Young Writers Society

Sept. 7th

7am

Friday

I have the day off, no work, and no classes. The kids are out of school, something happened to the power yesterday and they haven’t been able to fix it. I’m taking the kids and some of their friends to the beach. I even invited Pete and his Ms. Frankenstein, (note to self: do not say the nickname to Pete’s face. I’ve a bruise on my arm where he punched me. He thought I was joking. It would have been my face if he knew, I’m sure of it. ), and I was secretly glad he had to work. I miss him, but I don’t want to deal w. the dragon lady, she is v. scary.

Things are looking up. Kaley’s senior boy asked his mom to take her shopping. He’s really a v. nice boy. Have to work on remembering his name. Andrew, I think. I’m tempted to send the mother flowers, is that too much? Jaden has been an angel, that’s why his grounding is lifted for today, although he might be quiet because he’s planning to blow up the school or something like that.

I’ll prolly have forgotten all about it within a week or so, anyway, I’ve never been good at enforcing punishment.

The kid’s friends are nice, except a v. annoying girl who is Ady’s. I’ve got to get rid of her, if she ends up at my house every other weekend like Maggie and Seth I may commit murder. She’s rude in a snobby way, hard to pinpoint. It’s her tone, not her words. She’s already taken away some of my sanity, I’m sure of it.

They all slept over. Little Miss Perfect thought she should sleep in the basement w. the big kids. I’m sure her ‘rents would be thrilled, “Well we had pizza, and then I slept in a room w. teenage boys.” Not okay. The worst part was she got Ady going on it to. A simple “No” used to work so well, but somehow we ended up discussing it so much I found myself actually thinking their argument made sense for a minute. Then thank god, common sense prevailed, and the subject was closed.

Must go wake them up. It won’t be a pleasant task, they all stayed up till 2, after being told to go to bed many times. It was v. annoying (they are way to loud, and some of us actually want to sleep), but they’re just being typical teenagers.

Jasper is coming home this weekend, and bringing his boyfriend. He’s named Alex something, I can’t remember. He’s Latino, an art student and a junior. He sounds v. nice, from what Jas has said. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I should be happy for him. I do not feel like a good brother.

I’m off to wake the children. Then, since I’m ready, I shall drink coffee and watch smurfs as the kids stumble around in their morning fog. I love the smurfs. Little blue men in funny hats make it all better. I find it funny that there is only one girl. The smurfs are all gay. At least, I hope so, otherwise they would suffer grievously. Or, Smurfette is v., v. resilient. Or v. sore. Maybe both.

I’m v. grateful that the smurfs were not redone and ruined like the ninja turtles. Watching that show makes me sad. Where is Splinter? Why do teens have grown men voices? What happened to the slang? Why are the plots so damn bad?

I find it sad that I am stressed about cartoons. It’s got to be from lack of sleep.

That’s it.

2 pm

The beach is perfect. We body surfed most of the morning. The kid’s friends didn’t know how, except for Kaley’s senior boy, who wasn’t any good. V. sad. Little Miss Perfect had never been to the beach. It explains a lot.

The kids are buying burgers from a stand. In 5 min., they’ll be filled w. sand, and if that isn’t it, we’ll all get e-coli.

I’m working on my tan. Jaden says I’m acting like a girl. I am not amused. Add extra sand to Jaden’s burger.

I’m supposed to be reading Hamlet for English. *gags* I hated it the first time.

I can’t find it.

Dammit, I remember. I decided to conveniently forget it. I’d kill the kids for pulling that. Ah well. I’ll find the time later. Somehow. Right now, I have to go tell kids to stop burrowing in the sand. I don’t want to bring the beach home w. us.

3:30 PM

The kids are asleep. Or at least laying still. Maybe they’re dead. Finally. They have way too much energy. I need to wake Ady up, she needs sunblock on, she burns easily. I’m v. tired. I’m going to lie down for a few minutes. We need to leave in a ½ hour.

Fuck. It’s five o’clock! Damn the sun for making me sleepy. The kids are calling their parents, explaining why we're late. We’re going to be late meeting Jasper’s plane. I’m v. cranky.

Ady’s nose is red. Her new nickname is Rudolph. The kids aren’t v. original.

9 P.M.

We made it to Jasper’s plane on time. I’m v. glad to have him home, missed him like none other.

Something is off w. the boyfriend. He seems v. nice, but he’s overly nervous. I expected it at first, but after three hours? He’s older than I thought. 22, 23? Not expected, but not to bad. I need to ask.

