Hidden

Hidden

By Cori-Anne Bonfilio

CBonfilio@live.com

Part I:

The Catalyst

Chapter One:

The Decision

“You cannot deny that they have disobeyed our laws, our way of being! Stolen away in the night, disloyalty in their hearts and for what? Pleasures denied by nature? We cannot look past this matter or upon it with gentle eyes! A child now conceived who may never survive! Who may be driven mad by its own blood! Uncontained power, unharnessed and unpredictable.”

Iara, graceful as ever, stared into Endellion with eyes blue as the Crystal River. It was not his fault he was so passionate and rage came so easily to him. He was, after all, a fire elemental and those happened to be typical characteristics of such. There was no denying it, his appearance alone told this much about the man with the darkest of eyes and most brilliant red hair, containing so many shades and pigments that when light shone down on him it could often play tricks with you. The colors seemed to shimmer and sway, resembling very much a most brilliant fire.

“We cannot say that just now, Endellion. We do not- “Iara did not get far in her thoughts before Endellion's booming alto filled the room once again, cutting off anything any of the eight councils may have been saying.

“You have heard the tales, Iara! Child elementals with powers unable to be controlled. Spreading fire for miles when angry or drowning entire islands while dreaming! It is un- “

“Tales I have heard, Endellion. I have seen no such children with my own eyes, perhaps in thanks to the laws of our kind or perhaps due to the falseness of these tales. Imagination and ignorance are two characteristics often encountered together, would you not agree?”

The counsel sat quietly, rage simmering in Endellion’s eyes, Iara’s own brilliant blue satisfied. It was Avaneese who spoke next, her calm demeanor never wavering in even the most trying of times. Her ability to remain calm along with her exceptional sense of reason were characteristics sought after by the high counsel, not to mention the fact that anger and rage rarely crossed her conscious. Just like nature itself, the council was also a careful balance.

“It is agreed that punishment must not be over looked for their carelessness, but let us also remember as survival runs in our blood, so do our elemental natures. The fact that the fire elemental in question would feel such passion as to be blinded to consequence and the earth elemental such welcome and nurture towards one so desperately needing of her is also understandable, when considered. Let us not forget that to such dark matters, one must bring forth light. We must always be merciful, my council, or we should lose the most beautiful pieces of ourselves.”

As an elemental Avaneese was naturally breathtaking. One could not help but notice the abundance of beauty she possessed at times like this, when her elemental nature was so obvious. Her need to nurture, to help. Her dark hair flowing naturally down her back, eyes green as grass. There was nothing artificial about her appearance. Her beauty was as natural as the earth itself. Sometimes she was thought to be a little too lenient, a mothering lesson was always her preference when it came to punishments. Today, she thought, would be a devastating one for her. A punishment was sure to be dealt, and this matter, as it turns out, involved much more than a little disobedience and pleasure. A child is to be born. A life these two elementals have both created, and destroyed, in one single act. A world bereaved of its natural balance. An uncertain future and if there was anything Avaneese knew for certain, it was indeed that elementals, like most creatures, feared the unknown above almost all else.

Zephyro sat at the table, considering all the arguments thrown passionately into the room. He often felt pity for Avaneese, who was so kind and affectionate no matter the circumstances. Always, she would feel the most compassion and empathy and in doing so be punished along with those in question of the council. Today, at the end of this meeting, he had no doubt there would be one more small fracture settling itself among the others in the web of her heart. He studied the elementals before him. Eight in total including himself, two from each elemental class, a male and female. Endellion and Tangora from Fire, with their bright hair and dark eyes. Full of passion and so easily enraged. So willing to take action, quick with decision and ferocious in battle. He had seen Tangora once dressed in her usual fighting clothes, blade dripping the dark blood of who she had just slain, a beauty so intense it seemed it would be able to burn you alive if one looked for too long. Iara and Neree from Water, with matching blue eyes. So pure at heart and graceful, yet strong and ever steady. Always calm and logical with an uncanny ability to see the reasoning in every situation. Kastha and himself representing Wind, with hair white as snow, silver strands making it seem as it was shimmering with every movement above grey eyes often intimidating behind a cool stare. Then there was Adomas and Avaneese, bearing Earth, an array of rich browns framing emerald eyes. Adomas and Avanees, who open their hearts, welcoming everyone in without caution. Who nurture those in need of mothering, fathering. Tend to the sick and attach themselves to others too quickly. Adomas and Avaneese, merciful to a fault, and who will surly, again, leave the council room a little more broken hearted than when they had entered.

Now Zephyro spoke his truths. “When the elder counsel made these laws, this way of life, it was not without warrant I am sure. I am positive in my belief that they hold some measure of fact; the extent is what I am not so sure of. Over time words tend to be misconstrued, bending to the will of others and becoming much larger or much smaller than that which they originally were. We do not know what this child will encounter when it comes into itself, if anything at all. Nature does its best to give a balance to everything it provides. As there are tales of unconditional power, there are tales of elemental children born of mixed blood containing no powers at all. The danger is not yet known. A child with such raw potential is not only a threat to our kingdoms, but to itself. It could be used as a tool for control, power over the other elements and could bring war to our kind easily -even we are not above greed. As for the child itself, there is a very real possibility that such power unharnessed would drive it mad. Controlling our elemental gifts is consuming enough, it takes great amounts of energy. To control two-or more-would drain us of everything we possess.

On the other hand, if this child is to lack powers, as the tales sometimes say, it would be unable to draw energy, life. It would be weak in nature and therefore unable to defend itself from those who do it harm. Our balance could be destroyed in any event, and that is what we must work to avoid. The well-being of our kind as a whole, the balance of the kingdoms, must not be compromised. We must now hold our natures aside and encompass both reason and logic for the task we are faced with. What must be done, to ensure the safety of our kind, all of our kind, including the child soon to come.”

“The child is a burden in any case. If the others hear of this, it will be only a matter of time before they begin to take action, claiming the child as their own in use for battle- a war between our kinds. Even more, when the Morseth hear of this, surly they will do anything necessary to possess such an elemental with potential powers greater than even those of ourselves. What, after all, would we stand to do in a war lead with such power as to overpower the high council? And in the case the child has no power at all, it is to be weak and sickly, never able to draw the energy needed to fully heal itself, ward off sickness or fight in battle when battle should find it. Would putting it through either of these lives really be in its best interest? A mercy or a punishment?” Though Tangora’s voice was low one could not miss the rage that dripped from her words down into the table before them, lacing around Adomas, pulling him to his feet and into the discussion.

“We cannot kill it, Tangora! It is but a child and we are basing these accusations and theories on mere rumors. Stories! What if the child should be like any normal elemental, one power replacing the other? What if we were to kill it for no reason what so ever, except for stories?” Zyphoro studied the two, Adomas and Tangora, so completely opposite.

Neree took it upon himself to speak next. “We cannot kill the child. We are not evil, Tangora. However, we cannot ignore the little we do know or all we have heard, and treat this like any normal elemental. We do not know and so one else must know of this baby, save those who have no choice -us, and the mother.”

“Neree, surly we cannot keep a child hidden here its entire life, or until we know for certain what we are encountering?”

“No, Iara, that we cannot. The child must be raised outside of our kingdoms- all of our kingdoms. We must leave the child to live among the humans. The others must never set eyes on it; they must never suspect. We must watch this child as it grows in order to observe the full extent of its powers, if any. To keep it safe from those who wish it harm or to use it as a tool of destruction or power. It is, after all, one of us.”

“And what of the mother? She will never agree to this.” Avaneese was on the verge of tears, already predicting the answer to her question.

“The mother will not have a choice in the matter. This shall be punishment enough- I suspect a lesson will forever be learned. There will be no need for more ramifications on the matter. “

Avaneese could hold it in no longer, tears leaked from her eyes, down her cheeks and fell into her lap. The air felt so heavy, pressing on her from all directions. To carry your baby, to nourish it with your very own blood. To keep it warm with your very own body. To love it so unconditionally that you would give anything to keep it safe, your own life, only to have it taken from you before the first touch. Would she get a chance, even, to hold it in her arms? To kiss its head, its fingers, its skin so soft and perfectly pink? Time to study its every nook, every curve, every perfect imperfection before her heart would be ripped from her chest? Before they took her everything away with no plans of a return? Her heart too was breaking.

Mara sat waiting for the door to open, desperately listening though she knew it was pointless. She had been here for nearly two hours and had failed to hear a single word. Her stomach felt heavy to her, awkward. The bottom of her belly bared a bump she had never seen before the last few weeks. She had never expected this to happen, never hoped for it, and yet here she was...sitting, waiting, suffering. If she was to say it were not in part for herself she would be lying, and that was one thing Mara did not do- she would not lie. What she did was wrong on some level, but her feelings were real. She had loved Adel, in every way possible, and this was this was the consequence; a child born of mixed blood and fierce love. Surly that ought to count for something.

The room on any other occasion would prove to be most comfortable with its ample supply of seating. Rich, velvet curtains loosely covered the massive windows and fell to the hard, wooden floor. It was unfortunate, she thought, as she did love the sunlight. Unable to help herself, she stood to run her hand along the deep amber chaise across from her- the shade resembled the highlights in Adel's hair. A pain shot through her heart and a tear fell weakly from her eye bringing the bright green pigments dancing to the surface. She had loved with all of her heart and without caution. She had loved carelessly. Now here she was, paying for it in ways she did not even know.

The door screamed when it opened, jolting her from her thoughts and the council flowed into the room. They were radiant and even through her pained vision, she could tell this much; perfect in every way. They were strong and powerful. They flowed with an unnatural grace, almost as if they were not touching the ground at all, but floating just above it. Taking their seats around one of the deep wooden tables resting in the room, Iara gestured for her to join them before she started to speak.

"We have come to a decision. As you well know, Adel and yourself have broken an important law of our kind, perhaps the most important one of all. Not only have you disregarded the elemental boundaries, but you have created a child of which none of us can predict the outcome with any amount of certainty. The possibilities are endless. Tales have been passed down of mixed children possessing powers far too great to be controlled yet also of children who bear no power at all. These powerless babies grow into weak children who suffer a painful existence until they meet an untimely, unkind end. This child could bring war between our kingdoms. It could entice us to turn on our brothers and sisters for power. A war between kinds. We do not like to admit this possible, but any logical mind can see that it is indeed a valid concern. Even if we did manage to avoid a war between ourselves, we could not avoid a war with the Morseth. If they were ever to hear of this it would only be a matter of time before they came for the child themselves, possibly even the Torturi. They would not look past the possibility of possessing such great power. You do understand our concern, do you not?”

