Pudding

Well then! My first review in service of the After Watch!

Okay, I think… I get the reference that the pudding and the Earth are kinda the same? I would describe the substance of a pudding as sodden after all (Not so sure abt the repetition. I know it’s deliberate but I have not been convinced XD)

I am also wondering if maybe the lines are alternating. One line referring to actual pudding and one line to the earth. Not yet sure tho. Maybe…. Climate Change?

Candy thermometer
With a face at the top

Tho this throws a wrench into the idea of alternating lines. I do find this attention to detail very peculiar tho! Noted!
Ohhh it is to keep referencing the face going further; I like that!
And I like how you give its description a sinister twist (not being able to see the eyes)

And the latter part of the poem has me suddenly think of watching cartoons in the morning. Must admit the meaning behind the lines is a lost on me but I find the entire premise fascintatin! Especially how the poem peters out with spreading the final question over multiple lines!

PS: What does it mean to go into a poem blind? O_O

Hi charcoalspacewolfman! I’m coming into this poem completely blind, but the title immediately made me curious. “Pudding” sounds harmless and comforting, so opening with a shovel and a pit in the ground creates a wonderfully strange contrast.

Grab a shovel
Slice deep into the sodden sod

I really like how quickly this establishes the poem’s surreal logic. “Sodden sod” has an exaggerated, almost storybook sound to it, which fits the comically large thermometer later on. That said, the repetition may feel slightly tongue-twisting depending on how seriously you want the opening to be taken. If the silliness is intentional, it works.

Pour in all the ingredients
Into the fresh earth

The repeated “in” and “into” makes this moment read a little awkwardly. You might consider combining or slightly rephrasing these lines so the action flows more smoothly.

I love the idea that the earth contains “dormant coals” and will simply heat the mixture by itself. It gives the ritual the confident logic of a children’s cartoon, where nobody questions why pudding is being cooked in a hole.

A comically large
Candy thermometer
With a face at the top

This is where the poem’s world became very clear to me. The phrase “comically large” is direct, but I think that bluntness suits the cartoon imagery. The smiling thermometer feels like an object designed to be cheerful before the poem starts asking whether that cheerfulness is genuine.

The yellow slop bubbles merrily
The yellow mercury rises smoothly

The repetition of “yellow” creates a strong visual link between the pudding and the thermometer. Technically, mercury is usually silver, so “yellow mercury” caught my attention. This may be completely intentional because the poem clearly operates through surreal, animated imagery. If not, you could describe the liquid inside the thermometer differently.

The thermometer beams

I really like this line. “Beams” works both as smiling brightly and as emitting light, which becomes even stronger in the next stanza.

A smile so wide
You cannot see its eyes

This was the point where the poem became unsettling for me. Up until here, the smile seems joyful, but hiding the eyes makes it feel forced or even painful. It is a very effective tonal turn.

Or does it only smile
Because that is all it can do?

This is probably my favourite part. It changes the thermometer from a cute prop into something trapped inside its assigned role. It also makes the reader reconsider every earlier use of cheerful language. Was it actually happy, or were we only interpreting its design as happiness?

Wickedness thwarted once again

The introduction of villains surprised me because they had not appeared earlier. I understand the impression of an episodic cartoon where the heroes cook magical pudding to defeat some evil force, but the exact situation remains intentionally vague. A very small hint earlier that the pudding serves some heroic purpose could make this line feel more connected to the rest of the poem.

But what does a thermometer know?
What was the cost of victory?

I like the questions, although they create two slightly different possibilities. The first suggests the thermometer may not understand anything, while the second suggests it may understand the consequences better than everyone else. That tension is interesting, but you could sharpen which possibility you want the reader to sit with.

And when the channel changes

This is an excellent line. It suddenly places everything inside a television programme and implies that the characters and objects continue existing after the audience stops watching. It also strengthens the poem’s theme of cheerful objects performing for someone else.

What does that effervescent glass lightning rod
Think about

“Effervescent glass lightning rod” is vivid and inventive, though it is much denser than the poem’s earlier language. I had to pause to identify that it still referred to the thermometer. That pause may be useful because the object has become stranger and more emotionally complex, but you could simplify the description if you want the ending to land more immediately.

The final narrowing of the lines works very well:

when all
the
pudding
is
gone
?

It visually slows the reader down and leaves the thermometer alone in the shed after its purpose has disappeared. The isolated question mark is especially effective. It makes the ending feel both childlike and quietly bleak.

One small issue is the syntax around:

Think about
in the shed,

The interruption makes the sentence momentarily difficult to follow. “What does it think about in the shed?” is the intended sentence, but the line break places a pause between “about” and “in the shed.” You could keep the fragmented descent while adjusting those first two lines for slightly clearer grammar.

Overall, I really enjoyed the poem’s progression from cheerful nonsense into existential discomfort. The strongest element is the contrast between the thermometer’s permanent smile and the possibility that it has no choice but to perform happiness. The children’s-cartoon imagery makes the darker questions more effective because the poem never abandons its bright, silly surface.

My main suggestions would be to smooth the repeated phrasing near the beginning, consider whether “yellow mercury” is intentional, give the villains or the pudding’s purpose a tiny bit more setup, and refine the syntax immediately before the final descending lines. The concept itself is memorable, strange and surprisingly sad.