I asked. Wish I hadn’t. 25. 7 yrs on Jasper! 5 on me! I do not know what to think. I promised I’d give it a chance. So not happy. They are NOT sharing a room.

Alex thought Jasper told me. He apologized for it, said he should have made sure. I’m angrier at Jasper than him. He still gets to sleep on the couch. Alex is annoyed w. Jasper, but is not being mean about it. He seems decent, but still.

It would be different if Jasper was older, but he’s only eighteen! Alex is being gracious about the coach. God, I’m starting to feel guilty, the couch isn’t v. comfortable and it’s not his fault Jas lied to me. Or as he puts it, avoided telling the truth. I believe that’s called lying by omission. The brat.

I told Jasper they could share a bed. Asked him whether they were using condoms. He had the nerve to say it was none of my business.

Alex smacked him on the back of the head (lightly) and told me that yes, they were. He said something about not riding bareback, which took me a while to get, and then I turned bright red. I heard him telling Jasper to behave. It was v. gratifying.

Right. Screw the shorthand for a bit. I’m worried. I like Alex, he seems like he really cares about Jas, and he’s polite and funny. He seems smart to. He started school late, but plenty of kids screw around first, and anyways look at me. I can’t hold something I’ve done against him. Besides, it might just be that he took an extra year or so to learn English properly, which is always commendable.

I just don’t know whether Jasper is ready, this doesn’t seem casual, and I don’t want him getting in over his head, or hurt. Maybe I should just mind my own business, but he’s just a kid.

That’s just it. Even taking age out of the equation, emotionally Jasper is still a kid, still a baby honestly. I know my brother. Alex is a grown-man. A good guy I guess, but to mature for my baby brother. Or maybe someone more mature is what he needs to help him grow up? Hell, I’ve only known him for three hours, and what I’ve heard from Jasper’s emails. He could be completely different than I’m thinking.

If nothing else, I should be grateful he’s looking for a relationship instead of just screwing around, right? I mean, he used to come home from that youth group thing with horror stories, like that fifteen-year-old kid, who looked old enough to buy beer, and went around to clubs trying to find older guys. There youth group leader couldn’t even do anything about it cause the parents weren’t supportive, (which prolly explains the whole looking for affection in the wrong way thing) and had been abusive in the past. At least I don’t have to worry about Jas doing anything like that.

I don’t know. I just don’t know. They go back to school Wednesday, but I think this is going to be on my mind for a long time after.

Sep 9

5 P.M.

Sunday

It’s been a good day. I caught up on schoolwork (Hamlet is better than I remember, but still to difficult), the sad bit, it was Alex who took over the cleaning today and told me to sit my ass down and do my homework. Felt about ten, but I listened.

We’re going out to dinner. Just Jasper, Alex and me. The kids seem surprisingly happy to be left home. I’m a bit worried. I may come home to pile of ashes.

In other news, Kaley’s senior boy’s mother took her shopping. I may have been a bit too grateful, but she seemed to like the flowers. That, or she thought I was off in the head and didn’t want to offend me. Either way, Kaley got a nice dress, and some female bonding (She is v. happy that Andrew’s mother likes her.) and I only had to shell out fifty bucks.

I’m attempting to accept Alex as longterm; dinner is a “get to know you”. Another reason mom was supposed to be here this weekend. I had forgotten. I really am the parent.

I wonder whether there was even any guy?

Jasper and Jaden are challenging me to a Donkey Kong championship. I will wipe the floor w. them. I have to convince Alex to be on my team. Jasper says he’s good.

Jasper says that wasn’t what he was talking about. Ewwww. Must wash brain. And kill brother.

Never mind. Alex is tickling him to death. They are cute.

I haven’t seen Jas laugh like that in a long, long time.

I can feel myself giving in. Dammit.

11 P.M.

Dinner was fun. I had a nice talk w. Alex. I’m pretty sure Kaley and Jaden had friends over. I can’t prove it, but the basement is too messed up for just them and Ady. Alex agrees w. me. I’m too tired to care v. much. If they had asked, it would have been fine. Except that Jaden’s grounded, I’d forgotten about that for a minute. Which means they prolly did sneak people over. I need to check the bottles level in the morning. If they’ve been in my Vodka again…

Sept. 10th

9 a.m.