Mara felt as if her heart was being cut open, pain searing, burning in her chest. Her throat was on fire as she tried to swallow around the lump quickly forming, cutting off her breath. Her eyes were burning and the room was quickly blurring before her.

“Our decision has been made. You will remain here, out of sight from the rest of the kingdoms. We will tell the others that you have left to rid yourself of child and recover before you return to your old life. Here we will nurse you; Avaneese and Adomas will perform the delivery themselves. When the child is here, we will then place it in the care of a human, in their world. There, the child will grow, showing either the extent of its power or the lack there of. If the child is to have little or even no power, then it will live a safe life in the short amount of time it has with the least possible suffering. If it proves to be too powerful, we will deal with it then, provided more information. No one must know of this, not a single word must ever leave your lips. Do we have your word?”

Mara had no idea how she found her voice or words to use, her heart was broken indeed. She was unsure if she could ever feel any emotion again after this day. Her hearts capacity full to the brim and leaking its own sorrowful tears. “And Adel, what of him?”

The second it took Neree to speak seemed to take an eternity for. “You shall never see him again. He, too, is never to know of this decision. If he is to find out, further actions will be taken. You do understand our position, don't you? We are not a cruel and unjust kind. We wish this did not have to be so. It would be wonderful if we could rise above silly desires, greed and power. Our existence would be much more bearable, would it not? Still, as we are now, we cannot seem to do so. Please be confident in us. We will do all we can to make sure your child is happy and well taken care of. Avaneese has volunteered to find the human who will be blessed with the baby. If any of us can do it, it will be her.”

Mara couldn't see anything. Breathing was all she could think about. Every breath left a pain in her chest and her body was quickly numbing. Disoriented, she tried to focus through wet eyes. Her body felt as if it was made of stone, heavy. She could see Iara, she could see her mouth moving but she had not heard a word after “never.” As she tried to understand, straining her eyes and mind to focus, everything went dark and she had a sudden feeling of falling through the floor, endlessly falling, and then she felt nothing at all.

Chapter Two:

All the Right Reasons

It was night when Mara next woke, opening her eyes to a window placed directly in front of her bed. Well, this was not her bed, but it was comfortable. It was big, very big with giant wooden pillars on each corner, aiding to hold up the dark green velvet draped around her -a canopy. Her bed at home had a canopy of green as well, but hers was a softer green, whimsy with flowers laced into the fabric. She missed waking to the simple beauty of them falling around her in a room far less extravagant.

The room so woke in now, like the council chamber she had waited in, was marvelous; too marvelous to be home. The many windows were covered in long draping sheets of velvet shining in the moonlight. The room was mostly greens, reds and golds. The walls held intricate designs that she could not quite make out in the dark. She could feel the plush pillows behind her head and back supporting her weary body. The bed itself was like a giant pillow, soft and welcoming. She touched the heavy comforter covering her body and was reminded of the soft, cool feel of flower petals -satin. Everywhere she looked, more rich colors and elaborate designs coated the scenery. Mara noticed a shadow darker than the rest, resting in a corner. Only when the shadow began to stir did she realize it was not a shadow at all, but another person.

“You have been sleeping for many hours, I thought it best to let you rest.” It was Avaneese’s warm voice coated in motherly concern that fell to her ears. Of all the council members who could have been here waiting for her to awake, she was glad it was her, though on second thought she was not entirely sure any of the other members save perhaps Adomas would have actually come to wait.

“Yes. Thank you.” She found herself unable to form more thought for words. Though she was grateful for her concern, she was still hurt. She was still resentful. She did not know if she would ever be able to form entire thoughts or hold a conversation with these people again. If she would ever truly be okay. Ever truly be herself.

Avaneese could feel the pain Mara was harboring as if it were a thick fog, cold and sharp, almost solid, filling the room wave after wave. “I truly am sorry, you know. It was not my first choice, or my last. I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to find the perfect human. Loving and sweet. Someone who will cherish your child, treat it as their own. Of this I give my word.”

“Thank you.” She felt a bit silly saying this again, as if it were the only think she knew how to say. At the moment, it was the only thing she could bring herself to say, and just barely. She did not bother to try for anything better.

“Mara, I do not know what to say to console you. I am not certain there is anything at all capable of mending your heart now. I feel terrible. I know you must feel a million times worse and for that I am truly grieving. Know that you can tell me anything. That I am here for you always. I will do anything in my power to help you back from this place you are now set in. This hollow darkness you are lost within. All you have to do is ask.”

Avaneese would do as she said, of that she was sure. She was a kind woman, chosen by the council before her to fulfill a duty to the Elemental Kingdoms as a whole -including everyone within them. Her life too was taken from her, replaced by a life of decisions she did not always enjoy making. Suddenly she felt sorry for her actions. She did not regret loving Adel, but perhaps she did not make the right choices. It was because of choices such as hers, from all of the kingdoms, that Avaneese was never to be an entirely happy person. A twinge of guilt coursed through her protruding belly for the woman who sat forgiving in front of her. Who fought for her mercy. Who sat at her bedside all these hours to be here at the moment she awoke to aid her in her recovery and assure her as best she could that everything would work out. Who promised to do all she could to help. It was because of people like her, and choices as hers, that Avaneese was here in this council chamber never given a choice on how she is to spend her life, or even the opportunity to make the wrong choice like so many others. She was to spend the rest of her time with the council, making decisions and dealing punishments, tearing away at her heart little by little. She wondered how much of it was left beating in her chest, and how she was able to sit here still caring for those who have condemned her to such a fate -still loving of them. Rising from her chair next to Mara, Avaneese sat down on the bed placing her hand gently on Mara’s hardened stomach. “It will be alright, Mara. I give you my word-on my life.” Looking into the deep green eyes staring back at her, Mara gave into yet another sea of tears. They slid down her cheeks and fell to her chest in hot, heavy streams of pain- not only for all she had loved and lost, but for Avaneese and the life she now lives by the choices she and others have and will continue to make so carelessly.

“Hush, my darling- this is not the end. Time will go on and bit by bit your heart will heal. Not completely, but enough to survive. Be calm and steady in your belief that it will work out in the end. Things always do.”

“And what of Adel, what will happen to him?”

“The council is discussing it now. I have given Adomas my vote to play, while I sit here with you. Do not be distressed, Adomas will not allow anything truly horrible to happen to him.”

“How can you be so sure? How do you know the council members will pay any mind to him? There are six others in there who do not promise the same."

“Do not mistake Adomas’ kindness for weakness. When he chooses to be, Adomas can be just as strong and fierce as any of them. Not to mention he is very persuasive. I have faith in him and so should you. Rest your heart that he will find mercy in the council for your dear Adel."

“And my baby. What of it? I could not bear to never be near it again, to have it taken. I don't think I could go on. There must be another way!”

Avaneese looked through blurry eyes at Mara before she responded with the little bit of voice she could muster for such a response.

“Of the child, there is not. Having it placed in the hands of a human was the best anyone could convince of the council. Of all the things that could have happened, really this is a good choice. Someone will be sent to live inconspicuously among the humans to watch over the child. An observer. They will send word back of how the child is progressing and what its powers are proving to be. They will also send word of anything the child is in need of. Your baby will live comfortably and will be loved dearly. Remember that, if nothing else.”

Mara had a thought. It seemed to bounce around in her head in pieces, slowly, dizzily forming. She was not sure she could do as she was willing herself to do. She was not sure she could live that way, but then again, she was not sure she could live at all after today.

“What if I were to go? What if I was to watch over my baby? If I was to report back on the matter and make sure it had everything. Perhaps then I could at least go on living, knowing for certain that it was okay.”

“To do that, you would be sent to live among the humans. Their world is not as peaceful as ours. The elemental connections are not as strong there. You would not be as strong. You would also have to bear witness your baby loving another as its mother, while you loved it with a mother’s heart, never able to act on it. Do you really think this is something you could stand to do?”

Mara was not sure at all. She did not know if she could bear to watch her baby grow in the arms of another woman. To call another woman mother and love this other woman as fiercely as Mara already loved her unborn child, but she was certain she could do nothing else. She could not live without at least knowing her baby was loved so much it proved painful for her. She knew that it was indeed her only choice. “Yes.”

Avaneese looked into Mara’s eyes. They were different now. They were still wet and that bright, marvelous green, but they were no longer lifeless. She had a plan and her eyes showed as much. She was now hopeful and her mind was working behind her lashes.

Avaneese was not sure this was such a good idea- so many things could go wrong. Mara may not be able to hold herself back from the baby. A mother’s love is strong, perhaps stronger than anything else Avaneese had ever herself encountered. What if she was unable to channel enough energy from her element? Was she strong enough to form a connection there? Even if she was able to ground herself in their world, when the time came to report any signs of danger, could she be faithful? Would she be able to give the council truth when it came to the fate of her child? Sitting so close she could feel that Mara was a particularly strong elemental. Perhaps harnessing the energies would not be so difficult for her there after all. She also believed her to be honest. Mara did not, after all, lie.

The decision came slowly and with effort, pulling and tugging mercilessly, but it came nonetheless. She would present this to the council who would refuse. Tangora and Endellion would be lost in a tangent of disbelief. Iara and Neree would sit idly in thought, weighing the options. It would be Kastha and Zephyro who would be swayed most easily by the simplicity and ease of which the plan would be carried out. There would be no need to locate a Curator, who were becoming so hard to find now that the Gates were so few, and the secret of the child would not need to be shared with anyone outside the walls of the Council House. This is what would convince them otherwise- this and Zephyro and Kastha’s logic along with Adomas’ and her mercy. She had promised to do all she could, and She did not take lightly to lying either.

“Then I will leave you now to meet the council and propose this idea. A punishment was not needed in the case, but perhaps Tangora and Endellion will consider it as such, knowing how unfortunate it is to live among the humans. I do not think any of them could even bear the thought of it themselves. I will do my best and I will return the moment a decision is made, I give my word. For now, rest. You have had a long day and it would not do harm to call upon your element for strength. Your energies are dimming.”

Mara watched her rise from the bed and travel across the room to the doorway, a black shadow engulfed in the flickering light of the hall before disappearing completely. She felt suddenly cold and so alone in this big dark room until she felt that little bump at the base of her stomach give a kick. Placing her arms around it as if to cradle her unborn child, Mara knew she must always keep it safe, even if it included keeping information from the council. Even if it included betraying them. She would be a traitor to her kind for the sake of her child. She would risk her life to save her baby's. People make the wrong decisions, for all the right reasons, all the time. At that moment, Mara understood more than ever how that could be so. She had now done it twice.

