
"So you say, but.." Claire dropped her voice," I don't hear good stuff about that guy. I'd rather you stay far away from him."
"Yeah whatever"
"You're not happy are you? " I could sense Claire smiling at the other end. "I'm just being a concerned friend. Tell you what, I'll dig around for more info on him. Okay?"
"Yeah. See ya"
I cut the call and threw myself onto my bed. It irritated me, the fact that Claire couldn't see how wonderful this moment was for me. After all these years....I'd finally found someone who saw the world with the same eyes!
I don't hear good stuff about that guy
"So what?" I murmured. "That's probably a misunderstanding anyway."
************************************************************************************************
The next morning, he was already sitting on his designated seat when I arrived. Despite my excitement, I couldn't make a move towards him. So I just stood there for some time, observing him.
He was gently caressing a light pink band in between his fingers.
He's probably gay.
Not that I cared, anyway. I was more concerned about how I couldn't get up the courage to go speak to him.
At that precise moment, he raised his eyes to where I was standing. His mouth flew open and his lips formed a silent 'oh'.
I panicked.
He saw me he saw me he saw me he saw me he-
"You're GAY?!"
"........"
I could not believe I just said that out loud. His eyes widened in surprise (or was it horror?) and I knew that if I didn't do something, anything, our relationship was as good as gone.
"Um...It's not like it bothers me or anything. I mean, it doesn't involve me in any way, unless I'm a guy ofcourse which I obviously am not but it's probably weirding you out that I asked such a question I didn't mean to pry I'm not usually this dits-"
As I unintentionally made the situation worse, he interrupted me with a laugh.
"That's the first time I've been asked that! " He smiled. His eyes were shining again.
"Really? That is hard to believe"
I wish I could've hit myself.
But he brushed off the insult. "What made you think that?" he pressed. I slowly pointed towards the pink band. His gaze turned ice cold as it reached the band.
"this-" he muttered, "Is not mine."
"Oh" I said.
I realised that he didn't want to dwell on that subject.
"So...about the new anime-"
As I steered the conversation to more comfortable waters, I saw his grateful smile. And though it made me feel good as well, the question still remained.
His gaze was so sad.
This is not mine.
If not yours, then whose is it?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,832 Reviews
Hi! I'm Grace! So far, I really like this story! The boy seems so mysterious. I like characters like that, with a shaded, or unsure past. I really like your descriptions, there great... I'm sort of wondering if there going to get together... Can't wait to read more!
If your interested, I would appreciate it if you read my story: Lies, Cheating, Tears, & More Lies. You may like it. I don't really have anything bad to say about this chapter, it was a great one! Keep writing please! 
*Grace*
This was a fun piece that still required thought to it. I like that, and the way it uses humor throughout it. I enjoyed the beginning because it could be asked by absolutely anyone about anything, and the only way to find out who is speaking about what is to read on farther than just the first few sentences. It grabs readers' attention, the way it should.
I think you should establish that the main character is a female early on. Dialogue and twirling hair isn't enough because boys can act the same way. I believe this is important because she's attracted to Dhruv but Claire has heard that he's gay. If readers know earlier on that the main character is a girl, we'll know that the relationship won't happen if the rumor is true, or we'll think that they could end up falling in love if the main character is a boy.
I didn't catch her name in the prologue or here and I think readers should get one because it's not typical to not know names by this point in the story.
Overall, I enjoyed it and hope to see more.
Hi there! Noelle here for a Review Day review!
It's always good to have dialogue tags at the beginning of chapters. Because then the readers will know who's talking first. Especially since this is Chapter 1. We only know what's happened in the prologue. If this were, for example, Chapter 15, we could go back to the end of Chapter 14 to see who was talking then and assume from that who's talking here. Since we don't know anything though, it's confusing to us.
The first meeting there in the beginning is great. I really like how they start off not knowing each other and then end up becoming friends. Or at least just knowing each other better. It's also quite realistic. That's how people make friends in real life. They find something they both like to talk about and boom, off they go. At least, that's how I made my friends ^_^
One thing I do want to point out about the first scene though, is that you seem to rely on your dialogue to show how excited the two of them are. That's along the same lines as telling instead of showing. Why not show us how excited they are? Is the librarian shouting at them for being too loud? You mention the boy's boring eyes. Did they suddenly grow big and bright, so much different than they normally are? You did mention that a bit, but really get into it. Give us more. Descriptions are always a good thing
Quick nitpick here. Giggling is more like a "hee hee" kind of laugh. I think that you mean to say that they laughed more than that.
