Hello, campbellrc22!
This is so wonderfully written and expressive. I really liked your descriptions. I don't really have much to say because this feels very real and personal. I do have some suggestions and agree that sentences could be structured differently. Though, these are just some things that I'm throwing out as considerations!
The sensation around me felt like I haven’t been conscious for months, but it was just a mere six hours of torment from needles, cutting, and repairing.
Perhaps, "Around me, I felt a sensation of having been unconscious for months...."
Completely cut open, with only stitches holding my spine together from letting blood and organs from leaking out, I understood at this single moment how hard the next 3 months of recovery would be.
Maybe, "...with only stitches holding my spine together from leaking out blood and organs...."
An overwhelming sadness and a sense of unfairness crashed on me as I thought about how I’m the child with all the problems physically, and why do I need to be the one going through this never ending pain, which only lasted for the past 15 seconds.
I think it would be "a sense of unfairness crashed onto me as I thought...."
Also, consider this: "...I thought about how I'm the child with all the problems physically. Why do I need to be the one going through this neverending pain...?"
That's all I have to suggest. I do believe that you mentioned that this was your surgery experience, so I hope your recovery is going well.
Best of wishes,
Cici
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