Published July 22, 2017
you've got to stand to fight
youve got to succeed
youve got to fall to rise
and youve got to live to die
-
you've got to give up the bad
and fill with the good
you've got to play lifes game
and feel the fame
-
you've got to stay brave
stay strong
its all the price
of rolling the dice
-
all a part of survivin'
in this world we live in
'cause you've got to play the game
and feel the fame
-
you've got to pray for good
and see the bad
but you got to try
and you got to fly
-
you've got to stand to fight
you've got to fail to succeed
you've got to fall to rise
you've got to live to die
-
you've got to keep brave
and move on
'cause its all a game
and you gotta catch the fame
-
its all part of life
ohh oh ohh
-
its all part of life
life (times 3)
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140,139 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Wow. That's all I really have to say. I was thinking of submitting my own song, but I better step up my game to make mine be half as good as this. The words are so simple yet so pure. How do you make the words rhyme? You have to teach me! You're amazing! Good luck with the rest of your writing.
Now am imagining so many different tunes for this song.. I'm singing "oh! oh! it's ride or die"! was that even a part of your song!..This is so amazing. it's grammar is simple and amazing, captivating and relative!. I love the work the most 'cause of it's self explanatory nature. It wasn't too cliché and and wasn't too abstract too.
Your rhyme pattern? flawless!
like how'd you do it? you need to teach me some of that.
xo:carlizee
Roll them Dice!!* * You've illumined what my name is all About!!
What do you EXACTLY mean by you gotta feel the fame?? Can you tell us how to fill up with the Good? I think maybe you should make some more metaphors, like describe a fruit falling from a tree and rotting to nourish the seed that sprouts into another blossoming plant! You should write another song, perhaps, about "How to Build a Dream" or something, that would be cool!! Also... Do u mean u got to die to live, bc you gotta live to die, I dunno it doesn't make much sense to me, but maybe it duz!
p.m. me if you know God, or want to, or have questions about, heck anything else in the whole wild world.
I was going to review this but I'm no good with critiquing song lyrics, but I just wanted to stop by and say how much I like your writing, the rhythm and the flow are all really nice, so yeah!
Thank you so much!!!!
Hi! These are the first lyrics I read on YWS and they are simply amazing. It's so cool of you to write a song. Starting a new line with a letter in the lowercase instead of the traditional uppercase one adds to its uniqueness and charm. I would, however, recommend adding punctuation marks to this work, unless, of course, you don't want to put them on purpose. For me, along with being an amazing song, this piece is an incredible poem as well. Even though the song is amazing and full of life, I couldn't help but feel that the rhymes were forced at certain points. For example, in the fifth stanza, 'try ' and 'fly ' didn't quite rhyme. I feel that, if sung in the right way, the song would be charming and cheerful even without rhyming words in practically every single line. Anyways, you are an awesome writer and this song is absolutely marvelous. Keep up the good work!
Yes, I see what your saying. Thank you so much.
You are welcome
HBCScribbles speeding by for a review! *tips hat* Howdy!
I love music, and I love positivity. And as I first glanced at your work, I saw how positive it was. Because the concept of having to go through the bad to get to the good is not always entertaining but it is most certainly fruitful in the end of it. And the sad thing is some people give up on the account of things in life being too hard, and I noticed that you used the word "try" on multiple occasions. Trying. That is what ends up getting you through to the other side. If more people today strove to make their life what they want it to be, the world may be a happier place.
The purpose of this song is encouragement, right? Because if that is the case I must say you're song is making me smile. I really hope you come to record it and make it into music.
As for the grammar, I always feel that with any work of writing that capitalization is key. I see no capital letters in the entire thing. Or periods. But it's not exactly a pressing matter for me at this time. Just pointing it out.
I loved your song, it was beautiful!
Awe thank you so much! And honestly I've never really looked at grammar but I will work on it! And what you were first saying, it is really sad that people give up. But I wrote this song trying to make myself stay strong. So with you liking it. Thank you!!
Hey there bvbAngel,
Myjaspercat here again to write you another review
Overall
So I didn't review this piece like I normally do since you mainly asked for suggestions on trying to make it better. That and the fact that I'm not really good at reviewing lyrics. However there are a few things I wanted to mention that I felt impaired this piece a bit.
