How could you take
away my soul? I was
so young, and you
caused me such pain.
Did it make you feel
more like a father?
How am i to keep living
with such a screat?
A daddy's love should
be like hugs and kisses.
Not what you make it out
to be.
Mother worries about me
now. She hears crys at night,
for i cant cry at day.Oh how
i long to tell her.
Years have went by and people
have come and gone with their
love.Though you seem to stay.
As if you want to show your love.
You have that look in your eye
that makes me relive the past.
I have to live with you knowing
your longing to show your love.
I refuse to let this happen.I
will run forever just to keep
my past behind me and it not in
my future.
Father's love means nothing to
me anymore.I will not let you
love me the way you want daddy.
I am a grown girl now, so no means no!
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
beautiful poem. its on such a tragic topic and it really reflects it in your words.
i know u dont want sympathy but i really have to say im sorry what happend.
i am especially fond of the line "Did it make you feel more like a father?"
i dont know why but its hard and smart and it really makes you think.
its the type of retorrical like question but u really want an answer...if that made any since...
i think i liked it b/c that one line plants a lot of words in your mind and how much you want answers.
to sum it up, i really loved this poem and i hope the situation works out for you and you keep up the wirting
-Ameria Rain
ya i told my mom and i was jerkeds out of his home.i have been hiding behind things for ever and when i told it was like everything was better.Please dont pray for me. and please dont pity me. i just want to have my writing seen and let people know what i have been through
Wow, I'm so sorry. Have you told your mom yet? You really need to. I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
SORRY! I AM PRAYING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Secret was spelled wrong so I fixed it.
I capitalized the I's and added apostrophes. Also it shouldn't be crys it's cries I fixed it.
The it really isn't needed.
Overall
It was a really good poem. Keep it up.
Lol I love the end. I noticed that before some sentences there are spaces and others there are none. Just change that. What inspired you to write this poem? I'd like to know that.
Maybe 'so much' pain, instead of 'such' pain.
screat, not so sure what word that is supposed to be,
What about, 'How much i long to tell her'
And crys is spelled cries
Remove the 'it'
As I said, I love it!
Double post, sorry