Chapter Three:

A Beautiful Stranger

Avaneese came quietly through the doors and took a seat at the back of the room. No one had noticed her entrance they were so enthralled in their debate. Tangora, naturally, leading the offense but Adomas held steady. “He has broken one of the most important laws we provide! He has practically killed the child himself! Would you let a murderer free to do it again? Of course not! One must learn from his mistakes. If we tap him on the hand and treat him as a toddler, what conclusion will he make of this? That he can break any lesser law and receive even less of a punishment? This is absurd! Your heart is bigger than your head Adomas, and that is not a good thing!”

“So we should banish a man for loving someone he was not supposed to? There have been plenty of things you have done, Tangora, that I am sure you regret. Do we punish you so severely for it?”

“The only things I have ever done which hold regret to me, I do for the laws of our kingdoms. I kill to protect people. I slay the darkness at the Kingdom’s hands! I too am but a tool, so do not sit before me as if you are any better than the rest of us. I am the one left to deal the punishments and make the choices you are too weak to bear. When a traitor is brought to the council, a neighbor to us, I am the one looked at to dispose of them. I am the one who hears his pleas, looks him in the eyes and still must do as I was sent to do. Do not think that my heart does not beat the same as yours, Adomas! Do I not bleed the same shade as you? Some of us just know that our heads are placed above our hearts for a reason.”

Hearing this, Avaneese felt a slight pity for Tangora. It is true that the rest of them had always held the assumption when such a gruesome fate was deserved, Tangora would be the one to serve it. She was, after all, strong and vengeful, always ready to strike her opponent, competitive to a fault sometimes. The most feared on their council for many reasons. Perhaps they were wrong in doing so -unfair.

She remembered a few years ago when Tangora’s childhood friend, Dergon, had been exposed as a long time traitor to the kingdoms. He had been in alliance with the Morseth for years, stealing away with their secrets, providing the them with weak points in the kingdoms which they could use for entrance. That was the most enraged Avaneese had ever, and has ever seen Tangora. She was a fire herself, fierce and ferocious, ready to claw her way through walls to get to him. Screaming, crying, she had bared her sword and with one quick, strong thrust, pierced his heart.

She remembered the scene as if it was before her now; Dergon clutching the blade in front of him, the end protruding from his back. His eyes were wide, as if in disbelief, and so dark that she wasn't sure they were not completely black as they rolled from his friends face to the sky above. Blood quickly spilled through his chest, around the blade and to the floor as pitiful, choking noises escaped his stained lips. She remembered Tangora staring into those eyes, tears spilling freely but silently. She had thought the look of disbelief along with the tears were due to the shock and rage of knowing her closest friend had betrayed her. Now she thought, perhaps, it was because she thought by acting on the command of the council, she had betrayed her friend. Regret.

Kastha’s grey eyes moved across the room, resting for a moment on each council member before she began to speak. “I do not agree that any more deaths are needed today. I do, however, agree with Tangora that a punishment must be dealt. My proposal is that Adel must never again see Mara. We would not banish him from his kingdom, but from any others. He will remain in his land as to avoid any further mishaps. Not only that, but he will never freely love another woman. He will not be permitted to marry or to bear another baby. He will never know the love a father will hold for a child, or that a child would hold for a father, as punishment for the one he has already created. He will be reminded daily of his actions, as he rests his eyes upon the people surrounding him. His life will not be taken, but he will live a life of little happiness. He will not get the pleasures he wishes for and will know little of love. This, I believe to be fair.”

Adomas thought hard of this. Would Adel rather lose his life than live with such consequences? Would living be worth it, if you were never to love? His head was starting to ache and he knew he must call upon the energies soon to regain a bit of the what he had lost today. He had a feeling that the council was not going to be any more lenient, and so Adomas agreed, knowing that this was not the end. He had lost the battle, but this was not the end of the war…not even close.

Avanees sat gazing at Adomas in complete admiration. His strength was apparent to her in his perfect posture, the way he was able to take what others would see as defeat as a set back and not be the least bit tempted to give up. She was positive this was not the last the council would be hearing of Adel. Adomas, when he wished, was a fierce opponent- both on the battlefield and at the table.

She chose this moment to greet the council. Leaning forward in her seat she calmly directed her attention to those around her. “Good evening to all of you. It seems you have had a rather long discussion of Adel’s fate.”

The council sat steady, curious as to Avaneese’s thoughts and intentions. It was not like her to encourage more of a debate. She was too tender hearted to put herself in such bitter situations when unnecessary. Looking into her eyes, they could see her mind spinning -something was there and waiting to breach the surface.

“I too, have a proposal.”

Tangora, now intrigued more than ever, leaned forward in her seat, her blade, ever ready, making a slight clinking sound as it came in contact with the massive wooden table before her. “Yes?”

“Yes. As we agreed before, the child to be born will have to be sent to live among the humans. We also have come to an understanding that the child will also need to be watched, word of its progress sent back. It’s needs also taken care of.”

Zephoro was intrigued and a bit uneasy, “And so what do you propose, Avaneese?”

Looking him in the eyes, his cool grey stare steadily holding her gaze, she began to speak. “I propose, in punishment, Mara to be sent to live as a human. To watch her child grow in the arms of another. To report back of the child’s progress. I propose Mara bear witness to the fate she has condemned her baby to. Not only will this guarantee that she never make the same mistake again, endangering the existence of our entire world, but it would ease the burden placed on us as the High Council of locating and obtaining a Curator for the unfortunate task. There would be no need for a blood oath. No need to share such dangerous information with another soul. It is the most logical option.”

The cruelty from Avaneese's lips shocked him further back into his chair. It was not that what she proposed was unjust- in truth they had treated Adel in the same regard- but this was not typical of Avaneese. “We have agreed that no further punishments need to be taken, Avanees. It is out of character for you to crave such consequences. What has changed your heart?” He could not help but wonder where this was coming from. Her mind did not work this way -she was gentle and understanding. What she spoke of now was something he would expect of Tangora, but never her.

Looking him straight in the eyes, she willed him to understand and see the reasoning in her proposal. Reasoning on both sides of the debate. A punishment and a sacrifice, spun and laced together, to form the same decision. She knew she couldn't lie to them and so the truth was the only option she had. She hoped that it would be enough to sway the majority. “This is as Mara wishes. She would rather live as a human, weak and alone, than die here of a broken heart. Can you not see that if she is to remain here, among us, constantly fearing for her child, she would not survive? It would be impossible for her body to supply itself with all of the energies needed to function. She would be dead in a matter of weeks, days even. Must we make her suffer such an end?”

The council sat in silence. To Avaneese’s amazement, it was Tangora who now spoke.

“If we were to accept and utilize such a proposal, it is true we would not need worry of finding a Curator willing to take on this task. No one else would suffer but those to be punished. We would not worry so much of others gaining knowledge of the situation, but is she to be trusted?”

Tangora’s question was directed towards Avaneese. It was quite literally a question, not a thought to bestow upon the council. Avaneese stood with a false confidence as each member stared into her eyes with speculation. Could she be trusted? Would Mara, if need be, do the right thing? She spent little time on her internal debate before giving the best answer she could. Her eyes rested on no one. It would seem that she was looking at something not there, as if watching a story unfold in pictures before her that no one else was able to see. When she next spoke, her voice held a note of conviction, tinged with doubt. Tangora thought perhaps she was the only one to hear it as Avaneese brought her gaze back to the council. “I believe, when the time comes, Mara will always do what is right.”

She took a breath to steady herself as each person seated around the table looked to the next, determining wordlessly if this idea, this false punishment, this mercy, was in the best interest for all involved.

Iara brushed her hair aside carelessly as she began to speak. “I believe the decision is unanimous. Mara is to be kept here, hidden, until the child is born. While we are waiting, Avaneese will take action in finding the human of whom the child is to be placed with. A home must be secured close by and plans made for Mara’s transfer. A tale carefully spread through the kingdoms: Mara is to be condemned to the human world, not for the task she now holds, but in punishment for the law she has broken. The others must never be the wiser on the actual matter. Do we all agree?”

As the table echoed in agreement Avaneese felt as if the room was a million times brighter, sweeter and less heavy. Mara was not truly to lose her child, but would be able to watch it grow, even if from afar. As she stood to take her exit, Avaneese thought again of Tangora’s question.

“…but is she to be trusted?”

For a fleeting moment, a bitter doubt plagued her heart, casting a shadow ever so slightly on her mind. Quickly pushing her doubt aside, she hurried down the long dark corridors, twisting and turning for what felt like forever before coming to stand quietly in front of Maras’s door -Maras’s new home, for the time being.

To anyone but the council members, the walk from the conference room to Mara’s door would be very confusing and to some, even a bit frightening. The halls were dark, lit only by the large windows that in the day provided more than enough light, but now, in the darkness, only the distant moon and stars graced the glass, sending soft beams to dance along the wooden floor and lush red carpets. To Avaneese, this walk was second nature.

Growing up in the Council House provided its advantages. She could defeat anyone in a hands on battle as well as an elemental one. She knew the history of the kingdom in its entirety, from the first written documents, and even before when the tales and lessons were shared by tongue, to the present. She knew the plants and flowers and hills of every land as well as the medicinal uses for everything found in the kingdoms and the rumors of those outside. For this she had given away her childhood. Her friends were the other council members. Over the years they had formed a sort of family serving as the council, but she had never really had the chance to make other friends or to choose a friend for herself -to decide completely on her own. Sleep overs and birthday parties were extremely limited to those members of the council and family, of course. When a family member was to celebrate a day of birth, the council apprentice could be granted leave for the day, escorted by their Maven, but they always came back.

Their education and preparation for the tasks ahead of them was of the utmost importance. Once they knew all their Maven had to offer, their Maven would step down, passing the hold of the kingdoms down in a crowning ceremony. It was not the crown, however, that was the excitement- it was the necklace. Passed down from Maven to student, is a necklace; a simple glass ring hung from a black cord with the ability to both store and locate great amounts of energy. When anything enters the kingdoms, if the energy is strong enough to be of danger, the rings will change to the color of the energies found, alerting the Council of the intrusion and urgent need for protection. It will also help the Maven to seek its student, as the next apprentice will hold great energies and potential power. That is how Avaneese was found, of course.

