I loved it! I am a girl and if I got a poem like that, it would make me happy. the simplisty of it adds to the depth. fantastic, my english teacher would gush over you.
My heart is skipping a beat
Everytime I see you.
You give me butterflies in my stomach,
And I feel like jumping to the moon.
That gorgeous face creeps into my mind
Everytime I close my eyes,
But fate gets the better of me
And I push you to the back of my head.
Will it ever happen?
That's the question I keep asking myself.
To me it's pretty obvious, but do you know?
I try to keep hope in me, but it's trying me down.
You're the one I dream of every night,
I wake up, and reality stares me in the face.
The vibes are in the air,
But are you feeling the same as me?
I loved it! I am a girl and if I got a poem like that, it would make me happy. the simplisty of it adds to the depth. fantastic, my english teacher would gush over you.
That's really sweet for the guy, but your other readers would get rather bored. Where's your description? We want to feel the same passion that you do, but you've got to give us a little imagery. Elaborate on how he makes you feel and show us those emotions. There's a differene between "You make me happy" and "My heart and soul chorus when you are near", or something like that. 
Those are weak examples, but it's just to give you an idea of what we look for as your readers. You've tossed out your fishing line, but have you attached the right bait? I don't think so, because your "fish" don't seem to be biting.
I hope I helped. Best wishes!
~*Sydney*~
120,223 Literary Works • 649,164 Reviews
Points: 890
Reviews: 28
Donate