Happy Complex

Hi there, cha! Griff here to review this lovely work of yours!

Wow. First off, I really love this poem. I generally enjoy free style poetry, and you did a great job making this stand out. The topic is also gorgeous. I know I feel this way a lot, and others as well, with the stereotype of, "I have a great life, I don't self-harm, I do well, and that means I am happy." That equation is not true. I really loved the way you put it, and the ending just wrapped it up so beautifully. My favorite lines were,

I don’t press razors to my wrist

Or starve myself until I wither

Or lie about the bruises on my arms

Or scream until there is no air left to breathe.

okay.....i am going to be doing this.....you need this in stanzas. I am going to show you how you can do this. I will first show you how you have the poem now, before I show you have I would put it into stanzas.

This is how you have your's set up.

Happy Complex

I am not sad.

I don’t press razors to my wrist

Or starve myself until I wither

Or lie about the bruises on my arms

Or scream until there is no air left to breathe.

I don’t cry myself to sleep at night

Or hate my parents

Or sleep with people I don’t love

Or put on a mask every morning so people think I am beautiful.

I am happy.

I smile and I dance to music

And I flirt with the boy in my Chemistry class,

Spend time with my little sister

And read stories about wonderful things,

And learn to love the world day by day.

But when I lie in bed at night with my mind

And think about things that are bigger than me

And things that are so much smaller

I realize:

I spend an awful lot of time lying.

Happy Complex

I am not sad.
I don’t press razors to my wrist
Or starve myself until I wither
Or lie about the bruises on my arms
Or scream until there is no air left to breathe.

I don’t cry myself to sleep at night
Or hate my parents
Or sleep with people I don’t love
Or put on a mask every morning so people think I am beautiful.

I am happy.
I smile and I dance to music.
I flirt with the boy in my Chemistry class.

Spend time with my little sister
And read stories about wonderful things,
And learn to love the world day by day.

But when I lie in bed at night with my mind
And think about things that are bigger than me
And things that are so much smaller

I realize:
I spend an awful lot of time lying.

*whistles* Hey there, matey. Don't you think is creepy that you summed up my life in this poem? Because I think is creepy, alright, so let's get down to reviewing! So, I loved the whole idea of this poem, is amazing. Starting with these tiny little facts of happiness, each one of them contradicting to depression, cutting, beauty perfection. Starting out with a happy, normal life. I think this whole poem is a progress itself into darkness, every tiny little things builds up in your brain and when you try and analyze them...

They turn ugly, they ture dark, they turn realistic and you realized these things are completely out of your control. These Things...this happiness. Perhaps you're just pretending. The ending to be honest, mystified me a bit. But I still love this poem, I have no nitpicks about it since it just summed me up.

-S.s

Strange here, and I have a review for you, chef! (Reference to your poem)
This shows what most poems about this subject shows. I found no difference between other poems. One thing I hear "I'm tired of lying" This also left me a little bit confused. So, does she cut herself, or do any mental breakdown? People who lie like this still hurt themselves. I don't get the message I'm supposed to receive. It got shut down like a mailer daemon. This is well written, but it didn't hit me right as it should
Overall, good writing
Strange gives you..
6.7/10
Good job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my friend *Hair flips*
Paint the roses red, my darling

Hi there Teammate! I am here to review your wonderful poem here on this review day. Written in free verse, this poem serves as a good alternative to the much written cliched teen-angst poems that we normally get to read. It is like a breath of fresh air in that sub-genre. The title "Happy Complex" is a clever choice as it does not give out the shocking twist that is packed up in the last line and yet it is not irrelevant.It is always a struggle to maintain flow; particularly when writing a free verse- you seem to have done a commendable job on that. However, I kind-of stumbled here:

Or put on a mask every morning so people think I am beautiful.

I realize:
I spend an awful lot of time lying.

Firstly a word on the title. Now I don't know if this is deliberate, but the title has a rather clever double meaning. At first I took it to mean a complex as in a building complex or a army complex, but later I realized it could also be as in complex happiness. This is clever...
I think that there are three immediate phrases to this poem, the non-sad disclaimer, the happy bit, and the shock ending. And what I like is the way you built somthing up, brought it down with contradiction, and then brought that down suddenly and unexpectedly with the last line. Very well done on that score!
Keep on writing,
Take That You Fiend!
(To request a poetry review see The Poetry Person in Will Review for Food.)

I like how you immediately distance this from the all too often clich`ed teen angst poem. Not to discount what anyone is going through but it seems like that is the classic route to take poems, (I don't know how to get that damn line over the e, pardon).

I also like how you build the "happiness" right up until you slow down and think about "things". The writing follows like a list so when you say "but" the reader has to change gears and realizes there is a "but".

And I love the title. Happy Complex, as if someone doesn't take the time to consider how they might actually be feeling as long as they tell themselves otherwise and don't reflect.

The writing describes the moment well. It made me consider things bigger and smaller than me which is what I like most about it.