Losing someone,
is losing yourself.
It is losing you and everything you are.
It is the rain without that beautiful smell everyone associates with rainfall,
But no one can actually describe it.
It is eating your favorite food and realizing,
No, no this isn't right,
Because the taste is all wrong.
Losing someone,
Is your heart aching in your chest,
Not for a moment.
But for years and years.
It is losing those silly things in your life
That you adore,
That you never realized you could miss.
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Hello Tuesday here for a review. I like to begin that this poem could somewhat relate to people since throughout our life we have lost someone and throughout that life we live, we eat things that remind us of the that person or do things that remind us of that person. I enjoyed the message you were trying to get across as of when you try to get rid of that person, you never can. Also I enjoyed the italic words to add an emphasis on the words since without it, it could just be a word and there wouldn't be a meaning behind it.
for this stanza, i would add one minor thing to this and would be -so since it adds a beat to this stanza when someone reads it and gives a dramatic flare to when the reader reads it. Because the taste, is all so wrongNitpick(s):
i feel like the word -silly that you have used in here, doesn't exactly fit the whole poem as itself. i would suggest using a synonym (this site has some great words for silly: http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/silly)
Overall, i would say that most people who could relate to this have seen someone die and realize that the days to follow are never the same since you can never get rid of that person you love, even if don't think about them. I could relate since my friend has lost her dad and every since after that, she tries to stop thinking about it. Also recently a girl at my school, has commit suicide and even now (even after it has been over) people still remember her (even though some, didn't know her well).
Sorry for rambling, just my way of saying how awesome a poem is and this one is well-written and could be fixed with those added words.
Farewell,
Tuesday
Losing someone is your heart aching in your chest. Not for a moment but for years and years, that you adorable, that you never realized you could miss. Oh, I love this line(s). It's too true and eveyone's felt it at one point in time of their lives. I absolutely love the smell of rain just before a storm. It seems to relax me some how. This was a beautiful poem. I really liked it. There aren't any noticeable flaws as far as I am concerned. Again, very nice. Please feel free to review my work This is our song and A Tragic End sometime! I'll be following for more ^o^
Hey! Hermione here for a review. I really enjoyed this poem, and I loved the metaphors you chose to use. My absolute favorite was the one about the rain.
While I liked the idea, these lines were a little bit repetitive and choppy. For instance, you say the words rain and rainfall in the same line, when you only need to use one of those words to get your point across. Here is how I would change these two lines to make them flow better, but this is just a suggestion:
It is the rain falling without that distinct smell everyone associates with it,
That no one can actually describe.
You don't have to change it, I just think it would help it flow a little more smoothly. Other than those two lines, I really couldn't find anything wrong with your poem. I really liked your last three lines. They wrapped up your whole poem very well. Good job and keep writing!
Hello Nunyabusiness here to review! I love this poem and I think it is very well placed, though I would have to criticize some little things... look at the second stanza; I would capitalize the first word there. Other then that one thing your good to go.