Well everybody, this is the last part. Hope you enjoy!
(Twenty-two years old)
“You look beautiful,” my friends assured me as they fixed my veil. “He won’t believe you’re you!”
I grinned and hugged all my friends. Layla was my flower girl, and she was wearing a pale pink dress with butterfly clips in her hair. Rosa was standing beside her was a green silk dress on and holding a three year-old Francesca.
The door opened and Mum came in with her arms open to me.
“I can’t believe my little girl is getting married!” she exclaimed, and I could see that she was about to cry.
“Don’t let your make-up run until I’m actually Mrs. Nick Trent,” I laughed, handing her a tissue.
Mum nodded and hugged me tight.
“I love you baby.”
I nodded, holding back tears that were threatening to spill over.
“I love you too Mum.”
There was a knock on the door and Olivia opened it. Dad was standing in the doorway wearing a suit and smiling broadly.
“Are you ready to go, Josie?” he asked.
I nodded and began a round of hugging all my friends. They left the room and I spent a few minutes alone with Dad.
“This is the proudest day of my life,” he smiled at me.
“Hmm,” I hummed. “What about then Rosa got married? What about the day you left us?”
Dad sighed impatiently.
“Are you still on about that? It was years ago and didn’t concern you whatsoever. And look at yourself, you turned out fine. Rosa’s the one who got messed up. Mind you, she was always a pretty messed up kid.”
I shook my head. “I can’t believe you Dad! You don’t get it, you just don’t get it. We were both so hurt by you leaving, and Rosa wasn’t the only one who got screwed up because of it. I’ve done plenty of shit because of it. Not that you’d know, it’s not like you ever notice me at all!”
Dad looked surprised. I was the perfect daughter, the one who never screwed up or did anything wrong. I hadn’t had a baby before marriage, I was about to marry a great guy, and I held a great job at a newspaper. Rosa was the girl who couldn’t do that stuff or didn’t want to.
Tears were coming out of my eyes. “Look Dad, I want to get married, and I don’t care whether you’re going to walk me down the aisle or not. But I’m not going to walk with someone who hates me and my family.”
I headed for the doors, but Dad grabbed me arm.
“You’re right Josie, I’m a bastard,” he said. “But I’m sorry. You’re my daughter and I love you no matter what.”
I smiled and threw my arms around his neck.
“Forgive me?” Dad whispered.
“I forgive you.”
Dad pushed me back a little and smiled. “Right, well, let’s get walking.”
He opened the doors and held out his arm. The music began playing as dad led me down the aisle and to my to-be husband.
“I love you Josie,” Dad whispered, and kissed my cheek before sitting down in the front row, next to mum. I saw them smile and each other and hold hands.
“We are gathered here today…”
The reception was wonderful, and the food was amazing! My friend Gracie Tyler did most of the catering.
“You look beautiful,” Nick whispered for the god-knows time. I giggled and bit into a cookie. Dad called for attention and announced that the speeches would begin. Everybody groaned light-heartedly. The first speech was to be from Rosa. Mum took Francesca, and Rosa took the microphone from Dad.
“Well, I’d like to start off by saying congratulations to Josie and Nick,” she smiled. “You make a wonderful couple. I’ve been worrying about what to say here for a while now, and a few days ago I was reminded of when I first met Nick, and I thought that would be a funny story.”
Nick groaned. It was truly funny, but Nick didn’t share that view and my family weren’t intending on letting him forget the experience to soon. I smiled at my husband and put my hand over his.
Rosa finished her speech and handed the microphone to Dad.
“I’d like to first of all thank you all for coming,” he said. “This is one of the happiest days of my life, matched only to the births of my daughters and son, and my own wedding’s and of course,” Dad looked at me, “my other daughter’s wedding.”
I smiled and nodded. Dad broke my heart when I was four, but when I was twenty-two he pieced it back together, one piece at a time.
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140,820 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
DON'T LEAVE THIS HOW IT IS!
It'll ruin all your hard work on the previous six chapters It needs depth and detail. Explain how showstoppingly beautiful Josie looks in her dress. Explain!!!!
The argument between Josie and her Dad didn't seem to real to me because of the quick turn around...the drama of what she said when she was anoyed and her would-be exit was ended with one sentence from her dad. Once sentence can't erase all that pain and Joise seems to be the first person who would say that...get what I mean?
I was good,b tu I think you need to expand more. Like the fight bewtween the father and the daughter. the wedding and the reception. I felt like the whole story brushed by without me really getting into it. This is a good start to a chapter, though. Overall you need to expand.
Hope I helped.
AE
Aw, a very cute ending. Summed it up nicely.
'then' should be 'when'. Also, this is a bit sudden! There's no lead up to it and it doesn't really reflect the rest of the story. Perhaps make there be some sort of reason behind why she is suddenly coming out with this on her wedding day.
Repetition of the word 'great' and with no real impact. Consider re-phrasing?
Who said he hates her or her family? Last chapter they all seemed to be getting along fairly well.
Show, don't tell. Set the scene for us so we can feel what Josie is feeling and seeing. Don't info-dump.
You need to put the word 'what' in after 'knows'.
Us readers want to hear this speech! There's no point mentioning things like anecdotes if you're not going to go into them.
Lovely! A really nice line to end on and it ties the title in well.
Overall a very good ending. Just remember to fill it up with description and emotion and don't rush it! Let us see a build up before the confrontation so that why know why Josie is saying all that. Let us see her thoughts.
Keep writing Rosie!
Alainna
xxxx