1.)Pretty much the entire song you just repeated the same lines over and over again. While this can work sometime, here it just becomes to repetitive. As well, you need to work on varying the start of each line.
2.) Even though this isn't a poem or a piece of prose, you should still add commas and periods into the piece so you know when you're going to hold out certain notes/ lines etc...
Other then that, I suggest you look at printouts of lyrics from some of your favorite songs. Study them. Absorb them. Typically lyrics are written to the music, that way artists can match words to notes. Now I don't know if you've written music to go with these lyrics but if you haven't, sing the lyrics. That's what I did when I went through and edited this, I found a key that I thought fit, and I sang your lyrics, pausing where I think there should be a pause and what not.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Good luck and continue writing.
Thank you! I never really thought about putting punctuation into a song before so I will work on that. And I also sing the song to try to make it better, but I just couldn't figure out what it needed. So with you saying what I should add and take out to make it better, thank you so much!
Of course, I'm glad to help. I actually used to write songs myself when I first started to play piano so I understand the struggle.
Hi! It's super cool that you're writing a song! I like the repetition of the "you've got to" and also the rhythm of the first stanza! (You wrote with three iambs per line I believe. I'm not sure if you did it on purpose, but it sounds lovely). That being said, let's get into the review!
So, the first thing I'd want to say is that you should work on your rhythm. Since this is a song, rhythm is just about the most important thing to have. Even if you don't rhyme, a song is still great if it has a steady rhythm in each verse. So an example of where you do this well is in the first stanza/ verse (with the iambs). You use three iambs per line, so it's even all throughout the stanza. In other stanzas such as the second stanza with "and feel the fame", that's only four syllables, while the other lines are six or seven.
So there are a few rhythm patterns that you could use. One is that you have the same about of syllables in every line of a stanza. The second is that you alternate the number of syllables. So for example, you could do seven in the first line, six in the next line, and keep that pattern throughout. The last one is have the same amount of syllables throughout the while stanza and then have one less in the last line. (I'd say you could use that if you wanted your song to have a more empty or hopeless feeling).
So next thing is your rhyming. I'm putting this out there right now, your song doesn't have to rhyme perfectly. It doesn't even have to rhyme at all. I feel like your rhymes are kind of predictable, like you just took the first word you could think of and used it as your rhyme. Like in the fifth stanza, you rhymed "try" and "fly". Yeah, they rhyme, but I feel like you could find a different word that would make more sense in context. Also, this is way easier said than done.
Then is your word choice. So adjectives can either make or break a poem/ song, in my opinion. Your adjectives have to be strong. You can't use words like "good" or "bad", or even "brave". Try replacing them with words like moral, terrible or noble. Sometimes it's okay to have those words, but for this song, I feel like you're trying to send a powerful message. So, powerful adjectives fit the voice of this poem. (Thesaurus.com is your friend). Just don't go overboard with the adjectives so you avoid making your song sound like it was written by someone in older times.
Last thing is your theme. So basically, I couldn't really see a clear theme. You're either saying "you should look for the good in the world". Or "life is a game, and the only way to live is to play it, even if you're unhappy". So, are either of those your themes? If not, you should probably do a lot of rewriting so that you're more clear. (Either that or I'm just dumb. I'm not amazing at analyzing poems or songs, so take that last comment with a grain of salt). So if your theme is one of the two that I listed, you should choose one to focus on, because they basically have opposing messages. Or, you have two sides to the song, like people talking. People write songs to send a message. A song hasn't reached its full potential unless it clearly delivers its message.
Songs are super tough to write (believe me, I tried and fail at songwriting) so you've honestly got a great start on this. I'd also like to ask you what your instrumentation would be if you were ever to play this. Good luck on this, and I hope this review was helpful!
Okay, I totally see what you're saying, thank you so much. Really the theme is both of what you said but if it make it better ill try to focus on one of them. And the instruments? Well dealt I haven't thought about it. I've only thought about how i sing it. I will think about if I were to add instruments, what they would be. Again, thank you so much. It was very helpful
Cool, I'm sure your song will end up amazing!
Thank you so much!<3
Interesting song. What genre are you going to make it? In my opinion it would sound cool with either soft rock or light metal. It's deep and unique. I enjoy your lyrics. Keep writing angel!!
Honestly I'm not sure what genre it would be under. But i think it would go great with soft rock or light metal. Thank you so much! I'm glad that you liked it!