The Devils’ Parade
The footsteps in the snow were long lost by dawn
All traces of him gone
The misery of uninvited dreams
is the cause of her despair
She knows she can’t reach them
but yet they are there
And that love that is forcing you to forget what he's done
His speech, his song, it’s infecting your soul
You dance, long, sin and kiss
All in the shadow of the one you miss
With your blindfolded eyes and his trustworthy disguise
He will only lure you with lies
Chorus:
For you will always be a slave of the Devil’s parade
That arousing speech, that mesmerizing song
You think it’s a gift but you’re wrong
Well if love can force you to forget, maybe you’ll never again regret
Watching the devil’s parade
I know you want to be there although it’s wrong
He pulls you back in, there’s no way you can win
He whispers: come along to sing our song
But it is a never-ending maze
He is hidden in the haze ready to make you his slave
Chorus:
For you will always be a slave of the Devil’s parade
That arousing speech, that mesmerizing song
You think it’s a gift but it wont last for long
Well if love can force you to forget, maybe you’ll never again regret
Watching the devil’s parade
Bridge/slow down:
I tried to warn her, keep her protected
She wanted to leave, safe and undetected
But she was already gone
She sang the song
And she will always be a slave of the Devil’s parade
That arousing speech, that mesmerizing song
She is too afraid not to dance in the parade
The Devil’s parlous, parade.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I liked this song, it had a certain atmosphere to it that I found very captivating. Being a part of the Devil's parade and being too afraid to leave? >shudders< I'm aware that this is simply a set of lyrics, but being a musician myself, I would like to see a sort of description as to what the instrumentation is like. I'm not saying that you have to give a list of chords or piano sheet music, but it would suffice to perhaps see a list of what instruments are played in this song, and describe what the music is like. Picture how this song sounds in your head and then put it into words for all of us to see;)
Thank you so much! Well when I wrote this song I had this indie-pop melody in my head. Have you heard Lions Roar by First Aid Kit? Kinda like that (of course not exactly the same) but with mostly guitar and piano and drums. I also want the song to me relatively slow, because its a very emotional and personal song
If you have any ideas, please let me know!
That is a nice song!I would change some words here and there, but anyways it is good!I can imagine piano chords to it!
Thank you so much! And yes I play the piano so that is what I was thinking as well. You said you would change some words, any suggestions?
first off, can i ask what genre you would be aiming for?
the sophisticated use of lexis is used efficiently but not overdone, if you do get any comment regarding your use of "big kid" words, ignore them as the reviewer clearly just doesn't understand what they mean. it flows nicely and could be considered as poetry if you ever choose to go down that route, as unlike some lyrics the message is vague but understandable.
the only real nitpicking i could suggest is maybe in the chorus, the rhyming couplet "long" and "song" is a bit too obvious, maybe through the listener off with a curveball. other than that, good lyrics and as a songwriter myself i would be proud of them.
Wow! Thank you so much! And yes I completely agree with the "long" and "song" rhyme. I did have some trouble with that when writing, and I would not mind changing it. Considering English is not my first language(actually not even my second language), I had some difficulties finding a better rhyme to be honest. Thank you for your feedback, I will definitely think about that.