Her Maven was visiting her village when Avaneese bumped into him in the local market while sifting through some spices she was intending to use in a tea to sooth her sisters aching throat. Looking up to apologize to him, she noticed his great height and eyes almost as green as her own. He was broad shouldered and his skin was dusted a light brown by the sun. Every line and curve of his face was perfect, and still he held no arrogance. The kindness radiating off of this man was almost as obvious as the look of confusion on his face. Stuttering an apology, Avaneese took her leave, quickly purchasing her spices and heading home to tell her older sister, Rayne, of the man she had seen. She remembered describing him to her sister while making the tea, Rayne asking question after question and Avaneese supplying answers as best she could with the little information she actually held and they both laughed and teased each other as sisters do. This was the last childhood conversation she had had, as that night, as they sat around the meal table a knock came from the door. When her father came back into the kitchen he was followed by the handsome stranger she had described to her sister, who seemed to finally be piecing the story together. A look of admiration and terror flooded her otherwise beautiful face and protectively grabbing Avaneese’s hand, she stood, gracefully and to anyone not on the other end of her hand, calmly leaving the room, sister in tow. Later that night Avaneese’s parents called them downstairs and into the sitting room which now housed the beautiful stranger they giggled over not too many hours ago. The beautiful man she now feared, wishing upon everything her child’s heart could think of that this man did not want with her what her sister suspected. That he did not really want to take her away from her family, to raise her in the Council House, to teach her daily how to fight the Morseth? How to kill? To have daily lessons of History and Science? Mathematics? To leave her family and one day guard the kingdoms against those who posed harm and perhaps even lead in the battle everyone knew would someday come to their homes. That is, however, exactly what he wished of her. She had little choice if any, and would be leaving in just 4 days.

“Dear Avaneese, I beg of you, do not fear me. Do not think me cruel to do this, as I wish I never had to, but as it is my duty to find you and one day pass to you the Ring of Omnituens, it is your duty to come to the Council House and learn all that you can. The world will depend on you someday. Your family will depend on you someday and one day you will be faced with a decision to do what is right or what is easy. Some people will not like you for the choices you make. Some people will wish you harm. You will question yourself endlessly, but in the end you will make the right choice. This life will never be easy, as long as there is greed and evil, selfishness in the kingdoms, but you must always remember that there is a choice. I will teach you all I know; how to defend yourself when you need to and more importantly, how to know when you need to. When you are faced with battle, big or small, you will be nearly invincible, but this does not mean to fight every battle. You must pick the ones which truly matter and never abuse your teachings. Do you understand what I ask of you, Avaneese? Do you understand what you must do?”

Avaneese looked up from her hands for the first time. It was not long ago that her sister had pulled her from the table, up the stairs and into their room, outraged and terrified. This had been what she had feared. Avaneese would be taken to live at the council house, to learn the life of the High Court. To fight in battle, if battle came, and provide the kingdoms with decisions they feared too much to make themselves. The man sat in front of her, eyes unwavering. He was sad, she saw, but admiration was behind his sadness. She wondered what it was he was thinking, as he sat with such mixed emotions.

“What of my family? Must I never see them again?”

Laughing just a hint, his eyes brightened a bit. “Dear girl, is that the most of your worries? Of course you will see your family. Whenever you wish to see them, all you must do is tell me and we will arrange for travel. We are not a cruel, inhumane bunch you know. Kindness is actually one of the characteristics detected by the ring. You will even like it, once you get used to it. There is already one other child there, training. Her name is Tangora, and I expect all this training is no good for her. She must have a friend to occupy herself with, before her sword should grow into her hand.”

Avaneese felt a bit better about the choice she was making, but, was it the right one? She did not know for sure. Her mind buzzed with possibilities and scenes of battle, swords, Morseth, classrooms, Tangora.

“How do you know I will make the right choice?”

Looking down on the child in front of him, wide, curious eyes staring up intently, he knew that he had indeed read the ring correctly. “Because the ring has chosen you. Because you question the choice you are making, but in the end, will make it none the less. Because you will always do what is right, as opposed to what is easy.”

“Can what is right, not also be what is easy?”

“If what is easy was right, I don’t suppose it would be much of a choice, would it? It would seem in my experience, when something right is also easy, it is just accepted. When a choice is to be made, it is because the right choice is not the easy one.”

“And you think I will always do what is right, and make the right choice?”

“I do, but do you?”

Avaneese considered this for a moment before looking around her family’s sitting room. She had spent so much time here with them. It was odd, this intruder here, sitting among them. There was no laughter tonight as there usually was. Her parents were quiet, her sister seemed to be holding her breath, her cheeks moist from silent tears. It was going to hurt to see her sister cry, perhaps more than anything she had ever felt before. It was going to be hard leaving her home, her parents. Hard to be taken to strangers in a strange house, to learn to fight when she had never even had the urge to hit a pillow. It was going to break her heart, but it was the right choice. She wondered if you could truly die from a broken heart.

“Yes, I suppose I will.”

The choice had been made, tears had been shed and Avaneese had left with the handsome stranger exactly four days later.

Slowly opening the door as not to disturb her, she entered the room. Mara was again sleeping, her body curled slightly to the side, head and back raised up at a small angle by the massive pillows thrown behind her. Noticing Mara's arms placed carefully around the bottom of her protruding stomach, as if cradling her unborn baby -protecting it from the harsh world around it, she knew she had made the right decision. Avaneese did in fact believe that in the end, Mara would always make the choice to do what was right. The problem was that Avaneese was not sure, in the end, what the right choice would be.

Chapter Four:

Fire

Sunlight tingled teasingly on her skin warming the cold room as she rolled to her back, not yet opening her eyes. To open her eyes would mean losing the moment, this peaceful, tranquil moment, and hurtling back to reality where sorrow and consequence danced hand in hand. The blanket was heavy and the bed was soft but she knew it couldn't last. Stretching her back she willed her eyes open. The room looked the same as it had last night, but somehow felt different. It was less foreboding in its colors and design, and a bit more luscious. Darkness always had a way of coating everything with a tinge of fear, just as light had a way of making locked rooms seem welcoming.

She felt stronger this morning, but hollow, as if she were but a shell, a vessel being operated by someone else. Her movements were basic; walking, breathing, seeing. She did not feel like speaking. She felt perhaps, that even if she tried, her words would not escape. They would remain trapped in her throat, a prisoner to her sorrow. She pressed her hand to the bottom of her neck, rubbing in small circles. It was sore, very sore, reminding her of all the tears she had shed the night before. Reminding her of Adel, who she would never see again. He would think she abandoned him. That she did not really love him as she swore she did. That she no longer cared for him- or his punishment. What would his punishment be? Would it be as horrible as hers? Could it somehow be worse?

Oh, Adel, with his perfectly chiseled face. Beautiful dark eyes that burned with such intensity it was as if you were looking at a fire itself. You could almost feel the heat radiating from those eyes if you dared stare long enough. Tall and strong, yet, soft and gentle. Fierce if need be. She had feared him once, before she heard his voice. Everything Adel said was like music. He held a grace to his words and a voice so beautiful your heart would skip a beat and you were forced to remind yourself to breath. Her Adel, who loved her to a fault. Who gave her such happiness as she had never known before. Who gave her a baby. A baby who would now be taken from her, who’s fate was not sound. Mara knew that she would do anything she must to protect her child, her last tiny piece of Adel and his love. What she would do if need be, would be punishable by death. In comparison, death did not seem so horrible.

Finally sitting up, she noticed a table across the room placed in front of the large open windows. Someone had opened them while she was sleeping. It was a little unnerving to know that she had slept so sound while someone, anyone, had been in her room opening windows and who knew what else? On the table was a shining silver food tray. Suddenly she was starving, not haven eaten since the day before yesterday. Her stomach had been in turmoil, twisting and knotting, fluttering all day and night. The vast wooden floor had a slight chill to it as she stood from the bed. Her legs felt stiff and alien, as if she had never used them before. Walking gracelessly to the table, she wondered and rather hoped it had been Avaneese who had left this for her.

As she got closer to the window the sunlight grew stronger, wrapping her in its brilliance, warming her to her core. She closed her eyes, allowing the energy to tingle through her, traveling from her hands to her shoulders, to her chest and stomach until finally finding its way to her feet and consuming her entire body in its warm, strong familiarity. Mara felt physically better, but her heart was still heavy. At least her appetite had been restored this morning. Placing her hand on the top of the tray she lifted the lid slightly exposing the contents. Waffles. Her mother had made her waffles on special mornings when she had been a child. Now she made them for herself. It was oddly one of her favorite comfort foods, instantly soothing her, reassuring her. Her heart panged and she longed for her mother and the safety she had come to represent. If she had still been here, would Mara have done what she had done? Thinking about it, she realized she would have. She loved Adel, and her mother would have known that.

She found a small wooden chair and brought it to the table. The room smelled wonderful this morning. Taking the time to lift the cover fully off of the tray and place it to the side, she found along with waffles, sausage and two white ramekins; one containing syrup and the other a mixture of berries and melon. Instantly her stomach began to rumble. Picking a ripe raspberry from the bowl, she gazed at it admiringly for just a moment, plump and juicy, perfectly raspberry red, before popping it into her mouth. Amazing. She wondered if it was the food itself that tastes so magically wonderful here on the Island of the Council House, or the fact that she was so starved which made it seem heavenly.

When she had realized that her stomach was full beyond capacity, she looked down at her plate. She had eaten almost everything and it had indeed been a large portion. She had never before eaten so much -that she could remember anyways. Placing her hand atop her growing belly, she thought to herself of the life growing inside her. She thought of the life she wished she could have: her and Adel together, loving their child. Buying it toys and picking out tiny little clothes. Teaching it everything she knew about the elements, her element…but what element would it possess? Hers or Adel’s? Both? Neither? For the first time, she began to see what the council feared so much. What had she done? If her baby were to be harmed, weak or dangerous, it was to be her fault. She did not think she would ever be able to forgive herself if something were to happen to her baby.

She wondered if it would seem ridiculous to others, this all consuming love and adoration she felt for her unborn child. It was a love she had never felt before, so strong it felt dangerous to herself. It was as if it literally burned inside of her, a fire so brilliant it was beyond beautiful, majestic even as it burned through her soul completely with the ability to send everything she had ever known or felt up in its blaze of flames, dulling it in comparison almost to the point of non-existence. She wondered if this was the love people talk about when they talk about their child, or if it was something else entirely. If they would think it absurd to love something so much, so dangerously, that you have never even set eyes upon.

Looking out the window, Mara decided she had been in this room too long entirely. Looking around she spotted a beautiful green dress laid over the back of a chair. Someone must also have known she would need something to wear when they brought her breakfast. Mara felt a warmness spread through her for just a moment. They did try to be kind, even in the most unpleasant situations. To live your life on this Island, to give yourself so entirely to their kind -Mara felt a stirring admiration and sorrow for them. Getting up she walked across the room to the chair, realizing that her movements were much more graceful. The dress was beautiful. A soft green color with an ivory sash that wrapped just above her protruding belly, tying behind her back. It had thin straps to be placed over her shoulders and a slight curve down right under her collarbone. Suddenly feeling dirty in it's presence she made her way around the room, finally spotting the bathroom behind one of the big oak doors left slightly ajar. Taking the dress with her she slipped inside.

