Published October 5, 2024
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139,534 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
this is such a cool idea! kudos to you for thinking of this!!
Thanks so much!! <33
Hey friend!!! Wow, such a unique and beautiful organization and poem, in its entirety
I like this theme you have going with all of your published poems, how they are lowercase singular words. Let's jump into this review!
I absolutely love this line. I like the little bit of alliteration that you use, that line of "face once familiar" sounds so pleasing to the ear. I like how you give these vivid descriptions, describing the soft glow of streetlights. That is one thing that I really love about this poem and all of your poems, your ability to be so descriptive, creating such beautiful lines that feel so amazing to see aesthetically, but also read words wise.
When I think about memory, and forgetting things, and reflecting on things, I don't often think of taste. This line really just adds to the sensory and detail mastery of this poem! I love how you added that taste of salt. Something that you can remember, but not quite put a name to. You did a great job at adding that smell of smoke too. This brings back so many memories for me. Things that I forgot that I even experienced before. Great work on the sensory details, as well as creating this poem that looks so pretty to look at it.
All of these sections are so incredibly beautiful, but those are my two favorites. I also like the use of the word archaic. That last stanza, with a semicolon in it, really really hits hard too. I like how you describe the pressure of air. Fantastic work, reflecting, and creating a place where I can feel a lot while reading these words.
Great work and keep on writing!
Your friend,
Ellie
lovelovelove
what a unique idea! ^v^
the structure of turning each definition into a small vignette gives the word ‘forget’ a new depth, as if each meaning is a fragment of a larger story. i wonder how that came to mind. it’s like watching a film fade to static, yet knowing the story is still hidden somewhere in the noise. the way you describe that shift from familiarity to distance carries a gentle ache. it's soft, but it makes its presence known.
if i may suggest, perhaps in the third and fourth definitions, you could add a bit more space between the sensory descriptions and the emotional impact. the imagery is beautiful, but giving it just a little more room to breathe might deepen the sense of loss going on. they're quite similar. it makes me curious as to whether this is general or about a certain someone. it's ambiguous.
this is like a delicate elegy for moments passed, an entry in a forgotten diary. it captures the ephemeral nature of memory in such a gentle, haunting way. vague and out of reach, but it suits the temporary nature of life.
i hope to read more from you!
That is a very nice short
Poem
You did a very good job
Writing it
This is stunning! :O
Thanks!! :3