Help Those

by cathy

Published December 27, 2006

Help those who are below us
Who's future is unsure,
Help those who plead for Justice
Go knocking on there door.

Help those who suffer violence
Homelessness and sin,
help those who don't believe
In strength that's hidden in.

Help those who have addiction
Don't know whats wrong from right,
Help those who cannot care less
And those out there to fight.

Help those who've lost their dignity
Through poverty ad dispair,
Help those who work from dusk to dawn
But we, who do not dare.

Help those who feel obliged
To take somebody's life,
Help those who's minds are evil
And put us through this strife.

Help all who want a good life
To get what they deserve,
To find their inner beauty
And to search in what they're served.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Chandni
Review
Chandni wrote a review Review · Dec 27, 2006

I like your concept and your rhyming scheme although at some point it did not seem to rhyme f.e.

Help those who are below us
Who's future is unsure,
Help those who plead for Justice
Go knocking on there door.


Unsure and door don't quite rhyme :?

Help all who want a good life
To get what they deserve,
To find their inner beauty
And to search in what they're served.


Neither do deserve and served

Other than that, well you keep repeating "Help those" which gets a bit annoying here's a suggestion

Help those who are below us
Who's future is unsure,
[s]Help[/s] those who plead for Justice
Go knocking on there door.

Help those who suffer violence
Homelessness and sin,
[s]help[/s] those who don't believe
In strength that's hidden in.

Help those who have addiction
Don't know whats wrong from right,
[s]Help[/s] those who cannot care less
And those out there to fight.

Help those who've lost their dignity
Through poverty ad dispair,
[s]Help[/s] those who work from dusk to dawn
But we, who do not dare.

Help those who feel obliged
To take somebody's life,
[s]Help[/s] those who's minds are evil
And put us through this strife.

Help all who want a good life
To get what they deserve,
To find their inner beauty
And to search in what they're served.


There, those "help's" ar lessened now
As for the line I made bold, it doesn't qutie sound right, maybe

"those who don't recall,
their strength that's hidden in"

Cheerios, Chandni

User avatar
piepiemann22
Comment
piepiemann22 commented Comment · Dec 27, 2006

I like it. It speaks of something true, from the heart.



An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that life's going to launch you into something great, so just focus and keep aiming.
— Unknown