It was magnificent. It was almost as large as the bedroom, containing stone walls and floor, with soft, plush ivory carpets here and there. In the center of the room was a large stone tub cut from the ground. In the far back corner Mara saw a glass door set into the wall. Upon opening it, she realized it was a shower, holes cut into the stone ceiling and along the floor. Counters lined the entire length of the left wall, containing all kinds of bottles and baskets, with two sinks and another door to the back of the room provided a toilet. Towels were stacked by one of the large windows to the right of the room. As she walked away she noticed a door that had previously been behind her. Turning the knob and stepping inside, she was met with the largest closet she had ever seen, full of colorful clothing and soft, shiny fabrics. A shelf towards the back was full of shoes in every color and fashion. Feeling better than she did in days, Mara stepped back out deciding to take a quick shower and change, but promising herself that before the day was through, she would make use of that bath and perhaps even that closet.

Shedding her clothing she opened the shower door. The hinge gave a soft creek, causing her to wonder when the room had last harbored a guest. It is such a large house for eight people. Was this once one of the council’s childhood rooms, when their Mavens would have lived here with them? Remembering the small flowers hanging from the bed and the large windows overlooking the courtyards, she had a pretty reasonable idea of whose. The water took a minute to work its way up the abandoned pipes and down onto the stone floor. The soft, familiar pitter patter was a welcomed sound and she held out her finger tips testing the temperature before she stepped in and letting it wash away yesterday’s troubles- if only for a moment. Her cheeks once tight with dry tears began to loosen and her shoulders seemed a million times lighter. She was unaware of how tense she had become in the last twenty four hours. Her life was changing drastically; nothing was in her control. She found a small bar of soap on the built in shelf and haven forgotten to grab a cloth, lathered it into her hands and onto her body before stepping directly under the falling droplets. She was completely submerged in the warmth of the water dancing down from high above her head, encompassing her entire body as she scrubbed deep into her skin, as if she could scrub away her troubles- her mistakes. Wash away the last few months of her life and start fresh. Would she have done it again, knowing the consequences? She wasn’t sure.

As clean as possible she turned the water off. The air outside of the shower was cooler than she had expected and she quickly made her way to towels. Wrapping one around her newly developing body, she wondered who’s idea it was to place the towels in such a public view? Sighing with the reality that she would be here for quite some time, she decided it would be alright to place a few closer to the shower, away from curious eyes.

The dress was truly beautiful. No matter how many times she was to admire it, it still took her breath away. Slipping it over her head she wondered if it would fit. She pulled lightly on the bottom as not to tear the stitching in the case that it would be too small. Slowly but surely the hem made its way over her slightly protruding belly and down her thighs, resting just above her feet. The straps brushed lightly on her shoulders and the neckline hung a bit low due to her swelling chest, but that was to be expected. Of course none of the councils had ever been with child or in need of pregnancy clothing. Still, it was quite flattering to her figure. She now knew what people meant when they referred to pregnant woman as glowing. Even with all of the sorrow she was feeling, she was indeed radiant in the softly flowing fabric. She tied the white sash in a bow behind her back before searching the counter for a comb.

Her mother used to brush her hair. She used to hum and tell great stories at night while Mara sat silently listening before her. She missed this. She missed her. Usually she tried to push these thoughts and memories away just as quickly as they came. Today, she welcomed them. She wondered what her mother was thinking now, if anything at all. If she was okay. If she was alive or watching over her from somewhere else. What had happened to her? Mara would never forget that day…

She was fourteen and an only child. Her mother’s parents had passed years before Mara had been born and her mother being an only child herself, it had left her without aunts or uncles. Her mother was an unexpected child and when doctors were called to the house to confirm that her own mother was indeed carrying a baby, they did not think she would make it. Mara’s mother was well into her fifties and had already experienced a weakening of the heart. She recalled her mother telling her stories of her grandparents. They were fun loving people, kind and gentle. Her grandmother died when Mara’s mother, Delphi, was six and her father soon after. Some people believe it was of a broken heart. Her mother seemed to believe this also.

In Mara’s later years, she realized that this was probably the root of her mother’s irrational attachment and regretted the way she often acted. When her mother had errands to do in town, Mara would always be totted along, made to walk the journey through the villages and dragged to endless houses or shops where her mother would do small chores or trade for goods. It was on a day that Mara’s mother needed some lavender to make a scrub for a customer that she went missing. She had come into her small yellow room, insisting she dress and go to town with her. Mara had protested, claiming that she was practicing her remedies and all of her friends were allowed to stay home alone, questioning her mother’s trust. Delphi looked saddened. Her eyes showed the inner struggle to let go just enough to allow her child to grow out from under her shadows and after a moments debate, she gave a sad smile before kissing Mara gently on the head and telling her she would be back in an hour or so. That was ten years ago and Mara would never forgive herself for this.

The days passed slowly. The house was enormous, yet knowing that she was confined to the grounds made it feel so small. She wandered the halls losing herself in her mind. She had endless questions and no matter how hard she tried to focus on other things, the drapes, the lavish furniture she came across, the sunlight and shadows dancing like ghosts in these empty halls, they taunted her.

She was worried for Adel. She was terrified for her child. It occurred to her some time later that perhaps she should be fearing for herself, she had never had a child before but knew that labor was not enjoyable and so many things could go wrong. Again, she thought about her mother. She thought about returning to her room but the idea instantly sent a wave of dread through her chest. She couldn't sit there any longer than she had to. Though it was pretty and extravagant, holding every comfort imaginable, it was also her prison. She would spend the next hundred or so nights in that room, tossing and turning in that bed. Seeing Adel in all forms of torment and her child ripped from her body and torn from her arms. No, she would not go back there yet.

Hours seemed to pass as she walked and when she finally did decide to focus on where she had ended up, she realized that while lost in thought, shed gotten lost herself. Nothing here was familiar. Trying to think back to what direction she had originally started in, she could not recall. There were so many twists and turns in this house, if you could even call it that, halls upon halls and rooms upon rooms. She was sure that somewhere there would have to be secret passages and hidden hideaways. Her mind calmed as she heard a faint voice. She listened harder, trying to pinpoint where it had been coming from. Again she he could hear it, muffled and low. Male. Turning to the corridor on her right she followed it knowing it was the only for sure way she could once again find her room and perhaps a meal- her stomach had started to murmur its reproach about five turns back.

The corridor was long but brighter than the ones she remembered. Most of the windows, she noticed, were open, drapes pulled back allowing the sun and a slight breeze to brisk across her skin. It was so comforting to her to see the sunlight that she considered sitting in one of the plush red chairs scattered around small tables covered in miscellaneous objects; books, papers and pens scattered about. The voice sounded again, louder now, cutting through her thoughts and reminding her of her hunger. It was close, and within a few steps she encountered a half open door leading to a large, well lit room containing not one, but three voices.

Zephyro and Kastha sat together on a big white couch, Tangora lounging across from them, feet up on the chaise, sword across her stomach, tip on her toes, seemingly relaxed. It was odd to see them like this, it made her realize just how normal they were. There was no air of importance, no strict, polished posture. She wondered how many others had seen the group in such an informal state and it saddened her a little, to think that they were perhaps more like her and everyone else than imagined; with feelings and desires and regrets, yet held to an even higher standard. Judged even harsher than Mara herself. She listened a moment as they began to speak again. They were speaking of her and her child. Of Adel, who was never to marry and have a baby of his own. His punishment hit her hard. Gut wrenching, it took all of her strength not to cling to her stomach, collapsing onto the ground for a second time in the last twenty four hours. She could hear the sorrow heavy in Kastha's voice, and the lack of it in Tangora's. Pained, she wished the conversation to end. Lightly pushing open the door, she stepped cautiously into the room. With three a pairs of eyes suddenly on her, she felt small and insignificant, like a child caught spying. She had to catch her breath again before she could speak.

“I wasn't listening, I just got lost and was looking for a way back.”

Kastha stood from the couch and took a few steps towards her before taking her hand and leading her to an empty chair next to Tangora. “Of course not, but obviously you must have heard some of our conversation. Please know that I am sincerely sorry for what we must do. It is never my wish to bring pain to others, in any form. Especially to the heart and mind, as it has been my experience that they are the two which bear the deepest scars. I beg your forgiveness.”

Mara looked into her gray eyes and could see the pain it caused this woman to make the decision she had made. It pained Mara too, knowing that as they had broken her heart she had also broken theirs, yet Kastha sat here seeking her forgiveness.

“I do understand the decision, and I do forgive you and hope that you can forgive me also. It is I who forced it upon you. Still, that does not make it easier to bare. Must Adel truly suffer for eternity?”

Zephyro took Mara's hand and giving it a slight squeeze, he spoke with a voice dripping with remorse. “Yes, Mara, he must. It is unfortunate and possibly quite unfair. Because he is to remain here, he will be witness to the love of others, it will be forced upon him by simply living. However, just as he will be a witness to others, others will be a witness to him. It is a very serious crime to commit, and if others were to see him live happily ever after, as they say, what would prevent them from thinking the laws are not solid, that perhaps, they can bend to will and desire? It is an unjust world we live in. We are always searching for more, never satisfied with the blessings we do have. If living outside restriction were to be viewed as even a remote possibility, an uprising would not be long after. We eight were all brought here out of obligation, to hold our world together in a time when it is so difficult. Schooled to fight and burdened to make choices too painful for people better connected to our society. People with friends. Emotions cloud judgment and that is why we are kept here in this solitude.

Understand that it is not a privileged life we live. Yes, we have large grounds and many halls, but they are empty save the shadows. You are the first guest aside from family to stay for as long as I have been held here, and even they seem to come less and less. If I could trade places with a common peasant, I would do so. I would trade all the luxury in the world to never bring pain to another again, alas, that is not possible and so my heart will continue to break for you.”

If there was anything that could make Mara feel worse, it was hearing the grief in Zephyro's voice. Unknowingly she had brought so much pain to others and it wasn't even over. How hard it must be to constantly judge the lives of others, to make the decisions no one else wanted to. There was nothing she could say to this, nothing at all to ease his pain or her own, and so she looked to the ground wishing she could become invisible. Just that moment her stomach gave a low rumble and she remembered again how hungry she had become in the hours since she had left her shower.

