Somehow

by charredmarshmellow

  • Poetry

Published July 20, 2012

I hate this bitch
But i created this bitch
Theres nothing I could do to prevent this
Well I just wanted to create this bitch

Shes the only one that can stand up for me
While I'm meliting down
She wants me dead
While I want to walk out
Shes the only one who wants me to do this
I'm the only one that knows shes got loose lips

I'll flip and I'll do hits 
Theres nothing you cant change
No war you cant wage
But I'll still stand up on that stage

Criticize me I dare you
Theres nothing you can say to me
That I cant say to you

Comments & reviews · 1
User avatar
Epicdonkalous
Review
Epicdonkalous wrote a review Review · Jul 20, 2012

Hey there!

Well this is a bit interesting. I do like the overall theme, but I have found a few flaws. Frist off, I really don't think that "bitch" is neccesary. I think it detracts from the meaning. Anyway, the poem itself isn't bad, but you made quite a few grammatical/spelling errors.
1-*I
2-*There's
3-*She's
4-*Melting
5-*She's
6-*She's
7-*There's
8-*can't
9-*There's
10-*can't
Pretty much you just forgot your apostrophes in your contractions. xD
Hopefully this is somewhat helpful? I didn't see any -huge- mistakes or anything



I cannot separate the aesthetic pleasure of seeing a butterfly and the scientific pleasure of knowing what it is.
— Vladmir Nabokov