Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Verse
Staying out fighting 'til the end of the night
And Mama's out somewhere 'til the morning light
And Daddy's out doing what boys do
I've got a dime in my pocket and I'm set for life
And lately the silence cuts just like a knife
And, Jesus, tell your daddy to be fair
Chorus
And we're so far from Oklahoma
But the land's still dry and the cotton ain't growing
So someday I'll have to man up
I'm down by the creek where I pray for nothing, and
Jesus, ain't you s'possed to be doin' something
And, Jesus, you sure you're a one man show?
Verse
Met him down by the soda shop
And he wanted to go,
He got shit to stop
Got his holster ready, but prolly not for me
Uh-huh
Cause I'm a chewed up teen
By now I'm just lucky
In this big, wide world
All stuck with its bloodshed
And while father's gone,
May love just be a bandage
Chorus
And we're so far from Oklahoma
But the land's still dry and the cotton ain't growing
So someday I'll have to man up
I'm down by the creek where I pray for nothing, and
Jesus, ain't you s'possed to be doin' something
And, Jesus, you sure you're a one man show?
Verse
The boys are coming home by the lots
But they wanted to go, so keep their caskets locked
And their memory does all but faze the young
Now I'm tying the knot
Might cut off circulation, but
He's all that I want
My sin and my covenant
And if I sin, may he be my confession
Chorus
And we're so far from Oklahoma
But the land's still dry and the cotton ain't growing
So someday I'll have to man up
I'm down by the creek where I pray for nothing, and
Jesus, ain't you s'possed to be doin' something
And, Jesus, you sure you're a one man show?
Chorus
And we're so far from Oklahoma
But the land's still dry, and the land's still dry
Uh-huh, yeah
Uh-huh
I'm down by the creek in good old Alabama
With the dried up mud and the blood I've left, and
What if I ain't a saint?
Chorus
And we're so far from Oklahoma
But the land's still dry and the cotton ain't growing
So someday I'll have to man up
I'm down by the creek where I pray for nothing, and
Jesus, ain't you s'possed to be doin' something
And, Jesus, you sure you're a one man show?
And, Jesus, where is your brother, Cain?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,736 Reviews
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the atrocious S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - This is a song about Oklahoma, but also, abuse and cracked hearts, bright dreams and broken promises.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you may.
Chocolate Bar - I like how this song feels familiar and also deadly, like childhood/teen memories you’d want to forget. It kind of has an Ethel Cain vibe to it, to be honest. I like the last lines because it alludes to someone’s innocence being left behind. The “far from Oklahoma” in my opinion, is about being far from home and hell, how it’s both good and bad. But these are just my opinions!
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a very foreboding poem about how the road away from home can be a safe haven and something broken, I have enjoyed reading this and I love your lyricism! I wish you…
A glorious day/night! ^v^
And lookit, you get another review from me today 😊
Hmm I like the first verse, can really vibe with the first two lines, they set a nice rhyme. I also like this: “And lately the silence cuts just like a knife”
Chorus, I’m not so sure abt. Don’t like how it repeats “Jesus” all the time. Tho I like the first chorus line as an intro.
Hmmm I don’t rly understand this part:
I like the line abt the bandage but idk why it can only serve as such bc dad’s gone. Maybe this something USA specific that I just cant get.
This one is rly chilling: “But they wanted to go, so keep their caskets locked”
Also this is thought-provoking in conjunction with the previous line: “Might cut off circulation, but”
Interesting song indeed!
i love how the song format is utilized here! it allows build-up to the end that really did shock me at the end. gosh what a twist!! this is great!!