Immediately Kastha jumped up, a bit of relief mixed into her eyes she took her hand and drew her up out of the chair. “You must be ravenous, you've missed lunch. Adomas went to collect you but you were not there. A downfall of such a large house- no one seemed to find people easily. Really we tend to keep to one wing, which makes it a bit easier to locate one another.”

Mara was a bit surprised at this. “I was unaware that we were to eat lunch together.”

“Oh yes, we eat all of our meals together. We are a family of sorts. It is one of the traditions we carried with us when we left our villages. It’s important to have social interaction, to discuss your thoughts and days, even more important to know someone cares enough to listen. I believe if we did not do this, our days would eat away at us even more than they do.”

Kastha said this jokingly, yet to Mara it seemed so sincere, as if she really did believe this with all of her heart.

“And no one thought perhaps that I had tried to escape?”

Kastha looked at her with a sudden curiosity. “Would you have?”

Considering for a second she came to the conclusion that she would not have. She had made these decisions and she would face the consequence. “No, I suppose not.”

It was then that Tangora got up, replacing her sword into her back harness and leading the way out of the room, but not before giving her opinion. “You wouldn't have made it out alive if you had. The waters would have taken you, if I didn't find you first.”

Tangora had no second thoughts turning her back to the person who's life she just threatened, but then again, why would she? She was tall and graceful, porcelain skin framing the darkest of eyes. She was strong with a thick red braid dancing down above her blade. She was a trained assassin and a smart one. Even as big as these halls were, she seemed to fill them easily and she possessed a ferocity like none Mara had ever seen. She was fire.

Chapter Five:

Aria

The more time I spent at the manor, the slower time seemed to move. In the months I’d been here time itself seemed a far off concept. Days blended together, sun into moon, and no one paid it much mind. There was no founded routine and the council went about their days with ease, knowing that they are not dictated by such an abstract concept; numbers on a clock, tick tock, tick tock.

At first I found it strange and unnerving; meetings in the night, strangers coming to call on business matters by moonlight, but now I found it freeing. Still, some nights were longer than others, when the halls were mostly quiet, but the company was pleasant enough.

Every now and then it would occur to me that these kind people were also my captors; the villains of my nightmares who haunted the halls of my dreams then walked with me through them by daylight. Sometimes it was hard to separate the two sides of them and then sometimes I wondered if I should at all. Though they were kind, the parts of them which haunted me also made me feel closer to them and not so alone in this huge place. The darkest parts of them were also the most familiar, the most human parts of them, when it felt all too often as if they were untouched by life, its sinful prints never smudging the surface of their demeanor. It was a confusing process of the mind, sorting through the emotions and the facts, when all too often I was naive to both.

And so I found my solace in the library, Endellion’s library, among the books and papers; the histories and the stories. Sometimes if I were lucky, I could completely forget where I was, why I was here and what would become of my life in just a few months’ time. While I was reading, I was someone else among persons unknown and as I sat there, submerged in the life of someone else, another life would kick me from within and I would again find myself prisoner and mother all the same.

As my belly grew and the seasons changed, I slept less and less, due both to discomfort and the unease in knowing the future; my future, Adele’s future, our baby’s future. My eyes stung with the yearning of sleep but my mind and heart were running away inside of me. I could feel myself growing colder and I wondered how it could be that surrounded by the kindest people I have ever crossed, I would become distant and closed from the world. Shutting it out, when I could, was my survival and it was becoming easier and easier as time passed. I knew I would break soon.

Slipping out of bed and into the darkness I pulled the warm green robe over myself and around my protruding belly before slipping out the door and into the hall on my way to the library, hoping to become someone else for a few hours before the sun rose and illuminated the truth again; I am just Mara, lover of Adele, mother of a child I will not have and may not know. Sinner of our kind, failure to my love, unknown to my baby.

As I walk down the hall enclosed in the darkness I feel myself begin to break and I quicken my steps, willing myself to just get to the library before it happens but I am too slow and soon my cheeks are moist with the sorrows of my world. A tear for each thought to cross my mind since being brought to this giant, hollow house with its dark empty halls to dark, lonely rooms. I slow again, there is no need to rush now, I have lost the battle with myself and consider turning back. Maybe this is a good thing, perhaps I was becoming too cold a person. Perhaps it needed to happen. Then I remind myself that if I am not to harden my heart before the baby comes, any pieces left will shatter and I will be of no use to her.

Her. It seems strange, but I know she will be a girl. She will have red hair and green eyes and when I look upon her face I will see her father’s fierce beauty cloaking this peaceful baby girl who will change the world. Of this I am sure. One way or the other, things will never be the same and I am not positive I am strong enough to keep my promises to Avanees. Not sure I can do the right thing, even if I believe it to be right at the time. Even if it saves our world and I wonder if this makes me a bad person or a good mother and if there is really much of a difference or just a fine line.

Lost in thought I find myself at the door to the library and walk inside slowly, making my way to the window seat where I so often read and dream, passing back and forth between the two. There are books already on the emerald cushions and so I walk passed the shelf, not concerned with what I will read as long as I am reading something. I do not notice that I am not alone until I am already curled in the window running my fingers along the pages of the old, dusty book on top of the pile.

I am not startled as I would have been in my old life, as I have grown to regard it. I have been here some time and there has never been anyone aside from the council and myself to find their way inside and I am not sure if it is because we are secured or because no one wishes for our company. When I look up from the pages, Endellion is on the couch with his own pile of books, watching me. He is not angry at being interrupted in his solitude, but rather amused. “I’m sorry, I did not know someone was here. I guess I should have realized when the light was on.”

He smiles and I know it is alright before he even begins; we’ve become friendly over my time here and it would seem he enjoys the distraction as much as I do.

“Don’t be silly, I fear I have done these books a great injustice keeping them here. I am usually the only one to take interest in the written word. I suspect they’re lonely, keeping so many secrets for so long. I should thank you for sharing in them.”

He was such a kind man and it was hard to find that fire in him which was so obvious within Tangora. His demeanor was gentle and kind and I am sure he could glamor the darkness itself given the chance. But his eyes, though they seemed lonely and sorrowful most often, every now and then I have seen ferocity behind the beautiful dark brown hue, waiting just below the surface and I remember that he is Tangora’s. They alone have a fire so brilliant within them that I have no doubt that together, they could set the entire world on fire.

I stare at him as I think of this, looking for that darkness within him, unable to find it. Perhaps I search a little too long and when I surrender, he has moved to the window next to me and I am suddenly aware of his proximity to myself. He looks concerned and hurt, confused and understanding all at the same time.

“You were weeping in the halls. Your cheeks are moist. I would ask you why your heart aches so, but I suspect I already know and am partially to blame.”

He looks down at his hands in his lap and again I wonder how he can be so fierce and so broken at the same time. Then it occurs to me that everyone here is broken somehow and we survive it together, as delicately balanced by one another as a house of cards, this house of broken hearts.

“I’ll be alright. Every now and then I feel unable to control my emotions and they sometimes get the best of me.”

He looks up at me, studying my face for a moment, deep in thought. “Perhaps that is because your emotions are the best part of you. We have been secluded for so long with only the company of each other that sometimes I fear we have lost the best parts of ourselves; our ability to feel as strongly as you do about everyday things, small pieces of life and not just those things which could destroy it.”

The way Endellion thought was always beautiful, but Iwas unsure he was right this time. "Maybe, but I am to lose a child soon and a love already. I fear my emotions may break me to pieces. I feel sometimes that I am growing colder, that I do not feel as freely as I once did and I am not sure that it is such a bad thing. I feel as if the only way I am to survive my life is to become distant to it; to watch it more than live it.”

I watch as his eyes grow sad and distant and when he speaks I almost cannot hear what he is saying.

“I have felt that way once, a long time ago, when I was a child.”

“What happened?”

He looks at me before he proceeds, and his eyes are no longer sorrowful, but burn with intensity as if warning me away from his past and back into my own mind, however, that is somewhere I do not wish to be.

“It is a long story and I fear it lacks a happy ending.” It is a question more than a statement, an offering of a last chance; to slip away unscathed or to proceed into the abyss. I consider for a moment before deciding that I might as well grow accustomed to unhappy endings.

“The nights are long here, if you will tell it, I wish to know.”

He stares at me for a moment before he is somewhere else entirely, submerged in his own history and when he speaks he speaks softly with a voice so beautiful the tale spins and spins around us, a beautifully tragic song.

“When I was a boy I lived in one of the small villages, far from the council house, Urgana. My family did not have a lot of money but we were happy, always. My sister and I, though twins, were quite different. She was so smart, so well composed. Beautiful and lively. She was the head of our class and everything came so naturally to her. She was the closest thing to perfection I have yet to bear witness to.

“I was the opposite. While I was also intelligent, I wilted in her shadows. I read a lot but unlike her, I had few friends. I lacked many social skills. I sometimes think they left me and embedded into my sister, Aria. Despite this, we were the best of friends. Where ever she went, I went. What she did, we did. I suspect the friends I did acquire were by default, truly seeking friendship with her and finding a set of two. She never saw the faults within me that I so often did and when I struggled she would stay home with me, sending others seeking her company away to help me, never leaving me behind.

“One day when we returned from our classes, our parents had company. A woman sat in our sitting room looking very out of place in her elegance. I was confused then, but I know now my sister fit the pieces together long before I did, before the woman even spoke. She stared uncertain and squeezed my hand unknowingly. My mother invited us to sit among the adults, which was strange and intriguing. Aria walked quietly to the sofa across from the strange woman and stared intently. It was then I knew something was not right.

“The woman introduced herself to me as a member of the high council and after some discussion she informed me that she wished me to accompany her back. She wanted to train me, to groom me to take her place and right there I wept. I was scared; I did not want to go. How could I leave my family, my home? Aria? It seemed the cruelest proposition I had ever heard. The discussion ended then, before it was intended to. There was much which was to be said that was not. The elegant woman left us with the promise that she would be back in time to see if my mind had changed. I knew it would not. I could never leave Aria.”

As I watched him he paused, still in his own mind, as if forgetting that he was with me and telling me one of his stories. “But you are here, so you must have changed your mind. Why?”

He looked up from his lap, from the pieces playing out before him and when our eyes met my heart stopped. Every inch of my body radiated fear. I had never seen this side of him, this monster gazing through the eyes of the beautifully broken man. When he spoke next, it was a battle between the monster and the broken, his voice changing with his thoughts and it was horrifying and heart breaking all the same.

“I did. Yes, I did. When the woman left, my sister and I went upstairs to our room. We were still young and shared a space together. We didn’t mind honestly. She was quiet for some time before speaking, but when she did I listened adamantly. She was usually the one to solve the problems.

‘Endellion, do you think the council members are good people?’

