Published June 13, 2008
Stop. Just stop. You're fiddling. Tapping your toe glancing around, picking your fingernails. Stop.
Can you do it? Are you scared of the stillness? Yes, I thought so. Let me tell you a story, then, to quell your fears. So stop your little movements and your little noises. LIsten.
In the beginning there was nothing. Although nothing did not move, it roiled and screamed and raked through the crevasses of itself. All was stillness nd stillness was everywhere an the contradictions ran a thick as memory. Until the New Thing came.
The New Thing was time and with a measurement of duration nothing began to strain at its bonds. And nothing escaped. From freedom came the stars and the sun and the earth. The leaves whispered their secrets to the undulating grasses. Restless water lapped at the shore. The universe hummed with motion and life and energy.
But life and death are crucially entwined. each movement tugged the planet closer to death, closer to nothing bound by time.
Do you see? Only thorugh stillness can we survive.
Stop. Just stop. Don't move.
Stillness. Silence. Peace.
Good. Now stay that way.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,571 Literary Works • 673,487 Reviews
This was wonderful.
I could see the imagery in my head, I love the vividness of the words you used.
Also, the short sentences really, really, really accentuated this piece. The abruptness gave it a sense of almost urgency, which contrasted with the theme of stopping and staying still.
Amazing.
Wonderful.
Fantastic.
I could go on.
5 out of 5 stars.
This is beautiful to read. It has a rythm, and wonderful feeling about it that really makes you smile, and think.
Yes, there are a few typos that have already been pointed out, so just fix those up and the whole thing will be practically prefect. I love this, I really do. Well done.
"You have a very good writing style. I'd love to read more of your writing."
Me too! and you do have a gorgeous style.
I also like the fact that it's so short, that just adds more affect to the whole feeling of it. So, well done again. I love it.
You need to look for your typos...I won't bother to go through and tell them to you.
This is very well-written. I loved how you went from the short, concise sentences at the beginning to a sort of "storyteller" mode and back to the abruptness. Very nice. You would think it wouldn't flow well this way but it did.
You have a very good writing style. I'd love to read more of your writing.
The only thing was that I had to read it twice to really get everything. But I think that made it all the more enjoyable. And I often read things twice anyway because I read too fast for my own good.
Gold star!
Something like this is the definition of short and sweet. Only 'sweet' probably isn't the best description word for this piece. Maybe magical. Wow. I know this isn't a helpful review, but this was amazing. Really powerful.
Just a typo, but the 'i' doesn't need to be capitalized.Both the 'ands' in this sentence are misspelled.
Thats all the mistakes I found, and those were just typos. Really, really, good job on this. Don't let anyone tell you its too short. Its perfect, powerful, and has a great ending.