Monday

I had a long talk w. Alex last night. Jasper saw some old friends, took off to play catch-up for an hour or so, once we’d finished dinner. I think he may have staged that bit, wanting to force us to get along. I learned a lot about him, he is as nice as I thought. Bit too forceful to make for comfort, has a v. in charge type attitude. It’s not arrogant or cruel though; it seems to be just the way he is. Latino machoism, maybe? He’s good for Jasper; he’s not as depressed.

We talked a bit about dear baby brother’s penchant for blaming everything on himself. (and, though neither of us out and out said it, throwing fits when he’s got himself miserable enough. Most people either have a penchant for self-pity or guilt. Jasper has been blessed w. both. ) He told me he was working on it. I’m quite sure I don’t want to know what he means, (got a rather mischievous smile on his face) but if it works…Grateful is not a strong enough word.

We talked about sports (the man knows more baseball trivia than anyone I know…whereas I’m just lucky if I know whose playing. I’ve always been much more into football, and even then I’m more interested in playing than watching. I never thought a gay guy would know more about sports then I do…And now I feel like a real jerk.), movies, school, everything. I was really surprised by how easy it was to talk to him. He gave me some advice on Jaden, getting him to talk. Not sure I’ll ever use some of it, but it’s given me some ideas. At the moment I’m really worried about the little guy, this is worse then one of his sulks. He’s so angry.

He doesn’t like Alex, yet when I asked him he originally refused to give an answer, and then said it was because he was a, get this, faggot (He got a v. strong lecture on why that word is not allowed in our house, even joking around, let alone meant seriously. He is seriously trying my patience.). The boy not only has never had a problem w. Jasper, he has gay friends. Just a few weeks ago, he went to Michael’s birthday party and spent the night. Michael is so flaming the first time I met him it took me a minute to figure out he was a boy.

And he doesn’t like Alex because he’s a faggot. I just don’t get it. Just don’t get it!

Well Teach, when you read this speak up about any suggestions. I’m completely lost. Honestly, any suggestion is welcome at this point. I am tired all the time, I know I’m getting snappy w. the kids, and things just seem to be getting worse. I hate work, except for when Pete is working w. me, no matter how interesting my classes are I still don’t want to go, and all the rest of the time I just want to sleep. I can’t though, I have to cook and clean, and chauffeur everyone around, help w. homework, pay the bills, balance a checkbook, everything!

Before mom left I never even had a checkbook.

Excuse me; Ady is trying to burn down the kitchen again.

She burned mac and cheese. There were flames. While she was still boiling the noodles. How??!?!?

Heart attack by 25, I’m telling you.

I’m still not clear on why she was cooking macaroni for breakfast. Hasn’t she heard of breakfast foods? Cereal? Fruit? Bacon and eggs, for god’s fucking sake?

I have to go, work at two, till 10. Have a class first, at 11, (History, teacher is cool, v. political. If I’d had teachers like this the first time around…) luckily it’s only an hour long so I’ll be able to eat lunch and make it to work on time.

Wait…why is Ady still home? I’m going to kill her.

Okay good, Jasper and Alex are going to drive her to school, before they go into Portland for the day. She claims she forgot it was a Monday. Right. So believable.

Sept. 12

8 AM

Wednesday

I'm taking the day off (I have a bad cold…), and keeping the kids out of school. Jas and Alex are going back tonight. Alex really has grown on me. Jasper adores him, and it is mutual. I’m v. happy for him.

I still have to find the time to give him the “If you hurt my brother, I’ll cut open your chest and rip it out” speech. I held off during the getting to know you period, but now it’s time.

We’re going to the beach. It’s like the hot chocolate and old movies thing, only that’s how we spend time together, rather than how we mourn. There is something so right, about it, body surfing tell your legs are purple, building sandcastles, painstakingly molding and scraping till it’s “perfect”. Climbing up the sand dunes, rolling down and coming up so covered in sand you look like a pancake. Making sand angels and playing football. It’s like being a kid again, you know?

I want to move to the beach someday. This is what happens when I write so early, I’m all sentimental. Ah well.

I really want a cigarette for some reason. Trying to quit. I will NOT resort to stealing my little brother’s cigarettes.

The girls have decided to make a picnic lunch. I was all for fruit and KFC but they insisted. Now, of course, they want my help, AFTER I told them it was their responsibility. Of course. Ah well, instead of bitching I’ll just have fun w. it. It will be v. elaborate. As elaborate as you can make a picnic, anyway.