‘Yes, they have to be.’

‘Why must they be good?’

‘They’re our leaders. Why would they pick bad people to lead us?’

‘It seems to me most leaders have many bad ideas. Do you think a person is good or bad, or perhaps can they be both?’

“This puzzled me but I was used to her riddles, her mind worked in such strange ways, theorizing everything, stretching and bending limitations and resistance. But no, I did not believe people were good and bad, I was certain they could only be but one. To have two such contradicting persons in one body seemed impossible to me.

‘I don’t think so. I have had bad thoughts and good. I don’t think we are as limited as some would have us believe.’

‘Do you think I should go? Why did they pick me? You are so much smarter than I am.’

‘That isn’t true. I know a lot, yes. But you are capable of so much more, Endellion. You will know it one day just as I do.’

‘Then you do think I should go?’

‘I think that depends on the type of person you will be. Will you remain yourself, or will you become who they want you to be? Will you make the world better or will you hold the world still? What would you fight for? Who would you fight for?’

“I didn’t understand what she was talking about then, but now I do. I was wrong and she was right, as usual. That night we fell asleep talking about all the ways to change the world for the better. We laughed and she was happy. In the morning she was gone.

“The next few days were the worst days of my life, not knowing where she was, how she had gotten there, if she lived. I felt responsible. I failed her. I should have protected her as she protected me daily but I didn’t. I didn’t hear her get up, hear her leave, hear her scream. I didn’t hear anything. A few days later I was woken from the first sleep I’d had since she went missing in a rush by people I did not know. I thought the people who had come for Aria had finally come back for me and I felt better, as if I was getting what I deserved.

“They spoke but I didn’t understand them, my mind was still on other things. When I was lead downstairs by my arm, my mother was crying, my father was ready to fight and the elegant lady stood before them, speaking over my mother’s wet sobbing. We were told to pack quickly, we were in grave danger and as I looked around I noticed the men and women guarding the doors, armed and ready for a fight. My mother packed clothes, my father sat in silence and I packed up the only thing that I wanted from my old life- my sister’s books.”

“Someone killed your sister? I am so sorry, Endellion.” I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, the breath rushed out of me at the realization. There was no wonder now, how this beautiful man could be so beautifully broken.

“No, she was alive, found in a cave not far from our home. She had been taken in the night and tortured for days. Those who took her thought she was the one the council was seeking. She was the smart one, after all. They cut her hair trying to steal her beauty from her, her will. They cut her skin in patterns, down her arms and back, down her legs, leaving webbed scars all over her flesh. They starved her and tormented her, prying for information she did not have because I was too weak to finish the conversation that day in the sitting room. All the same, she never told them she was not the one they were looking for. She never told them it was me. She never saved herself.

“Now she speaks in riddles, her mind is usually locked in those few days’ time and she rambles on and on about them coming, over and over. ‘They’re coming, close the doors. They’re coming; we have to close the doors. Endellion, close the doors!’ She asks me to save her, to close the doors and I can’t do anything but tell her I have. She doesn’t understand. At first we assumed they had left out of a window as the window was open in the mornings, but it’s obvious we were wrong about a lot. To think she was so close and we never found her, it still haunts me.

“But, on the days she is herself, she is herself completely. Happy, radiant even, remembering nothing of those few days and we talk as if we were again eight. She has never left eight, and she never will. And so I came. I would fight for her, always. The first few years I grew cold, as you do. It seemed easier than feeling the things I felt. Every time I put down my wall, I was bombarded with gilt and pain, vengeance. I never felt the happiness she did.

“One day when I was visiting her, a day she was my Aria again, her laughter suddenly stopped and I got up quickly to shut the doors, fearing she was slipping back into those few days again, but she just looked at me. I sat with her and she placed her hand upon my cheek and looked into my eyes, searching, my inquisitive, witty Aria.

‘What saddens you, Endellion? Why are you so broken now?’

“I did not know what to say, she always knew when I lied to her and so I said what I could, that I couldn’t find my happiness anymore. That I was worried I was growing into a cold man. She took my hand and smiled at me before speaking again. She always knew what to do.

‘Then I should share my happiness with you, until we find yours.’

“She gave me her books then, her happiness, and we began to read together silently for quite a while until she again spoke, looking at me longingly, as if she was Aria, the true Aria and not the trapped eight year old Aria- but my equal. My superior, even.

‘Do not become a cold man, Endellion. You are supposed to change the world, remember? What would you fight for, then? Perhaps it should be happiness. It would be such a dreary place if we all should lose it.’

“And just as quick as she came back to me, she left me again, sitting there in the room, oblivious to my walls chipping away, tears falling. Yes, for her I would fight. For her I would feel everything she could not, trapped in those few darkest days, those short eight years. To block it out, the pain and the sorrow, the hate and the happiness, would be an injustice to her. I would feel for the both of us and I would fight for the happiness of our people, even through the sadness it brought with it.”

As I watched him, his eyes changed from the monster inside him to the broken man I had come to know and I knew Aria was right; we are not limited to one person, bad or good, we are but a tangled web of emotions, good and bad, and our actions are what define us. Just as you could be a great person who does bad things, you could be a bad person who does great things. I wondered which Endellion was in his truest form, but I suspected he was good.

He handed me a book from the bottom of the pile which had been sitting in the window seat and as I opened it the first page was scribbled with a name I would now never forget, Aria. We did not speak again, but we didn’t have to; we had come to understand each other in these last moments. I know now what he fights for, what he believes in and why he makes the decisions he does, even when they may seem contradicting. I knew him and we were very much the same. Just as I held secrets, so did he and when the time came, what part of him would lead his actions; the monster or the broken? For now, we simply read from her books, borrowing from her happiness until we are able again to find our own.

Chapter Six:

The Catalyst

I awoke in the library the next morning and when I opened my eyes Endellion was there also, asleep on the sofa across the room. I wondered which of us had fallen asleep first and as I sat up slowly I became aware of my protruding stomach. Something was different today, my body was different and I could feel it. My back was sore and my mind was uneasy but a different type of uneasy than the sort I have become accustomed to. Please don’t let it be today! Ignoring my mind I looked around and noticed the breakfast tray on the table by the door. What time was it? How long have I been asleep? The room smelled like cinnamon and the clean sweetness of fruit. Making my way to the small table by the door I wondered if this insistent hunger would cease relatively soon after the baby was born or if I was also cursed to be consistently famished. The muffins were still steaming and the fruit was cold. I picked up one of the cinnamon muffins and watched the sides crumble onto the plate before piling the fresh berries around it, reminding me of an island I had read about the night before where children never grow up but stay small and naive to the world forever.

I made another plate before walking to the sitting area and placing it on the table in front of Endellion. Plucking the open book off of his chest, I flipped to the first few pages and found a familiar scribbled name, Aria. It was no wonder now why he was battled so often between broken and beast; he was a broken child grown to a broken man, all while harboring the hate, guilt and rage taking refuge in his mind, fighting to take control of who he was, of who he is. Now when I see the beast in his eyes again, it will be less frightening and so much more heart breaking.

I eat quickly for no reason and when my hand finds an empty plate where fresh berries once were, I am brought back to myself, my mind no longer tip-toeing through Endellion’s history, searching every corner for signs of his sister. I wonder how much of her he has in himself and I assume it to be quite a bit. When he stirs on the couch across from me I hold my breath as if the simple sound would disturb him, waking him from his slumbers. For reasons I cannot make sense of, I wish to watch him sleep. It is not the slow rhythm of his chest or the way he sometimes sighs when he breaths, but the way he looks with his eyes closed, his face peaceful for the time being. His eyes open and find mine easily, as if he knew exactly where I was and what I was doing. He smiles and I wonder if he was ever really sleeping.

“Good morning. Someone has brought us breakfast. Still warm.”

He moves so easily and I am reminded that he is lethal, his movements, swift and graceful, remind me of a python; beautiful to look at but deadly if you find yourself too close. He pulls the top off of his muffin and begins to eat it, brushing the crumbs off of his shirt as they fall.

“I love cinnamon. You fell asleep last night and I felt bad waking you. I imagine you do not sleep much. I hope you don’t mind, I just gave you a pillow and blanket and let you sleep here.”

I look over to the window and notice for the first time the pillow propped against the side of the wall. “No, thank you for that. You are right; I have not slept so well lately. Did you stay here all night?”

“Yes. I did not want something to happen in the night and you to be here on the other side of the manor, so far from everyone.”

I consider this and wonder if he senses the difference that I am feeling. “Oh, yes. I do feel a bit strange today.”

“Yes, I suspect you do. I can feel the energy in the air, it is different than it has been. I suspect the time is almost here.”

My stomach and throat clench at the thought and my discomfort must be obvious because like a snake, he is next to me, eyes intense, muscles coiled ready to strike but at what I am unsure.

“Are you alright?”

I place my hand over my stomach and the other on the seat behind me to help hold myself up. I don’t know what to say, so I stay quiet. Am I alright?

“Let us go to the main hall, we will gather Avaneese and she can make sure you are well. She is trained in childbirth, you know, as well as other medical conditions of course. We don’t get out much.”

Avaneese, yes. I hear her name and an instant ease sets over me and I can think. Something is different, wrong even. I want Avanees. I nod to him and he takes my hand to help me up but as I stand fire courses through my body and it feels as if I am being ripped apart. I scream and grab my stomach before I feel my knees buckle. I hit the floor and when I open my eyes my vision is red and I am dizzy, spinning. I feel arms lift me and we are moving. I am losing consciousness, slipping away from the moments and I know we are no longer in the library when the air no longer smells like dust and forgotten pages. I look up and Endellion is there. When he looks down he is speaking, but there is no sound, just his beautiful eyes burning into me with the pain. What is he saying? I raise my hand to his face and his skin is coarse with hair. He must not have shaved recently. I pull my hand away and see the wet, red print of my palm, surrounded by long fingers staining his cheek. It reminds me of a tree the way they branch out across his perfect complexion as I drift away.

For what seems like forever I fight to regain consciousness. Something is wrong and I know it, but every time I find the surface and open my eyes to the commotion I am quickly pulled back into isolation. It is dark and foggy here and while I can sense the pain within me, I can no longer feel the sharpness of it. When I do finally open my eyes again I am back in my room but the tranquility I found here before is gone. It is quiet but the air is thick with words unspoken. I look around stiffly and the hostility is obvious. It is Adomas who first notices my eyes open and comes to me, taking my hand with worried eyes.

“How are you feeling, Mara?”

Again, I don’t know what to say and so I stay silent. It is so much easier to not say anything; once it leaves my mind, my lips, it is a solidified thought and one that I cannot take back. Avaneese comes to my bed and sits beside me, placing her hand upon my head.

