The Last Questions

I could almost feel Brian's pain. I love the way he described how being blind is. I never thought of it that way. All I ever see in written works are darkness and loneliness and the such but Brian, although he did say that he was in a bit of pain, views blindness in a totally different manner. Nice job on that.

Details are good. I guess it's because I haven't read much on blind people but still, nicely done.

Also, I like the way how Casey described sunset.

You're very descriptive in how your characters explain things to eachother. It's very smooth and easy to read and it flows nicely. The ending leaves the reader with a warm feeling, and it left me with a scary feeling as well, thinking about the horrors of blindness. It seems very realistic and has lots of potential.

Nice work!
Missa

This probably won't even be counted as a review, but I had to say how wonderful i thought it was anyways. It was so... What's the word? Beautiful. I love the way she describe things to her brother the way a blind person could understand, using feelings and tastes and so on. And the ending is spectacular. It leaves the reader with such a nice feeling afterward. Its short but full of emotion. Nice job on this one. Can't wait for more.

Hey carelessaussie13! Here's my review key:
Red = Comments
Bold = Words I've inserted that I think work better with your piece.
Let's do this thing!

carelessaussie13 wrote:"What about stars? What are stars like?"
Casey shoved him playfully. "I think you asked me that one already. Gimme a new one."
Brian shrugged and lay back against the hardwood floor. "We were twelve This sentence felt a bit awkward. We were twelve when what, he asked the question? Try to be more specific . Please, sis, just tell me what stars are like?"
She sighed, [s]like she always did before she explained something[/s]. When she spoke, her voice was different than it was before. it was softer, like milk and honey, or like the last memory of a dream. "You're standing beneath an umbrella," she said, "and all around you it's raining. You stick your hand out and a thousand tiny droplets prick your palm and shatter in a million directions. If you listen, you can hear them. They sound like a baby, breathing."
"Stars must be beautiful."
"They are."
For a moment, brother and sister lay silently on the living room floor, listening to the fire crackling. From the mantlepiece, the ticking clock was a sordid reminder that life continued outside this room, that they were still lost in time's great flood. There was a picture on the mantlepiece, too, one of a family vacation from years ago. Casey, entirely flat in her striped bikini, splashed in a tide pool. Brian stood in the background, his fingers tracing [s]flying over[/s] a little shell he held in his hand. He was smiling, almost as if he could see it. Love it!
The present Brian lay sprawled there in front of the fire, unseeing eyes gazing off as he ran his thumb and forefinger over the hem of his Polar Fleece. "Are you going to be mad if I ask one more question?"
Casey watched his searching face. "Do I ever get to ask you a question?" she asked.
"You're not the blind one, Case."
"But what's it like, though, to be blind?"
Brian thought about his answer. As time slipped by and life got more complicated, he and Casey spent less and less time sprawled in front of the fire, laughing together or crying together or dreaming together. Maybe there would never be another chance to tell her about his eternal blindfold. He sighed. "You're standing at the edge of a cliff, your toes curled over the cold stone ledge. The wind is whispering in your ear and you know that if you could only understand the words you would know everything, everything. Somehow you know that the only way to decipher the wind's sweet language is to jump off the cliff. It hurts you to know that. But you jump. For a moment you're floating. . . and then you're falling, falling, falling, forever. But even as you fall, you can't understand the whispers of the wind. And then you hit the ground, and you realize that you never, ever will."
Her voice was small. "I'm sorry."
"It's not so bad. The wind sings lively songs, anyhow."
"Do you want to ask a question now?" she asked.
He wanted to ask her everything. H wanted her to show him what red looked like, and green. He wanted her to explain darkness and smiles and fire. Tomorrow would be busy, and the next day would be busier and before he knew it Casey would be gone. She would be happy and successful and grown up, and Brian would be her blind little brother, lost and aching. he had to ask her his most important question, because there might not be another chance. "Sunset. What's sunset like?"
He heard rustling, crinkling. "Open your mouth, Bri," she said quietly.
It was chocolate. It melted over his tongue, filling his mouth with a think, warm sweetness. He wiped his tongue over his teeth to savor every last bit.
He could practically hear Casey's smile. "That, little bro, is a sunset."

I liked this story. The thought of being blind to me is an absolute horror, and I can really understand how he wants to know what colors look like. It was a nice, simple, sweet story, and there isn't really much to improve on!

the only mistake I noticed...

H wanted her to show him what red looked like...

Hullo there!

This story is kind of heartwrenching. Don't worry, the good kind, I mean. I've never known or loved anyone blind, but I feel a very deep respect and sympathy for them, because I can't imagine the world without all the glorious sights there are to see. And this story really just makes me sad.
Anyway, I adore your writing very very much. It's very lyrical and poetic. Smoothly written, makes me feel emotions and not just feel like I'm looking at words. It's everything that a story should be. And maybe a little more. I really really enjoyed this piece. Honestly, this is one of the best story I've read on this website. Bravo, Careless!
PM me if you want me to read anything else of yours. I'd be very happy to!

Holly

My only complaint about this piece was that it was too short. I really loved the language and the relationship between the two characters. It was just magnificent.

The one typo I noticed was:

it was softer, like milk and honey