This is a place where 'giggling' fits in well. But I just can't see Dhruv giggling. Laughing, yes.
This chapter feels a bit rushed to me. First they meet, then she goes home to talk to her friend on the phone, then they meet again. Why not slow it down a bit? Show us how she really feels about this boy. Sure she says that she's happy to have found someone like that, but that's about it. Does she like like him? Does she want to be more than friends? Is she just excited to have found someone else who likes anime? I'm left with more questions than answers at this point.
I do want to say though, that your writing style is great. It's so simple and straightforward. There's nothing complicated about it; no fancy metaphors or long words -- just straight to the point. My favorite things to read are ones where it's a good and easy read, like it took the author no effort at all to write it. And that's what you have here. It reads through easily and you really get to see the characters shine.
I can't wait to read more!
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
I really liked this! I'm a sucker for romance, and this one suits my fancy just fine. The humor in it was great as well, seems like something that I would do haha. I can also relate to this situation as well. In my seventh grade math class a couple years ago, a guy that I've known forever but never really talked to turns around and asks me, "Do you like The Legend of Korra?"
I replied with: "I'm only just obsessed with it!" And that's how we became best friends, and we still are. Anyway, this was great, it made me really nostalgic. I can't wait to read more!
Thanks a lot!
That was beautiful. It was so well written and it is good that it has anime in it. I love anime and I might be a guy but it doesn't mean I can't like a romance. I think that this can become one of the best things I've read, it's already up there but wow. I can see why this is in the Literary Spotlight and for your first post it's crazy to say but it's amazing. It sounded ok but I got hooked fast, can't wait to read more of this. Continue on this great start just don't let it go down hill, it can happen but I don't think that will happen.
Thanks a lot
People liking my work is probably THE BEST Christmas gift I could ever ask for 
And you like anime? Awesome! Looks like I found a kindred spirit too
I really love your style! There was something very quirky about the way you wrote this chapter, for example “lol lets see how far i can stretch a human being” (I also quite liked the way you used a small “i” – it was grammatically incorrect, but it actually had a huge amount of impact. The use of the word lol (not sure whether it’s really a word or not but still…) was really effective and together they give the idea that God’s talking in textspeak (which I found really humorous)
…I don’t actually have much criticism for this chapter actually. I really liked the bit about the pink band and the mysteries that raised (my theory is that it belonged to his sister or someone very close to him who died tragically) and I loved Dhruv’s broken character (my favourite characters to write and read about, because I get so emotionally connected with them) Also, I liked the heroine and got a real sense of what she was like – slightly awkward, a bit socially inept and maybe a bit geeky – in short, a likeable and very identifiable character.
The only very small criticism I have is the grammar (at least, I think it’s the grammar) around the dialogue. For example:
"If you would rather skip out on this,I'm not stopping you" he muttered.
There needs to be a comma after the you, and if you really want me to be picky there should be a space before the I’m (just after the first comma)
Claire dropped her voice," I don't hear good stuff about that guy
The speech mark doesn’t attach to the comma if it’s a continuation of Claire’s speech. It should be immediately before the I.
Apart from those few mistakes (and I’m sure you’ll pick up on them if you read them through carefully enough – check against a published novel if you don’t understand what I mean) I really loved it. I haven’t really got anything negative to say about it – it was enjoyable, not too long and the narrator had a very distinctive voice (very teenagery!) It was definitely up there in my awesome list, and I will definitely review more of your work (I’ll be away from the website over the festive period but as long as I know more has been uploaded I promise to read and review it)
You have a new dedicated fan – thanks for uploading it and Merry Christmas!
Thanks for the review!
fact is, I'm not that used to typing yet so I make lots of mistakes when I type fast 
I respect people who can just move their hands across the keyboard magically.
And I hope you can review more of my works
Merry Christmas!