“You are unwell, Mara. The baby is in distress and I am doing all of which I can to save the both of you, but I fear we will be having a baby earlier than previously expected. I know this is a lot to take in, and I know it is unfair of me to tell you this and insist you remain calm, but understand that the more distress you are under, the more the baby is under as well. Please, breathe and try to relax. We will get through this together, all of us. Understand?”

My head spins and I find that I cannot even process what is being said to me. I understand the severity of the situation, but my mind refuses to accept and file it away and so I just nod and lay back into the familiar pillows. I close my eyes for some time and when my breathing slows they begin to speak again, assuming that I have fallen adrift.

I hear Tangora, her voice hushed but still holding the intensity I have begun to associate with her. I assume it is just a part of her, always lingering. “This is the answer. We know not what will happen or if we can even save either of them. Let nature take its course, Avaneese. Let the baby go.”

“No, this is not the way this chapter ends. We uphold the ways of our kind; we do not kill the innocent. Mara would want us to focus on her child, ensure its safe delivery, no matter the cost.”

“We are not killing anything! The baby is unstable, nature itself is trying to correct something it did not intend and you are stopping the natural process!”

I held my breath for a moment, unsure of what to do, just knowing I would never allow them to kill my child before I heard a voice loud and insistent, demanding. It took a moment before I realized it was Avanees herself and my skin chilled at the harshness lashing through the room like tentacles ready to fight.

The room was silent and the air was shifting around me. I could feel the anger radiating from Tangora as the room considered Avenues’ words.

“Tangora, perhaps you could make yourself useful and leave the room. You are requiring too much of my attention and it really should be focused elsewhere.”

I heard footsteps cross the floor before I heard the door slam. The air had shifted again and it was as if the whole room started breathing. Before long, Avanees had ordered everyone from the room in preparation for the hours to come. Clean water and blankets were to be fetched along with her medical bag. She would need fresh herbs from her garden and as she left, I opened my eyes.

Endellion was still there, staring, waiting. “I was wondering when you would wake, but I secretly suspect you have been aware for these last moments. How are you feeling, honestly?”

I open my mouth to speak but I am suddenly overwhelmed with what is happening and tears fall from my eyes as I gasp for air. Instantaneously he is there, perched in the bed next to me, my face pressing into the perfect curve where his neck and shoulder meet. He says nothing, but he doesn’t have to. His presence is settling and soon my breathing has evened again and he pulls me from him, placing me back onto the pillows to relax.

“It will be alright, Mara. Avanees knows what she is doing, she is very gifted you know.”

“You don’t know that. You cannot say for certain that everything will be alright, that my baby will be okay.”

I look up at the sadness in his eyes and know he will not lie to me, he could not if he tried. I know Endellion now and he knows me. We are the same, him and I, wounded and fighting all the same, against all odds, against our own sanity.

“No, I cannot. I do not know what will happen, but I have faith in Avanees and have seldom seen her fail at anything. I also know you are too important, too special to die today. I feel something changing, something will change very soon, and I suspect you to be the catalyst.”

I stare at him for a moment and he brushes the hair back from my forehead. I do not say what I want to, but I will him to understand my thoughts. I am not the catalyst; I am not the change he is feeling. It is the baby. My baby.

The next few hours would be the best and worst hours of my life. As the minutes grew longer the severity of my situation grew more obvious, or perhaps I was just accepting it now. The pains were sharp and intense and though Avanees tried her best, grinding and willing her concoctions to work, the relief was minimal and momentary. Every hour or so my sheets had to be stripped, pulled from under me slick with dark red blood and I grew more and more exhausted with the passing minutes. The room smelled like rust and the dreariness was overbearing, yet through it all Endellion remained at my side assuring me that everything would be alright, even when he and everyone else had stopped believing this to be true. No one said it out loud, perhaps they did not wish to worry me more than necessary or perhaps they understood the unstable intensity of Avanees with her rage filled eyes. I had never seen her like this before and it seemed to me that at any moment for any reason at all she could erupt, the earth would tremble and we would all sink into the soft, black ground.

I lay silent and still in the bed, willing myself to sleep. My body was tired but my mind was exhausted and I knew that I could not handle much more. As I lay still the room was silent in the loudest possible way. You could feel the air around you, feel the emotions mixing with each other, bouncing off of one another and still when Tangora’s voice broke through the silence, it seemed dwarfed in comparison to the atmosphere’s intensity.

“Avaneese, you must stop this. This is nature doing what it will to correct a problem! It is not our place to intervene with the works of the world.”

“It is also not our place to condemn a child to suffer and die. I will not kill a baby, Tangora.”

“You are not killing it by letting it go, Avanees, you are doing what is intended by forces greater than yourself!”

“I will not stand by and watch this baby die! It is our duty to do what is right, Tangora. You do not let the innocent suffer!”

“And by bringing this child into the world when it is too weak to live, what are you doing if not condemning this child to a life of suffrage? Will you cast some spell to give it health and strength too? Would you condemn us all to die if this child is a monster?”

I could feel the rage radiating from Avaneese as she went silent. I could hear her breathing slow and steady, calming herself while the room was still, waiting for her answer, waiting for Tangora, waiting for the fate of the child decided upon by small words thrown around a large room and when she next spoke her words were lethal. I had never heard her like this before and I knew that this was the Avaneese who goes to battle, who has killed and will probably kill again. This is the Avaneese who others fear and for good reason. She is ruthless and her beautiful voice, calm and sweet, drips with the venom.

“This child will live if I have to give my own life, or anyone else’s, to make sure of it. I will bring this baby into our world alive, and by the gods if you dare to intervene or harm it in any way possible you will have traded your own life in the process, do you understand me? The child lives. If you are not here to help then I suggest you leave once more.”

Tangora was silent for just a moment before I heard her speak again. “And what of your thoughts, Endellion? Would you stand with me or stay with her?”

His voice was cautious and sympathetic, sad even. “This is the right thing to do, Tangora. The child and the mother must live. If you would have me choose, I would stay.”

If it had not been obvious before, it was clear now; Tangora had been wise to walk away. For all of Avaneese’s kindness, she could be twice as vicious. My body relaxed as I felt Endellion squeeze my hand and realized that he knew I was awake. The room was buzzing again but the air was so much lighter. People brought towels and clean water, clean bedding and every half hour or so Avaneese called out for more herbs or ointments, grinding away, lost in her own determination.

I lay there silently watching her, watching Endellion as he sat lost in his own thoughts and I wondered what they must be thinking of when my stomach began to cramp again, hardening, pressure building until I thought I would rip in half. I let out a hoarse scream, teeth clenched, nails cutting into my palm and the side of Endellion’s hand before receding just enough for me to fall back onto the bed gasping for breath. It went like this, on and on, over and over for what seemed like eternity with Endellion bringing water to my lips, holding my hand, brushing my damp hair back and doing his best for the both of us. Avaneese worked tirelessly and even when I thought she had had lost hope and given up she left the room only to return with another cup, another cream or another capsule. The others came and went, dropping off more supplies and offering comfort and support. Every one of them did Avaneese’s bidding, everyone but Tangora, who I did not see again. Just as I was giving up, sure it had been too long, there had been too much blood, Avaneese returned, weary yet determined. Her hands moved knowingly around my protruding stomach, pushing to the point of pain and when I winced she looked at me stern and worried.

“Mara, you are not ignorant, you must know something has been wrong for quite some time. The situation appears grave. The child appears to be stuck, breached. I am doing my best to turn it, the next few moments will be dire and painful, but you must relax, do you understand??

I did. Somewhere inside I had known that this is how it would end, a battle of life and death. It always had been, since the very beginning and I assumed until the very end. I had known all along, and so when my body immediately relaxed, muscles loosening, numbing to the pain I knew would come, I wondered if I had been preparing myself for this moment the entire time or if this is what they call a mother’s instinct. I did not speak but I did not have to, my eyes said it all. I looked at Avanees, who nodded and pulled her chair to the end of my bed, ready and waiting for her opportunity. Endellion squeezed my hand and I remembered he was with me, just as intense. I looked up at him and he gave me a strained smile before speaking. In the face of this ugly situation, I had forgotten how beautiful his voice is.

“It will be alright. She is part her mother, remember. She must be a fighter.”

I smile because I know this is meant to be lighthearted, but I also know it to be true. She is her father’s daughter and my heart.

Avaneese looks up skeptically. “She?”

I don’t even have time to answer before the most intense pain yet sears through me and I feel the wet stickiness spill onto my legs. I scream at the sudden fire coursing through my flesh and Endellion jumps to his feet, pressing me down onto the pillows trying his best to calm me as Avanees yells out orders to the hall. In the commotion I don’t even know who comes and who goes and it isn’t long before Avanees looks up at me.

“Its time, Mara. Breath and push. No matter what, don’t stop.”

I take a deep breath and when the pressure builds up again, it’s as if my body knows exactly what to do. I push through the pain, growling more than screaming and hope for the best. It isn’t long before Avanees yells again for one final push and I comply with the last of everything I have left, only to be greeted with silence. My heart stops and I hold my breath unable to process my surroundings. Avanees moves quickly and I close my eyes unable to watch. I lay in the bed, numb, Endellion silent beside me offering no more pretty words or false hope. We are mute to the world when I hear a shrill scream and the leveling cry of an infant. I open my eyes and jump forward, Avaneese again at the foot of the bed, smiling, exhausted and triumphant.

“Her.”

My voice catches in my throat as she places the small bundle into my anxious arms. With tear stained cheeks I look down at the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, Her eyes are emerald, her hair is fire and her skin is milky white perfection. She has two rosy cheeks and beautiful pink lips. I touch her face, her hair and let her hold my finger tip, grasping with her entire hand. She looks into my eyes and I see her strength, her ferocity and her innocent kindness and think of Aria and Adelle; intelligent and strong, kind and ferocious; everything she would need to be. I gaze at her, searching through her eyes for her soul and when I find her I know who she is and who she will become.

“Arielle.”

Even before the name is fully spoken, I know it’s right. Endellion reaches out to brush her hair with his fingertips and I am reminded we are not alone. I look up and he smiles, knowingly. We would share this forever; lost love and a battle. Right and wrong. I look to Avaneese who looks exhausted but mischievous; her mind is working and it is obvious.

In this large room, we unify ourselves, braced for the battle to come for this small baby. For different reasons, we pledge a silent allegiance to her and I wonder if they know what I feel so surly; that this baby, my Arielle, will change the world one way or the other. Today, this moment, will be an end and a beginning. We will be the soldiers and she the catalyst.