Published April 8, 2010
As time goes by/ Time makes the tears go by. (can't decide)
Would you cry If I said goodnight,
Would you cry If I said goodbye,
If I left the world with a sigh,
Would you still remember my light.
Tommorows just a day away,
Yesterday has just flown past,
With bullets and lives we pay,
To make sure perfect times will last.
When the world rests it's weary head,
Together we will lie,
With no troubles or dread
and with no reasons to cry.
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140,630 Literary Works • 673,569 Reviews
I can't say anything different from the others. This poem had a smooth flow.
I enjoyed every word
As for the tittle I think "As time goes by" would be the best fit!
I must say, this a lovely emotional poem. GREAT WORK! The last reviewer has pointed out some little errors and I think correcting them will make this poem just great. TAKE CARE and KEEP WRITING!
Hello cheesec4ke! Welcome to YWS! I'll be your reviewer for today.
This was short, but short poems are sometimes the most meaningful. I felt tears swell up in my eyes as I read this, literally. This is my favorite part, though it has an error in it
You should put a question mark on the last line. It made me think, will someone remember me? I was thinking of some certain people...and it really was great to think about. I mean, its really good when reader's analyze and think.
Now this stanza was where I started flat out bawling! I could feel emotion, and I felt my heart ache. When you said, "Together we will lie," I thought of people all over the world, black, white, Asian, Hispanic...everyone, lying down together in the grass, and holding hands. This was really great and I hope to see more of your work.
~Forest
P.S.- I think it should be called, "As Time Goes By," its short and simple, but yet so meaningful.